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Food labeling

The Uniform Food Ignorance Act (HR 4167) (satire)

Monday, March 06, 2006
by Mike Adams, the Health Ranger
Editor of NaturalNews.com (See all articles...)
Tags: food labeling, health news, Natural News

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I have recently learned that the National Uniformity for Food Act (HR 4167) is not what you think. A Washington insider has faxed me documents showing the original wording of the bill, and its original name: the Uniform Food Ignorance Act. This name was apparently changed to make the bill sound more appealing.

In the original Uniform Food Ignorance Act, I found several disturbing passages that I feel obligated to share with you here. You will be absolutely shocked to read these words that reflect the original intent of the bill. Here's what I found...

1.3.1 Ignorance is safety

As this country is founded on equality, no American shall be entitled to any more information about cancer-causing food ingredients or the contamination of foods with heavy metals than any other American. Therefore, all Americans shall be kept uniformly ignorant about the health dangers of their foods, for their own protection.

4.2.2 Education is dangerous

As consumers cannot be trusted to be able to reliably understand food warning labels written in plain English such as, "This food contains an ingredient shown to cause cancer" or, "This product may cause birth defects," all such warning labels shall be immediately removed from all food products.

Providing information to consumers about the so-called "dangers" of certain chemicals or heavy metals, without the full scientific context by which such conclusions were reached, will only serve to confuse consumers and may in fact compromise their ability to make healthful grocery shopping decisions. The outlawing of such confusing warnings will make food shopping simpler, more reliable and safer for all.

6.5.2 Voluntary labeling by food companies

If any foods actually contain dangerous or cancer-causing ingredients, food companies shall voluntarily print such warnings on their food labels in good faith, thereby greatly reducing the cost of requiring federal oversight on food safety and subsequently saving the American taxpayers millions of dollars each year. We, the members of Congress, have been promised so by Kraft Foods, Heinz, the Grocery Manufacturers of America and other campaign contributors.

12.3.9 The revocation of States' rights

That States have passed laws requiring warning labels of dangerous food ingredients is an unacceptable encroachment into regulatory territory clearly reserved for the United States federal government. States are out of bounds in seeking such regulatory power, as it has not been granted to them by the federal government, the source of all power and rights in the United States of America.

Therefore, in order to halt the decentralization of federal power, this Congress shall send a message to state-level regulatory authorities that their attempts to seize regulatory powers from the federal government shall not be tolerated.

With the passage of this Food Ignorance Act, the Tenth Amendment of the Bill of Rights shall also be deemed null and void.

16.4.4 Homeland security

As the U.S. food supply is crucial to the stability of this nation, and as requiring food companies to print and inventory different labels for different states creates an unnecessary cost burden to such companies, the streamlining of factory food label printing, inventory and distribution shall hereby be deemed crucial to the national security of the United States of America.

Any attempt to interfere with the timely production, distribution or sales of processed food products shall hence forth by deemed an act of terrorism, and any individuals or state government agencies (such as state Departments of Agriculture) responsible for such acts of terrorism shall be "processed" at the Guantanamo Bay detection center, where they shall be force-fed Oreo cookies until they either confess to their crimes or die from chronic diarrhea. As we will use cookies, not weapons, this shall not be considered torture, but rather shall be described as the "Guantanamo Bay school lunch program."

22.7.6 The Darth Vader clause

We, the Congress of these United States, shall bring law and order to the universe. We will crush the food safety rebellion and finally bring peace to our people. After all, we are the "United" States of America, and with the passage of this Food Ignorance Act, we shall be once again truly united under one regulatory body, to the benefit of all.


  • Ignorance is safety.
  • Education is dangerous.
  • Tyranny is unity.

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About the author:Mike Adams (aka the "Health Ranger") is a best selling author (#1 best selling science book on Amazon.com) and a globally recognized scientific researcher in clean foods. He serves as the founding editor of NaturalNews.com and the lab science director of an internationally accredited (ISO 17025) analytical laboratory known as CWC Labs. There, he was awarded a Certificate of Excellence for achieving extremely high accuracy in the analysis of toxic elements in unknown water samples using ICP-MS instrumentation. Adams is also highly proficient in running liquid chromatography, ion chromatography and mass spectrometry time-of-flight analytical instrumentation.

Adams is a person of color whose ancestors include Africans and Native American Indians. He's also of Native American heritage, which he credits as inspiring his "Health Ranger" passion for protecting life and nature against the destruction caused by chemicals, heavy metals and other forms of pollution.

Adams is the founder and publisher of the open source science journal Natural Science Journal, the author of numerous peer-reviewed science papers published by the journal, and the author of the world's first book that published ICP-MS heavy metals analysis results for foods, dietary supplements, pet food, spices and fast food. The book is entitled Food Forensics and is published by BenBella Books.

In his laboratory research, Adams has made numerous food safety breakthroughs such as revealing rice protein products imported from Asia to be contaminated with toxic heavy metals like lead, cadmium and tungsten. Adams was the first food science researcher to document high levels of tungsten in superfoods. He also discovered over 11 ppm lead in imported mangosteen powder, and led an industry-wide voluntary agreement to limit heavy metals in rice protein products.

In addition to his lab work, Adams is also the (non-paid) executive director of the non-profit Consumer Wellness Center (CWC), an organization that redirects 100% of its donations receipts to grant programs that teach children and women how to grow their own food or vastly improve their nutrition. Through the non-profit CWC, Adams also launched Nutrition Rescue, a program that donates essential vitamins to people in need. Click here to see some of the CWC success stories.

With a background in science and software technology, Adams is the original founder of the email newsletter technology company known as Arial Software. Using his technical experience combined with his love for natural health, Adams developed and deployed the content management system currently driving NaturalNews.com. He also engineered the high-level statistical algorithms that power SCIENCE.naturalnews.com, a massive research resource featuring over 10 million scientific studies.

Adams is well known for his incredibly popular consumer activism video blowing the lid on fake blueberries used throughout the food supply. He has also exposed "strange fibers" found in Chicken McNuggets, fake academic credentials of so-called health "gurus," dangerous "detox" products imported as battery acid and sold for oral consumption, fake acai berry scams, the California raw milk raids, the vaccine research fraud revealed by industry whistleblowers and many other topics.

Adams has also helped defend the rights of home gardeners and protect the medical freedom rights of parents. Adams is widely recognized to have made a remarkable global impact on issues like GMOs, vaccines, nutrition therapies, human consciousness.

In addition to his activism, Adams is an accomplished musician who has released over a dozen popular songs covering a variety of activism topics.

Click here to read a more detailed bio on Mike Adams, the Health Ranger, at HealthRanger.com.

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