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Originally published August 10 2007

Health Update: McDonald's wrappers, antibiotics, freaky weather, creaky railroads and population control (satire)

by Mike Adams, the Health Ranger, NaturalNews Editor

A new study led by Dr. Thomas Robinson, the director of the Center for Healthy Weight at Packard Children's Hospital, reveals that children prefer the taste of foods wrapped with the McDonald's logo over the taste of the very same foods wrapped in plain paper. Apparently, the McDonald's logo is perceived by the brain as an indicator of tastier food, and the children actually project that expectation onto the foods during their taste experience. Their brain actually believes the food tastes better! (Remember, the taste experience happens in your head, not on your tongue...)

Finally, we now understand why people keep going back to McDonald's even though the food is so nasty: It's the wrappers! Which brings me to my great idea: Why not just serve the wrappers and avoid using any meat ingredients, thereby saving millions of cows each year from the slaughterhouse?

They could just wrap up large pockets of air and change the names of the menu items to things like "Air McMuffin" and "Big Air." These names would be a hit with the customers, too, because after eating at McDonald's, people already experience "Big Air."

Freaky weather all over the world

What's with all the freaky flooding and strange weather hitting cities around the world? China, the U.K., Southeast Asia and now New York have all been devastated by floods recently, and several other U.S. cities are enduring freak weather events that are disrupting operations and playing havoc with crop production. People in the know are, of course, pointing to the obvious: Global warming. When you mess with the climate, the storms start becoming more severe and unpredictable. Before long, food production falls and you end up with skyrocketing prices at the grocery store. And while some areas are inundated with rain, others suffer severe droughts (like Australia right now).

The global warming deniers, however (the same group of people who still think the Earth is flat), insist these weather patterns are just random and have no correlation whatsoever with the fact that human beings are severely disrupting the natural climate balance on this planet. If you run into one of these people, try not to shove them into the fast-moving waters flowing down Main Street. (They can't swim.)

London bridges falling down? Try the U.S. infrastructure...

What the heck is happening to the infrastructure in the United States? Bridges and construction projects are now collapsing faster than Bush's poll ratings. The U.S. infrastructure is looking old and creaky, especially in comparison to other countries. As a friend recently mentioned to me, consider the railroad infrastructure: In Japan, they've got magnetic levitating trains that shuffle people and goods between cities at breathtaking speeds. In the U.S., we have a railroad infrastructure that looks (and sounds) like it was built in the 1940's. It's rickety, bumpy and absolutely nothing is levitated anywhere (except perhaps your last meal, and even that levitation is only momentary).

I think U.S. railroad tracks should all lead directly to the Smithsonian Museum of American History in Washington D.C., because that's where the U.S. railroad system actually belongs. And now we've got bridges falling down, highways collapsing, construction projects self-destructing and, gee, American engineers apparently did such a poor job constructing the World Trade Center Building #7 that the whole thing collapsed like a demolition job thanks to a single fire in one office of the building, we're told. (Click here to see the video.)

Has America forgotten how to build stuff that doesn't break? Come to think of it, anybody who owns an American-made car already knows the answer to that...

The latest absurdity in Big Pharma America: Free antibiotics at the grocery store!

Publix grocery stores have announced a plan to give away free antibiotics to everyone! I'm not making this up: Any person with a prescription can now walk into a Publix store anywhere in the United States and get that prescription filled for free. The free offer covers amoxicillin, cephalexin, penicillin VK, erythromycin, ampicillin, sulfamethoxazole/trimethoprim, and ciprofoxacin.

This is fascinating marketing ploy to get more customers, but it makes me wonder why they didn't go all the way and simultaneously give out free anti-diarrhea medication to counter the effects of the antibiotics. And why won't Publix give out free probiotics? Wouldn't it be better to help people support healthy intestinal flora rather than handing out chemicals that destroy it?

I wonder where this whole trend is going. If Publix is giving away free antibiotics now, perhaps some other grocery chain will try to up the ante and give away free antidepressant drugs. Then another group will offer free diabetes meds with every purchase of donuts, or free anti-cholesterol drugs with your purchase of a fried cheese dinner. Before long, grocery stores will be filled with mind-numbed pharma zombies, lined up at the pharmacy with a bag of junk food in one hand and a prescription in the other.

That Publix would actually think it's a great idea to give away antibiotics for free is yet another astonishing a sign of the times in a world that seems to have sold its soul to the drug companies. This giveaway is their big P.R. stunt, and they actually think they're helping everyone by doing it! But I can think of a thousand things better to give away than antibiotics. How about free cod liver oil supplements for children? What about free prenatal vitamins? Or just free hugs? The world needs more free hugs.

And the Population Control Award goes to...

Health authorities in the U.S. announced this week that 100,000 lives could be saved each year if people used more sunscreen and got more frequent mammograms and prostate cancer screenings. This little stunt wins the Population Control Award of 2007 because the more people actually follow this truly bad advice, the smaller the population will be in 2008.

How so? Poisoning your body with toxic sunscreen chemicals while blocking nourishing sunlight that generates vitamin D (which reduces overall cancer risk by about 50%) is nothing short of health lunacy. Then exposing your breast tissue to mammogram radiation while calling it "prevention" makes about as much sense as smoking cigarettes to prevent Tuberculosis because the toxic cigarette smoke kills viruses. Mammography actually causes breast cancer, and as previous research has shown, ten women are ultimately harmed by breast cancer screening programs for every one woman who is helped or saved by it. (Click here to read the full story on that.)

I'm nearly convinced that U.S. public health authorities have suddenly become environmentalists and they're trying to reduce the human burden on the environment by simply reducing the size of the human population. The FDA's recent approval of another dangerous diabetes drug estimated to have already killed 80,000 Americans is yet another runner up in the Population Control Award category.

Another theory is that the U.S. government is so financially bankrupt that it can't afford to pay Medicare or Social Security benefits to anyone who reaches retirement age, so perhaps it's finding new ways to make sure people never reach retirement age! Keep 'em alive long enough to work 'em to death and collect their tax revenues, then knock 'em off before the benefits kick in!

It's not as far fetched as it sounds: Social Security payout benefits start at age 65, and the average lifespan of a U.S. citizens is currently 77.6 years. But within the next fifty years, that number is expected to fall to 72.6 years, meaning that after working your whole life paying taxes, health insurance and more taxes, you'll have a grand total of 7.6 years to enjoy a measly monthly check from the government before you keel over.

And that's assuming the U.S. government doesn't raise the retirement age (which they will) even further in order to save money. Before long, the retirement age will be higher than the average lifespan age, meaning that you'll actually have to wait until the afterlife to start collecting your retirement checks.

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