(NaturalNews) The holiday season is the best time of the year for TSA agents to steal electronics out of your luggage. And it's not uncommon: TSA employees have been caught over and over again, stealing electronics and selling them on eBay.
ABC News even caught one TSA goon stealing a laptop that was rigged with a tracker device. When journalists went to the agent's house to ask why their laptop was now located there, the TSA thief originally denied it, and then later blamed his wife. (It just gets more pathetic by the day.)
So to celebrate TSA thieves, crooks, pedophiles, sexual molesters and perverts, all of whom drool over the possibility of feeling your genitals and then swiping valuables out of your luggage, I've penned this little holiday poem called "TSA Santa." Enjoy and share!
'Twas the night before Christmas And all through the house Not a creature was stirring Not even a mouse
When along came a thud And a sick-sounding "ooof!" Like some huge man-shaped blob Just got dropped on the roof
He scrambled and cursed As he fumbled his way To the chimney, I know 'Cuz I heard a voice say
"This better be good One more house and I'm done!" Then he scaled down the chimney with a pepper spray gun
I fled as the monster Squeezed out of the chute It was TSA Santa Come to steal all our loot
With a sack in one hand (Like he does with young boys) He stole all our iPads and cameras and toys
He stripped us of everything and slithered away to prep all the items for sale on eBay
... ... ...
TSA Santa Loves holiday cheer He can steal much more stuff At this time of the year
He crushes your testicles And little boys' dreams Making good on Big Government's Tyranny schemes
If TSA Santa tries to steal all your loot Aim your twelve gauge with care and don't blink when you shoot
For the world would be better without tyranny and fear We could all enjoy Christmas and a Happy New Year
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About the author:
Mike Adams (aka the "Health Ranger") is the founding editor of NaturalNews.com, the internet's No. 1 natural health news website, now reaching 7 million unique readers a month.
With a background in science and software technology, Adams is the original founder of the email newsletter technology company known as Arial Software. Using his technical experience combined with his love for natural health, Adams developed and deployed the content management system currently driving NaturalNews.com. He also engineered the high-level statistical algorithms that power SCIENCE.naturalnews.com, a massive research resource now featuring over 10 million scientific studies.
In addition to being the co-star of the popular GAIAM TV series called Secrets to Health, Adams is also the (non-paid) executive director of the non-profit Consumer Wellness Center (CWC), an organization that redirects 100% of its donations receipts to grant programs that teach children and women how to grow their own food or vastly improve their nutrition. Click here to see some of the CWC success stories.
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