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Health Update: McDonald's wrappers, antibiotics, freaky weather, creaky railroads and population control (satire)

Friday, August 10, 2007
by Mike Adams, the Health Ranger
Editor of NaturalNews.com (See all articles...)
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A new study led by Dr. Thomas Robinson, the director of the Center for Healthy Weight at Packard Children's Hospital, reveals that children prefer the taste of foods wrapped with the McDonald's logo over the taste of the very same foods wrapped in plain paper. Apparently, the McDonald's logo is perceived by the brain as an indicator of tastier food, and the children actually project that expectation onto the foods during their taste experience. Their brain actually believes the food tastes better! (Remember, the taste experience happens in your head, not on your tongue...)

Finally, we now understand why people keep going back to McDonald's even though the food is so nasty: It's the wrappers! Which brings me to my great idea: Why not just serve the wrappers and avoid using any meat ingredients, thereby saving millions of cows each year from the slaughterhouse?

They could just wrap up large pockets of air and change the names of the menu items to things like "Air McMuffin" and "Big Air." These names would be a hit with the customers, too, because after eating at McDonald's, people already experience "Big Air."

Freaky weather all over the world

What's with all the freaky flooding and strange weather hitting cities around the world? China, the U.K., Southeast Asia and now New York have all been devastated by floods recently, and several other U.S. cities are enduring freak weather events that are disrupting operations and playing havoc with crop production. People in the know are, of course, pointing to the obvious: Global warming. When you mess with the climate, the storms start becoming more severe and unpredictable. Before long, food production falls and you end up with skyrocketing prices at the grocery store. And while some areas are inundated with rain, others suffer severe droughts (like Australia right now).

The global warming deniers, however (the same group of people who still think the Earth is flat), insist these weather patterns are just random and have no correlation whatsoever with the fact that human beings are severely disrupting the natural climate balance on this planet. If you run into one of these people, try not to shove them into the fast-moving waters flowing down Main Street. (They can't swim.)

London bridges falling down? Try the U.S. infrastructure...

What the heck is happening to the infrastructure in the United States? Bridges and construction projects are now collapsing faster than Bush's poll ratings. The U.S. infrastructure is looking old and creaky, especially in comparison to other countries. As a friend recently mentioned to me, consider the railroad infrastructure: In Japan, they've got magnetic levitating trains that shuffle people and goods between cities at breathtaking speeds. In the U.S., we have a railroad infrastructure that looks (and sounds) like it was built in the 1940's. It's rickety, bumpy and absolutely nothing is levitated anywhere (except perhaps your last meal, and even that levitation is only momentary).

I think U.S. railroad tracks should all lead directly to the Smithsonian Museum of American History in Washington D.C., because that's where the U.S. railroad system actually belongs. And now we've got bridges falling down, highways collapsing, construction projects self-destructing and, gee, American engineers apparently did such a poor job constructing the World Trade Center Building #7 that the whole thing collapsed like a demolition job thanks to a single fire in one office of the building, we're told. (Click here to see the video.)

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