 |
 |
|
Home | About Natural News | Contact Us | Write for Natural News | Media Information | Advertise with Natural News | |||
|
|
|||
|
||||
|
||||
|
||||
 |
|||||||||||||||
UK Bans Doctors' White Coats, Germ-Spreading Ties (satire)By Mike Adams, December 17, 2008 | Key concepts: Health care, Uniforms and Doctors The next time you dress up as a doctor or nurse (for Halloween or whatever), you may have to buy yourself some new scrubs. Scotland is making a fashion statement in the medical industry by banning doctors from wearing white lab coats. Yes, that all-too-familiar white lab coat -- long a symbol of medical authority -- is about to be replaced with a blue tunic.Same clothing, different cult. This modern medical cult believes you can be "saved" by imbibing toxic chemicals (pharmaceuticals) that are alien to the human body. The cult-conscious blue tunics will be offered in four shades colored according to your pay scale within the medical profession. The four shades will be Peon, Dork, Assistant Dork, and Dr. Dork. When all four shades appear together in one room, you might mistakenly think you're watching a parade of Teletubbies. (Except these people carry needles.) On that safety note, staff members are also being advised to stop carrying scissors in their breast pockets in order to prevent the inadvertent puncturing of patients. (Save that for the operating room, people!) Finally -- and this is absolutely true -- doctors are being told to stop wearing their germ-spreading ties! Do ties really spread germs? Not on their own, but when doctors lean over their patients, they are essentially swabbing them with their ties, then spreading those same germs to other patients. Have a little MRSA with your vaccine, here ya go! It's true: A doctor's tie is the most germ-infected piece of clothing in any hospital. And he never washes it, either! Yuck! (http://www.independent.co.uk/life-s...) A BBC article on the new dress code (http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/...) contains this astonishing caption under the main photo: "It is hoped the new uniforms will increase patient confidence." Because, of course, there is no confidence to be found in what these physicians are DOING, so it has to be established by what they're WEARING! Help! The patients are dying! What should we do? Change the costumes, of course! Unfortunately, even though the wardrobe of medical staff is being upgraded, the disposable patient gowns are undergoing no such improvements. They will continue to let your ass hang out the back (cold!) and flatter your figure with the designer curves of a cut-out cardboard dress from a child's play book. You'll look like a walking, life-sized cardboard celebrity poster tied to a stick. Al Gore, anyone? Disclaimer: This article is SATIRE, meaning it pokes fun at people for satirical purposes. It is, however, based on real news. This article is not meant to offend any individual profession any more than any other profession, because I believe in equal oppoffensivetunity for all!
Related Feature Articles:
|
Still eating salmon for omega-3s? See why GLM oil is far superiorThe Health Ranger has replaced fish oil and krill oil with THIS. What is THIS? Full details revealed...Click the link for full details. See the science and the user testimonials.
|
||||||||||||||
| This site is part of the Natural News Network © 2003, 2004, 2005, 2006, 2007, 2008, 2009, 2010, 2011 All Rights Reserved. Privacy | Terms All content posted on this site is commentary or opinion and is protected under Free Speech. Truth Publishing International, LTD. is not responsible for content written by contributing authors. The information on this site is provided for educational and entertainment purposes only. It is not intended as a substitute for professional advice of any kind. Truth Publishing assumes no responsibility for the use or misuse of this material. Your use of this website indicates your agreement to these terms and those published here. All trademarks, registered trademarks and servicemarks mentioned on this site are the property of their respective owners. |
Subscribe now to receive a summary of each day's most important natural health stories, plus get full, free access to the entire archives of books on HealthBookSummaries. 
