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iPhone 7 users: How to add a 3.5mm headphone jack to your iPhone in less than 60 seconds (satire)

IPhone 7

(NaturalNews) If you're an iPhone owner and you've acquired the new iPhone 7, you may have noticed that the 3.5mm headphone jack is missing. Apple decided to forego the headphone jack and default to a bluetooth headset connection instead. Fortunately, a genius mechanical engineer has posted a YouTube video showing a solution.

This solution works especially well if you are a "progressive" who lives in a delusional fantasy land. It actually helps the modification of the phone work better. As shown in this YouTube Video, all you have to do is use a 3.5mm drill bit to drill out a new jack in the top of your iPhone 7.

Sadly, some people are not getting good results with this approach, and they are complaining that they still can't hear anything after plugging their headphones into the 3.5mm hole they've drilling into their iPhone 7. These people are leaving out a crucial second step, and that's what I'm hoping to address here.

The second step, not even mentioned in the video, is that you're supposed to change out the 3.5mm drill bit with a 1/2" drill bit and drill a hole in the side of your head, which lets the music in.

If you don't drill the 1/2" hole in your head, you'll never hear the music from your iPhone 7, you see. It's basic physics, as any doctor will confirm.

So please, watch this video below, and then follow up with the 1/2" drill bit to the side of your head. For best results, make sure you drill at least six inches into your head, because the auditory nerve is really, really deep in there.

Many users are reporting great success with this iPhone 7 modification technique. From an actual user: "I can't f**king believe you. I got an iPhone 7 for my birthday and I saw your video and I tried to use a drill to reopen the sealed headphone jack. It completely destroyed my phone and I had to make my mom go out and buy me a new one. She told me that she would only do it if I would mow the yard for the next few weeks. F**k you and your cancerous channel, I have to mow my yard because you are a f**king troll c*nt biscuit."

P.S. Yes, this article is satire. If you didn't realize that, you're not using a big enough drill bit for your head yet...

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In his laboratory research, Adams has made numerous food safety breakthroughs such as revealing rice protein products imported from Asia to be contaminated with toxic heavy metals like lead, cadmium and tungsten. Adams was the first food science researcher to document high levels of tungsten in superfoods. He also discovered over 11 ppm lead in imported mangosteen powder, and led an industry-wide voluntary agreement to limit heavy metals in rice protein products.

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