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Prince is dead, the Queen is 90, and men can now pee all over the women's restroom toilet seats at Target (satire)


Prince

(NaturalNews) It's true. Prince is dead. The era of Purple Rain has come to a sad end with the popular music star dying at the young age of just 57. He had recently cancelled two shows due to health problems, reports TMZ, raising questions of what actually caused his death.

For those of us who grew up in the 1980s, Prince's music was a mainstay of pop culture. He was obviously an extremely talented, pioneering musician with a unique view of the world, but I lament the fact that he didn't live long enough to join the rest of the country in peeing all over the women's toilet seats at Target stores.

You see, Target has just announced the most bizarre politically correct "inclusive" policy which allows men with penises to walk right into the women's restroom and pee standing, without even raising the toilet seat. They call it a "transgender friendly" policy, but what it really means is that, as the blogosphere explains, "dudes with d##ks" can walk right into women's restrooms and pee all over the toilet seats because women's restrooms do not have urinals. (Yes, biology matters when you're eliminating urine.)

Now, any pervert, weirdo, whacko or nut job can walk into a Target store and declare, "Hey, I'm suddenly a woman!" and urinate all over the women's toilet seats. Apparently, progressive women fully approve of all this, because they want to be "inclusive" which obviously includes squatting in some dude's clammy pee puddles.

Personally, I don't care if you think you're a man or a woman, but if you have a penis, use the damn urinal in the men's restroom. But thanks to Target's P.C. insanity, I guess now the women who use the restrooms at Target can count on enjoying the inclusiveness of splatter and bad aiming skills of distracted men who are so giddy at the thought of using the women's restroom that they can't hold still.

The word "target," after all, means aim for the water, not the rim. But who cares anymore when it's all devolved into an insane society of mentally ill conformists who can no longer make any sane judgment calls on anything at all. To relate a completely absurd example, one day soon, some deranged dufus who says he self-identifies as "Greedo the Gorilla Turd-Flinger" is going to smear the walls of the women's restroom with feces, after which Target will issue a nationwide press release declaring how "inclusive" they are to accept such progressive practices, stating something like, "We embrace people who self-identify as turd-flingers to use all our restrooms to dispose of their precious feces... and even the check-out lanes, for that matter!"

Clean-up on aisle nine! Clean-up on aisle nine!

The Queen is now 90... is she going to eat these kids now?

Finally, the Daily Mail UK is reporting that the Queen of England has turned 90.

They've even posted a photo of the Queen surrounded by children who look terrified... are they about to be eaten or something?

I've never seen a more staged family photo in my life. And even with the staging, they can't quite wipe the look of terror off the faces of some of these children. The photo was so staged that propagandists had to actually tell the public it wasn't staged. Via the Daily Mail:

The moment with Mia was completely spontaneous, it was not staged at all. She just picked up her great-granny's handbag and that was it,' they said. It was, they revealed, a 'happy, chaotic, warm afternoon'...

Click here to see the photo for yourself, and notice the spooky "infinite reflection" on the wall behind them, harkening of horror films... the entire scene looks like something out of "Beetlejuice."

Do these people really LIVE here? The scene has more creepy candles than a 1970's Frankenstein horror flick! Actually, I think they're stuck in that "Haunted House" ride in Orlando where the room keeps getting taller and taller while you're sinking into the depths of despair...

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In his laboratory research, Adams has made numerous food safety breakthroughs such as revealing rice protein products imported from Asia to be contaminated with toxic heavy metals like lead, cadmium and tungsten. Adams was the first food science researcher to document high levels of tungsten in superfoods. He also discovered over 11 ppm lead in imported mangosteen powder, and led an industry-wide voluntary agreement to limit heavy metals in rice protein products.

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