couples

Six things happy couples do differently than the rest

Wednesday, November 27, 2013 by: Mike Bundrant
Tags: happy couples, marriage, habits

eTrust Pro Certified

Delicious Pin It
(NaturalNews) An unhappy relationship can wreak havoc on your emotions and health. In fact, a ten-year study has shown that stressful relationships are a causal factor in depression.

We are all social creatures. When we carry negative emotions - every single day - toward the people in our lives, it destroys us.

It's important to get this area of life right. In fact, it is among the most important things you can do.

Whenever you want to do something well, it is always more effective to learn from someone who is already succeeding at what you want to do.

In this spirit, I've researched the patterns of behavior among happy couples. I've consulted some of the best online resources. I've drawn upon my own experience over 25 years of coaching and 10 years of successful friendship with my wife, Hope.

I also included Jake and Hannah Eagle, co-developers of the most insanely useful romantic relationships program online. So, please enjoy the six things happy couples do differently.

1. Happy couples keep the surprise alive

If you don't satisfy your need for variety in life, then you will most definitely get BORED. Boredom in relationships is DEADLY.

How do you keep things interesting with someone you've known for years? Surprise them.

Shock your partner with something thoughtful - and it doesn't have to be expensive. And make it about him or her. So, don't buy yourself a new car to surprise your spouse.

Examples:
• Say I love you out of the blue.
• Surprise gifts and inexpensive outings.
• Do the other's chores around the house while she is away.
• Volunteering a massage.

It's the little things! Keep the other person guessing about what you'll do next. Each pleasant surprise
adds a spice to recipe in your relationship. And don't do the same "nice" thing every Tuesday. You can't schedule surprise.

If you neglect this one, the surprise you get one day might not be pleasant.

2. Get physical - all the time

Not just sex.

Happy couples take time to feel each other's body all the time. Longer hugs. Kissing so you actually feel the impression of lips gives the extra ounce of connection that bonds two people together.

The experts at HelpGuide state that the number one relationship priority is: Connect.

Connecting physically boosts oxytocin, the hormone that governs human bonding. According to at least one survey reported by the Guardian, couples were happiest when they slept in the nude together.

3. Happy couples learn world-class communication skills (amazingly easy to learn)

A whole new level of sophisticated communication skills is NOT DIFFICULT to learn and apply. For example, in NLP we know that a majority of communication happens through three of the five senses.

We communicate in pictures, sounds and feelings. Most people have a preference for one of these modes of communication.

Love
is a form of communication.

Therefore, it is best sent in the way your partner prefers to receive it. So simple!

Visual
lovers like visual evidence of love (things they can see): gifts, dressing up nice and going out, a clean kitchen, seeing you do something for them.

Auditory
lovers like to hear kind, loving expressions (and in a kind, loving tone).

Feeling oriented
lovers like to touch: Hugs, closeness, holding hands, kissing, etc...

Communicating love outside your partner's modality may not even count (for your partner). If you are a visual lover, for example, a hug doesn't mean as much as seeing evidence. In fact, you may feel smothered by constant clinging.

Custom package your love for your partner. If you don't know your partner's preference, ask!

4. When problems occurs, they are willing to own up

Healthy couples are great at holding each other accountable. This is possible for one important reason: Each person also holds SELF accountable first.

Try holding an equal partner accountable consistently while never taking responsibility for yourself. This sad strategy only leads to mutual resentment and defensiveness.

If you want the right to hold someone else accountable, then be willing to expect the same of yourself. The respect you deserve comes from this place of personal maturity.

5. Gentleness: the missing link in most relationships

The art of gentleness can transform your relationship. In fact, the Gottman Institute, a leader in marriage research, claims that being gentle is the number one factor in determining the success of your relationship.

Are you gentle with your spouse, even when you disagree. Even when he lets you down? If not, rest assured you are adding to the hurt and resentment. Hurt and resentment do not simply vanish without reconciliation. One day, resentment will rear its ugly head.

Interestingly, many of us confuse gentleness with indulgence. We think that if we are kind, we have to put up with rudeness, mistreatment, laziness, etc...Not true. You can be gentle and still require respect, hold people accountable and deliver consequences.

In fact, being gentle is a far more effective way of demanding respect.


6. Happy understand that friendship is more important than family

Good marriage, for example, is friendship BEFORE it is family. Why?

Because, on average, people enjoy friends more than family.

The evidence for this is pretty impressive. A survey done via the Mappiness App collected more than 3 million responses in its real time happiness survey. Results clearly showed that participants were far happier when in the company of friends than with family.

Friends even made people happier than spouses and didn't even compare to "other family."

Among families of origin, people are often used to contradicting each other, being annoyed, rolling their eyes, bickering, sneaking around and feeling oppressed. It's the truth. Families are often cauldrons of misery.

Your primary relationship or marriage does not have to be like this if you are friends first. Good friends are less likely to treat each other with disrespect. If you are friends, you are more likely to respect boundaries.The fatal mistake so many couples make is diving into a young relationship too deeply, too quickly.

When you do this, you bypass the opportunity to form a friendship and instantly create another family member. For more on the essential stages of romantic relationships, click here.


What are you committed to: happiness or misery?

The sad truth is that your subconscious mind is not as committed to your happiness as you are. It may be harboring reasons - known as psychological attachments - for clinging to familiar misery.

To implement the principles above, you may need to discover and root out your tendencies toward self-sabotage. This removes the subconscious tendency to accept what is painfully familiar.

If you like this article, then like my Facebook Page to keep up with all my writing.


About the author:
Watch the free video The AHA! Process: An End to Self-Sabotage and discover the lost keys to personal transformation and emotional well-being that have been suppressed by mainstream mental health for decades.

The information in this video has been called the missing link in mental health and personal development. In a world full of shallow, quick-fix techniques, second rate psychology and pharmaceutical takeovers, real solutions have become nearly impossible to find. Click here to watch the presentation that will turn your world upside down.

Mike Bundrant is co-founder of the iNLP Center and host of Mental Health Exposed, a Natural News Radio program.

Follow Mike on Facebook for daily personal development tips.

Get breaking news alerts on GMOs, fluoride, superfoods, natural cures and more...
Join over four million monthly readers. Email privacy 100% protected. Unsubscribe at any time.


Have comments on this article? Post them here:

comments powered by Disqus

Take Action: Support NaturalNews.com

Email this article to a friend

Permalink to this article:

Reprinting this article: Non-commercial use OK, cite NaturalNews.com with clickable link.

Embed article link: (copy HTML code below):
Most Popular
Today | Week | Month | Year

See all Top Headlines...



GET SHOW DETAILS
+ a FREE GIFT

Now Available at ShopNaturalNews.com

O3 Essentials OraJuvenate™
A powerful, cleansing dental cream for maximum oral/dental health.
New Cancer Solutions
Over 3 hours of content covering today’s best cancer tests, how to kill cancer cells and the best diets and exercise routines.
Freeze-Dried 100% Organic Whole Corn
Our freeze-drying method preserves taste, texture and nutrients better than any other food preservation method ever invented.
Fenix TK35 Flashlight
Tough, waterproof, extremely bright and it’s touted to throw an 800+ lumen beam more than 1,000 feet into the night.
Inca Treasure Smoothie Pack
This pack of our four most popular superfoods from South America is the perfect combo pack for smoothie lovers.
Pink Himalayan Salt
This salt delivers significant levels of magnesium, zinc and selenium, with trace levels of dozens of other elements.
Pinhole Glasses - Aviator Style
Pinhole glasses are becoming famous for helping people improve their vision without the risks of laser surgery.
Oxy-Rich Facial Serum
O3 Essentials Jojoba Oxy-Rich Facial Serum is cellular nourishment for your skin. Helps smooth fine lines while enhancing tissue elasticity.
Freeze-Dried 100% Blackberry Halves
Our freeze-dried blackberry halves are grown in Serbia under strict organic standards.

Also on NaturalNews:

Health Ranger Videos
Activist music
CounterThink Cartoons
Food documentaries
FREE Special Reports
Podcasts
Colloidal Silver

Advertise with NaturalNews...

Support NaturalNews Sponsors:

Advertise with NaturalNews...

Most Popular Stories

Flu shot kills 19-year-old, but vaccine industry still has total immunity against lawsuits
Here's a nutty fact: Eating more tree nuts lowers the risk of all-cause death by up to 20 percent
Six important facts you're not being told about lost Malaysia Airlines Flight 370
Malaysia Airlines Flight 370 now clearly a government cover-up: All evidence contradicts official story
10 other companies that use the same Subway yoga mat chemical in their buns
BLM fracking racket exposed! Armed siege and cattle theft from Bundy ranch really about fracking leases
High-dose vitamin C injections shown to annihilate cancer
U.S. treating meat with ammonia, bleach and antibiotics to kill the '24-hour sickness'
USDA to allow U.S. to be overrun with contaminated chicken from China
Vaccine fraud exposed: Measles and mumps making a huge comeback because vaccines are designed to fail, say Merck virologists
Battle for humanity nearly lost: global food supply deliberately engineered to end life, not nourish it
Diet soda, aspartame linked to premature deaths in women

25 Amazing Facts About Food

This FREE downloadable report unveils a collection of astonishing and little-known facts about the food we eat very day. Click here to read it now...

 

Resveratrol and its Effects on Human Health and Longevity - Myth or Miracle.

Unlock the secrets of cellular health with the "miracle" nutrient Resveratrol Click here to read it now...

 

Nutrition Can Save America

FREE online report shows how we can save America through a nutrition health care revolution. "Eating healthy is patriotic!" Click here to read it now...

The Healing Power of Sunlight and Vitamin D

In this exclusive interview, Dr. Michael Holick reveals fascinating facts on how vitamin D is created and used in the human body to ward off chronic diseases like cancer, osteoporosis, mental disorders and more. Click here to read it now...

Vaccines: Get the Full Story

The International Medical Council on Vaccination has released, exclusively through NaturalNews.com, a groundbreaking document containing the signatures of physicians, brain surgeons and professors, all of which have signed on to a document stating that vaccines pose a significant risk of harm to the health of children. Click here to read it now...

Health Ranger Storable Organics

GMO-free, chemical-free foods and superfoods for long-term storage and preparedness. See selection at www.StorableOrganics.com



Recommended Resources On:

Natural News trends
Health Ranger news
Natural News GMOs
Mike Adams tracker
Natural News photos
Natural News Global
Natural News in focus
Natural News connect
Natural News shocking stories
Natural News radar
GMOs
Quackwatch
Vaccines
Health freedom
Dr. Paul Offit

This site is part of the Natural News Network © 2014 All Rights Reserved. Privacy | Terms All content posted on this site is commentary or opinion and is protected under Free Speech. Truth Publishing International, LTD. is not responsible for content written by contributing authors. The information on this site is provided for educational and entertainment purposes only. It is not intended as a substitute for professional advice of any kind. Truth Publishing assumes no responsibility for the use or misuse of this material. Your use of this website indicates your agreement to these terms and those published here. All trademarks, registered trademarks and servicemarks mentioned on this site are the property of their respective owners.

eTrust Pro Certified Android app on Google Play

Sign up for the FREE Natural News Email Newsletter

Receive breaking news on GMOs, vaccines, fluoride, radiation protection, natural cures, food safety alerts and interviews with the world's top experts on natural health and more.

Join over 7 million monthly readers of NaturalNews.com, the internet's No. 1 natural health news site. (Source: Alexa.com)

Your email address *

Please enter the code you see above*

No Thanks

Already have it and love it!

Natural News supports and helps fund these organizations:

* Required. Once you click submit, we will send you an email asking you to confirm your free registration. Your privacy is assured and your information is kept confidential. You may unsubscribe at anytime.