How to become obese and diabetic in just 7 weeks: Olive Garden announces 'Never Ending Pasta Pass' for $100

Monday, September 08, 2014
by Mike Adams, the Health Ranger
Tags: Olive Garden, pasta, obesity

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(NaturalNews) Cough up a hundred bucks at the Olive Garden website and you too can participate in 7 weeks of gorging yourself on unlimited pasta. As a P.R. stunt, Olive Garden is selling 1000 "Never Ending Pasta Passes" that allow customers to consume unlimited quantities of pasta, bread, Coca-Cola drinks and salads over the next 7 weeks at any Olive Garden restaurant.

Health insurance is not included in the plan, so you'll have to drag yourself to the doctor to find out why you suddenly have type-2 diabetes and obesity.

I'm calling this the "Olive Garden Obesity Roadmap for America," and it's yet another sign of the total "consumption insanity" now descending upon America. Anyone who actually buys this never ending pasta pass will of course attempt to eat and drink the maximum quantities possible in order to maximize the perceived value of what they're buying. Furthermore, the fact that this unlimited consumption deal is time limited by a calendar date further encourages pass holders to gorge themselves to the max before the time runs out.

Remember, the Never Ending Pasta Pass runs out on November 9, 2014. But diabetes lasts forever unless you change your habits and reverse the cause.

It's pretty clear that gorging yourself on processed pasta, Coca-Cola and bread is a surefire recipe for weight gain, clinical obesity and type-2 diabetes. In a nation where over half the population is already overweight, is an Olive Garden pasta feeding frenzy really what America needs right now? Sure, they include salads in the offer, but most people are going to opt for the pasta due to its higher perceived value.

And thanks to the socialized medicine structure now in place across America, aren't taxpayers footing the medical bills for these people who eat themselves into a state of clinical disease? Who's going to cover the costs of their diabetes medications and doctor visits? You and I, of course, because these costs are all being shifted to taxpayers.

Metaphorical pigs at the trough of the factory food industry

With stunts like this, the food industry increasingly depicts Americans as pigs at the trough, huffing down whatever factory food slop is put in front of them. Honestly, seven weeks of endless Olive Garden pasta and Coke sounds to me like seven weeks of the s%#+s and at least another hundred bucks spent on toilet paper.

At what point is endless Olive Garden pasta and Coke really more of a form of self-torture? Or even medical self-mutilation?

Granted, nobody is forcing anyone to sign up for the Never Ending Pasta Pass... it's all voluntary. And it's a pretty clever P.R. stunt on the part of Olive Garden, by the way, which has managed to get its name mentioned everywhere thanks to this bizarre offering. And I do have to admit that Olive Garden food, if you focus on the salads, can theoretically be a whole lot healthier than most other fast food restaurants. But 7 weeks of unlimited pasta and Coke sounds like a Fraternity hazing ritual or worse.

We have all dropped far down the rabbit hole, folks. The world is becoming more strange by the day, and as human civilization plummets toward ecological and economic collapse, we're going to see more and more bizarre news on a daily basis. Now some other restaurant chain is probably calculating how they can top this stunt. Maybe we'll see Golden Corral offer "10 weeks of unlimited bioengineered pig slop for four monthly installments of just $39.95! Order now!"

I have a serious question in all this: Isn't it highly irresponsible for a restaurant chain to actually encourage 1,000 people to gorge themselves on processed pasta and Coke? What if one of these 1,000 people dies from a heart attack in the next 7 weeks? Is Olive Garden to blame, in part? It's a conversation our society desperately needs to consider.

In the mean time, I think I'll actually buy a Never Ending Pasta Pass and give it to Robert Scott Bell as a practical joke...

Robert has since replied to my offer as follows: "I was so wondering where I was going to eat for the next 7 weeks."