rats

Overrun by giant rats, NYC to try city-wide rat vaccination campaign to cull population (part satire)


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Delicious
(NaturalNews) According to the NY Daily News (1), NYC Mayor de Blasio has announced a $611,000 war against giant rats that are running wild across the city, frightening residents and rolling away food carts of street vendors. "Nobody wants rats in their community, and we are committed to tackling the rat problem," said Health Commissioner Mary Bassett.

The chosen method of decimating the rat population, however, is raising eyebrows. NYC officials plan to announce "free vaccine clinics" for rats in the hope that they will all line up to be injected with deadly poisons.

"It worked for the human population," explained Bassett, "as they all lined up to be injected with vaccines containing toxic mercury, aluminum, formaldehyde and MSG. So we thought we would try the same approach with rats and see if they will be similarly obedient."

Getting rats to line up for deadly injections is "more cost effective" than hunting them down in sewers and hidden locations, Natural News was informed. "These are large collections of rat colonies where they reproduce, where they have access to water, where they have access to food," Bassett explained to the NY Daily News. "Free vaccine programs give them a reason to come out on their own. After all, rats live with rats that spread disease!"

Vaccine programs useful in many ways

This isn't the first time vaccines have been used by the government in a covert war. The White House recently admitted using fake vaccination programs to harvest DNA from the public as part of its war on terror. While the White House promised it would never use such tactics again, that promise only applies to humans, not rats.

In fact, as the NY Daily News reports:

The administration's budget also includes $2.4 million for the medical examiner's office to reduce turnaround times for processing DNA tests. It now takes 94 days on average to process DNA -- with a backlog of 1,600 cases.

Seriously, this is an exact quote from their article about rats. Is NYC spending $2.4 million to run DNA tests on rats? (Or was the NY Daily News suddenly talking about HUMAN DNA tests?)

"Rat indexing" resembles census bureau activities

According to the NY Daily News, to combat the rat problem, NYC officials fan out across the city like census bureau workers, recording observations they call "rat indexing."

This activity closely resembles U.S. census bureau activities which are called "people indexing."

The idea is the same: Find out where people live and how many are still alive there. With this information, plans can be drawn up to either lay out poison traps (in the case of rats) or open Golden Corral buffet restaurants (in the case of people).

Coincidentally, the very substance used to poison the rats is molecularly identical to the prescription drug warfarin, a blood thinner taken by most of the people who eat at Golden Corral.

FACT CHECK: See "At last, an alternative to taking rat poison: The side effects of blood-thinner warfarin bring misery to thousands" via the Daily Mail.

Conclusion

As indicated in the title, this article is partial satire. The rat problem in NYC is true, and most of the quotes used in this story are real. The White House admission of using fake vaccination programs to harvest DNA from the public is also real.

The only satire element of this story is the idea that city officials would launch a rat vaccination campaign in the hopes that rats would line up to be injected with poisons.

Obviously, rats are not that stupid.

Care to guess who is that stupid?



NOTABLE: When millions of giant rats are poisoned to death, it's called "pest control." When millions of humans are poisoned to death, it's called "chemotherapy."

FACT: The CDC openly admits that vaccines are still made with these neurotoxic substances: Mercury, Aluminum, Formaldehyde and MSG. Click here for proof.

FACT: As the editor of Natural News, I am not opposed to the theory of immunization. I am opposed to the continued use of toxic substances in vaccines -- substances known to cause harm to children and which exist in vaccines at levels that exceed EPA guidelines for drinking water.

FACT: 98 million Americans were injected with hidden cancer viruses in polio vaccines.



Sources for this article include:
(1) http://www.nydailynews.com/new-york/mayor-de...

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