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TSA Santa and the Night Before Christmas

Saturday, November 24, 2012
by Mike Adams, the Health Ranger
Editor of NaturalNews.com (See all articles...)
Tags: TSA Santa, Christmas, poem

TSA Santa
(NaturalNews) The holiday season is the best time of the year for TSA agents to steal electronics out of your luggage. And it's not uncommon: TSA employees have been caught over and over again, stealing electronics and selling them on eBay.

One TSA employee admitted to stealing $800,000 worth of merchandise out of travelers' luggage. He described the TSA as "a culture of criminality."

Another TSA agent who stole $40,000 worth of items out of passenger luggage was sentenced to only five months in jail. The TSA will probably make him the department head when he gets out of prison, as the TSA actively seeks to hire and promote the most wicked criminal minds possible, including pedophiles.

ABC News even caught one TSA goon stealing a laptop that was rigged with a tracker device. When journalists went to the agent's house to ask why their laptop was now located there, the TSA thief originally denied it, and then later blamed his wife. (It just gets more pathetic by the day.)

So to celebrate TSA thieves, crooks, pedophiles, sexual molesters and perverts, all of whom drool over the possibility of feeling your genitals and then swiping valuables out of your luggage, I've penned this little holiday poem called "TSA Santa." Enjoy and share!

'Twas the night before Christmas
And all through the house
Not a creature was stirring
Not even a mouse


When along came a thud
And a sick-sounding "ooof!"
Like some huge man-shaped blob
Just got dropped on the roof


He scrambled and cursed
As he fumbled his way
To the chimney, I know
'Cuz I heard a voice say


"This better be good
One more house and I'm done!"
Then he scaled down the chimney
with a pepper spray gun


I fled as the monster
Squeezed out of the chute
It was TSA Santa
Come to steal all our loot


With a sack in one hand
(Like he does with young boys)
He stole all our iPads
and cameras and toys


He stripped us of everything
and slithered away
to prep all the items
for sale on eBay


TSA Santa
Loves holiday cheer
He can steal much more stuff
At this time of the year


He crushes your testicles
And little boys' dreams
Making good on Big Government's
Tyranny schemes


If TSA Santa
tries to steal all your loot
Aim your twelve gauge with care
and don't blink when you shoot


For the world would be better
without tyranny and fear
We could all enjoy Christmas
and a Happy New Year

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About the author:Mike Adams (aka the "Health Ranger") is a best selling author (#1 best selling science book on Amazon.com) and a globally recognized scientific researcher in clean foods. He serves as the founding editor of NaturalNews.com and the lab science director of an internationally accredited (ISO 17025) analytical laboratory known as CWC Labs. There, he was awarded a Certificate of Excellence for achieving extremely high accuracy in the analysis of toxic elements in unknown water samples using ICP-MS instrumentation. Adams is also highly proficient in running liquid chromatography, ion chromatography and mass spectrometry time-of-flight analytical instrumentation.

Adams is a person of color whose descendents include Africans and American Indians. He self-identifies as being of American Indian heritage, which he credits as inspiring his "Health Ranger" passion for protecting life and nature against the destruction caused by chemicals, heavy metals and other forms of pollution.

Adams is the founder and publisher of the open source science journal Natural Science Journal, the author of numerous peer-reviewed science papers published by the journal, and the author of the world's first book that published ICP-MS heavy metals analysis results for foods, dietary supplements, pet food, spices and fast food. The book is entitled Food Forensics and is published by BenBella Books.

In his laboratory research, Adams has made numerous food safety breakthroughs such as revealing rice protein products imported from Asia to be contaminated with toxic heavy metals like lead, cadmium and tungsten. Adams was the first food science researcher to document high levels of tungsten in superfoods. He also discovered over 11 ppm lead in imported mangosteen powder, and led an industry-wide voluntary agreement to limit heavy metals in rice protein products.

In addition to his lab work, Adams is also the (non-paid) executive director of the non-profit Consumer Wellness Center (CWC), an organization that redirects 100% of its donations receipts to grant programs that teach children and women how to grow their own food or vastly improve their nutrition. Through the non-profit CWC, Adams also launched Nutrition Rescue, a program that donates essential vitamins to people in need. Click here to see some of the CWC success stories.

With a background in science and software technology, Adams is the original founder of the email newsletter technology company known as Arial Software. Using his technical experience combined with his love for natural health, Adams developed and deployed the content management system currently driving NaturalNews.com. He also engineered the high-level statistical algorithms that power SCIENCE.naturalnews.com, a massive research resource featuring over 10 million scientific studies.

Adams is well known for his incredibly popular consumer activism video blowing the lid on fake blueberries used throughout the food supply. He has also exposed "strange fibers" found in Chicken McNuggets, fake academic credentials of so-called health "gurus," dangerous "detox" products imported as battery acid and sold for oral consumption, fake acai berry scams, the California raw milk raids, the vaccine research fraud revealed by industry whistleblowers and many other topics.

Adams has also helped defend the rights of home gardeners and protect the medical freedom rights of parents. Adams is widely recognized to have made a remarkable global impact on issues like GMOs, vaccines, nutrition therapies, human consciousness.

In addition to his activism, Adams is an accomplished musician who has released over a dozen popular songs covering a variety of activism topics.

Click here to read a more detailed bio on Mike Adams, the Health Ranger, at HealthRanger.com.

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