CIA Agents Buying Afghanistan Intelligence with Viagra Pills

By Mike Adams, December 28, 2008 | Key concepts: Afghanistan, CIA and Viagra

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If you're in the intelligence business, you'd better get used to getting stiffed by the local "assets" you handle. But CIA operatives are figuring out a new way to get locals to reveal valuable intelligence details, even on a limited budget: Just hand 'em some of those little blue pills and suddenly everyone's your best friend.

It's true: The CIA is now handing out Viagra pills as reward currency for Afghanistan intelligence assets who provide useful information. Even when cash or other motivators won't work, a fistful of little blue pills gets the locals to divulge sensitive information to the CIA man, now acting as a pharmacist.

Interestingly, while 45 million Americans are without health care and can't get Viagra without spending a wad of cash, the U.S. government is handing them out for free in Afghanistan!

This is the first time a war has been fought with the help of prescription medications, by the way, and they probably tried lots of other drugs before settling on Viagra: Want some statins? Nope. How about some toxic blood pressure drugs? Nope. Would you like some diabetes medications? Nope. We want Viagra!

Gee, next they'll be offering to drip fluoride into the Afghanistan water supply (an act of chemical warfare, of course) or offer "free" mammograms to the Afghanistan women in the hopes that many of them will end up on chemotherapy. War is Big Pharma's new marketing success story: Just blow the country to bits, and then you can waltz right in with a whole new medication agenda!

A lot of people there have got to be suffering from depression, right? Load 'em up on SSRIs and hope there aren't too many weapons lying around that might be fired when the patients go violent.

But the Viagra idea is downright brilliant. Get the locals preoccupied with sex and they'll have less time to spend plotting ambush attacks on American troops. Does this mean the CIA now believes the 1960's hippy slogan, "Make love not war?"

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CIA Agents Buying Afghanistan Intelligence with Viagra Pills

From Washingtonpost.com: "Whatever it takes to make friends and influence people -- whether it's building a school or handing out Viagra," said one longtime agency operative and veteran of several Afghanistan tours. Like other field officers interviewed for this article, he spoke on the condition of anonymity when describing tactics and operations that are largely classified.... more

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