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Oh snap! 72 percent of grocery shopping carts contaminated with fecal matter (satire)

Friday, March 04, 2011
by Mike Adams, the Health Ranger
Editor of NaturalNews.com (See all articles...)
Tags: shopping carts, fecal matter, health news

Shopping carts

(NaturalNews) (Note: This true but humorous article contains mildly offensive language. Do not continue reading if you are easily offended.) A researcher from the University of Arizona has determined that 72 percent of shopping carts are contaminated with fecal matter. A full 50 percent also contained e.coli. Ready for some shopping fun?

The research was carried out by Professor Charles Gerba who swabbed the handles of 85 shopping carts across four states, reports USA Today (http://www.usatoday.com/yourlife/health/2011...). Those swabs were then analyzed to determine how many contained fecal matter.

"What are you doing up so late in the lab?" someone probably asked Charles Gerba. "Looking for some fecal matter!" came the reply. "And all I've found so far is this s#*t!"

Turns out he found what he was looking for… and plenty of it. More was found on the grocery carts than is typically found in a restroom, say researchers. That's probably because restrooms are often cleaned (well, at least we hope they are) while grocery shopping carts are never cleaned. Oh God, seriously? Yep, that's what those antibacterial wipes are for, if you prefer chemicals to the fecal matter. Grocery stores almost never clean their shopping carts, you know. They just leave them out in the rain and hope whatever is on them gets washed off from time to time.

Interestingly, while this study found all kinds of fecal matter on the grocery cart handles, it didn't really look at all the crap inside the shopping carts! The processed cheese food, carbonated sodas with high-fructose corn syrup, the factory-processed sandwich meat with cancer-causing nitrites, and the canned soups with sky-high levels of cheap salt and hormone-mimicking BPA… you get the idea. That's often referred to as "crap food" if you'll pardon our language.

Yep, there's fecal matter on the handles, and crap in the carts! And that doesn't even count the fact that most of the e.coli contamination of vegetables that occurs from time to time is due to the fecal runoff of factory animal operations. You see, e.coli only grows in the guts of animals, and the only way it gets onto vegetables from time to time is because those vegetables come into contact with -- you guessed it -- factory-farmed animal sewage!

You just gotta love conventional agriculture, huh? The stuff they're shoveling, you don't want to be eating, believe me.

So now we have shoppers whose shopping carts are covered with it, buying vegetables that have come into contact with it, and eating processed factory foods that have roughly the same value as it, and the FDA wants us all to believe that they're somehow not full of it when they say "just irradiate all the food!" Because dead food is safe food, right?

I think a better idea might be to just wash your hands after shopping at the grocery store, and then wash all the stuff you buy there just in case it's contaminated, too.

Better yet, grow some of your own food. You can sprout some fresh seeds right in your own kitchen, and you don't have to worry about them being contaminated with fecal matter unless you have some very strange pets in your house.

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About the author:Mike Adams (aka the "Health Ranger") is a best selling author (#1 best selling science book on Amazon.com) and a globally recognized scientific researcher in clean foods. He serves as the founding editor of NaturalNews.com and the lab science director of an internationally accredited (ISO 17025) analytical laboratory known as CWC Labs. There, he was awarded a Certificate of Excellence for achieving extremely high accuracy in the analysis of toxic elements in unknown water samples using ICP-MS instrumentation. Adams is also highly proficient in running liquid chromatography, ion chromatography and mass spectrometry time-of-flight analytical instrumentation.

Adams is a person of color whose ancestors include Africans and Native American Indians. He's also of Native American heritage, which he credits as inspiring his "Health Ranger" passion for protecting life and nature against the destruction caused by chemicals, heavy metals and other forms of pollution.

Adams is the founder and publisher of the open source science journal Natural Science Journal, the author of numerous peer-reviewed science papers published by the journal, and the author of the world's first book that published ICP-MS heavy metals analysis results for foods, dietary supplements, pet food, spices and fast food. The book is entitled Food Forensics and is published by BenBella Books.

In his laboratory research, Adams has made numerous food safety breakthroughs such as revealing rice protein products imported from Asia to be contaminated with toxic heavy metals like lead, cadmium and tungsten. Adams was the first food science researcher to document high levels of tungsten in superfoods. He also discovered over 11 ppm lead in imported mangosteen powder, and led an industry-wide voluntary agreement to limit heavy metals in rice protein products.

In addition to his lab work, Adams is also the (non-paid) executive director of the non-profit Consumer Wellness Center (CWC), an organization that redirects 100% of its donations receipts to grant programs that teach children and women how to grow their own food or vastly improve their nutrition. Through the non-profit CWC, Adams also launched Nutrition Rescue, a program that donates essential vitamins to people in need. Click here to see some of the CWC success stories.

With a background in science and software technology, Adams is the original founder of the email newsletter technology company known as Arial Software. Using his technical experience combined with his love for natural health, Adams developed and deployed the content management system currently driving NaturalNews.com. He also engineered the high-level statistical algorithms that power SCIENCE.naturalnews.com, a massive research resource featuring over 10 million scientific studies.

Adams is well known for his incredibly popular consumer activism video blowing the lid on fake blueberries used throughout the food supply. He has also exposed "strange fibers" found in Chicken McNuggets, fake academic credentials of so-called health "gurus," dangerous "detox" products imported as battery acid and sold for oral consumption, fake acai berry scams, the California raw milk raids, the vaccine research fraud revealed by industry whistleblowers and many other topics.

Adams has also helped defend the rights of home gardeners and protect the medical freedom rights of parents. Adams is widely recognized to have made a remarkable global impact on issues like GMOs, vaccines, nutrition therapies, human consciousness.

In addition to his activism, Adams is an accomplished musician who has released over a dozen popular songs covering a variety of activism topics.

Click here to read a more detailed bio on Mike Adams, the Health Ranger, at HealthRanger.com.

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