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Calif. Gov. Jerry Brown launching Frosted Mercury Flakes children's cereal to accompany vaccine mandate (satire) #SB277


Frosted Mercury Flakes

(NaturalNews) In order to make sure the children of California become just as brain damaged as the state's legislators, California Governor Jerry Brown has announced a plan to launch Frosted Mercury Flakes cereal that's fortified with the same health-promoting metals used in vaccines. (TWEET this story)

The cereal consists primarily of sugar-coated mercury flakes that are stabilized with aluminum and preserved with formaldehyde -- all the same ingredients still used in vaccines. It will be handed out for free to all California households. Households living in poverty or occupied by minorities will be given two boxes of the cereal.

"People who say Frosted Mercury Flakes is bad for human health are anti-science," said Gov. Brown in a televised statement. "The science is clear: if mercury and aluminum are safe enough to inject into children, they're also safe enough to eat for breakfast."

What Governor Brown won't say publicly, however, is that California's political leadership is intentionally trying to recreate Idiocracy while producing a new generation of autistic workers who can run the state's ever-expanding bureaucracy which consists primarily of mindless, repetitive tasks.

If children are allowed to grow up with fully-intact brains that function at a high level, they might question the idiocy of California's political leadership. "Brain-damaged children are the bedrock of California's political and economic future," insisted Gov. Brown. "Remember, these are tomorrow's voters! It is our duty to make sure they remain fully capable of limited thinking."

Frosted Mercury Flakes is manufactured by General Pills and a rumor is circulating that it will soon be available on the shelves at Whole Foods, right next to the brown rice protein.


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