According to cognitive scientist Carmen Simon, who is also the author of the book Impossible to Ignore, there are three ways to be sure that you are thoroughly engaging the person you are speaking with.
The first step is by emphasizing your point three times – and backing it up with facts, of course. People are more likely to remember the things that you say if you use quantifiable or observable data to illustrate them, and not abstract or vague concepts, she says.
The second step is by asking them questions so that they will keep their interest in the conversation. By piquing their interest, you will keep them engaged, and they will have a better chance of remembering you and your conversation if they are not trying to keep from dozing out of boredom.
Finally, it would do you a lot of good to excite and motivate the person you’re hoping to make a lasting impression on. People always admire and remember the person they feel inspired by. By implanting in their brains the need to do something – create art, help other people, make changes to society – you can be sure that you will be remembered.
What ridiculously likable people are into doing
People often think that they can only be liked by swarms of people if they are in possession of a few character traits that unfortunately only belong to the lucky few – the irresistibly good-looking, the undeniably social, and the amazingly talented. However, this thinking is false.
According to Travis Bradberry, author of The Emotional Intelligence Quick Book, whenever he asks people about the characteristics of individuals that they are eager to work with, they replied that they often veered toward people who have qualities that completely fall under a person’s control, such as approachability, humility, and positivity.
Bradberry adds that being likable is a matter of emotional intelligence. He emphasizes that people like individuals who are genuine, because they can be trustworthy. It is difficult to ascribe emotions to people when you don’t know who they really are and how they really feel.
You can become likable if you concentrate on what makes you happy as a person, instead of trying to win people over by doing what you think will please them, he says.
Likable people also have an open mind, and are open to new ideas and help. They don’t pass preconceived notions and judgment and try to place themselves in other people’s shoes. They don’t necessarily accept every information that is handed to them, but keep an open mind to question its validity.
People don’t like those who would do anything for attention. Just being considerate is enough to make them put you in a high regard. Paying attention to other people also wins you points, as this shows you’re not self-absorbed.
You may also want to pay attention to your body language. This is because people unconsciously mirror the body language of the person they’re with. Positive forms of body language include maintaining eye contact, using an enthusiastic tone, leaning towards the person you are talking to, and uncrossing your arms, among others. Also, remember to smile.
Read more articles about emotional intelligence at Research.news.