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Health Update: Grazing Animals, Uninsured Americans and the California Hospital Strike (satire)

Friday, August 29, 2008
by Mike Adams, the Health Ranger
Editor of NaturalNews.com (See all articles...)
Tags: hospitals, health news, Natural News

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(NaturalNews) A Google Earth study released this week reveals that grazing animals tend to align themselves with the Earth's magnetic field, explaining why they often seem to face the same direction when grazing in fields. This is fascinating science, for sure, but not nearly as fascinating as a similar study that found politicians running for office tend to align themselves with corporate interests.

Apparently there is some invisible force inside politicians that makes them feel strangely compelled to fall in line with corporate interests when grazing on campaign contributions.

The voters, for their part, tend to align themselves with whomever promises the most handouts, which is exactly what got us into this Fannie Mae / Freddie Mac mortgage fallout mess in the first place. Now, the voters think money can simply be created out of nothing and used to pay off all the bad loans, bad debt and trillions in voodoo economics derivates favored by bankers who do math like Enron executives.

To oblige this fiscal delusion, the Fed has decided to do exactly what the herd demands: Create money from nothing, and use increasingly worthless dollars to bail out rich bankers while the working poor lose the purchasing value of their hard-earned cash.

Number of uninsured Americans drops dead

The mainstream media is reporting this week that the number of uninsured Americans has dropped. That's because they're dropping dead from lack of basic health care.

What they didn't report is whether the number of LIVING people who have health insurance has increased (it hasn't). I suppose next, they'll propose that everybody without health insurance should be left to die, thereby achieving a health insurance rate of 100 percent!

Drug companies use the same tricky statistical fraud when reporting the results of their drug trials: People who die are magically "removed" from the study, and only those who managed to survive the drugs are counted!

The common mineral that prevents half of all cerebral palsy

A new study in the New England Journal of Medicine reveals that giving magnesium sulfate to pregnant women drops the risk of their newborns having cerebral palsy by half. Drug-pushing doctors, of course, rushed to the medical journals and declared that nobody should actually be given magnesium sulfate (a common mineral supplement) until "more studies are done..." a common delaying tactic used to prevent the use of lifesaving minerals.

This is the way conventional medicine enforces nutritional deficiencies in pregnant women: Keep the minerals away and discredit the research. Use drugs, drugs and more drugs to treat pregnant women and their babies with conditions that are almost universally caused by nutritional imbalances in the first place. It keeps the repeat business rate a lot higher -- and more profitable!

Hospital strike saves lives

California hospital workers are on strike today. The death rate in California has suddenly plummeted. It has been so effective at reducing deaths that observers are proposing hospital workers stay on strike permanently as a new system of "health care."

It will cost you, though: Doctors are already demanding extra pay for all the hours they don't work, because it gives them too much free time to go golfing and buy rare wines, and some of those rare wines get really expensive...

But hey, why not? The U.S. government already pays farmers to not grow crops. Why not pay doctors to NOT practice medicine? In most cases, the patients would be better off anyway.

Every time the doctors go on strike, the morgue empties out. But as soon as the doctors punch back on the clock, a death rate spike immediately follows. Hmmm...

Of course, the people dying the youngest are the doctors themselves! Kinda makes you wonder why people turn to these folks with issues related to life and death, doesn't it?

I know the answer: Because they're following the herd, and they've mysteriously aligned themselves with television advertising that absurdly promises lasting health if you'll only take their little patented pills.

It's been proven with pictures on Google Earth: Satellite photos show the majority of Americans all face the same direction...

... the direction of their television set!

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About the author:Mike Adams (aka the "Health Ranger") is a best selling author (#1 best selling science book on Amazon.com) and a globally recognized scientific researcher in clean foods. He serves as the founding editor of NaturalNews.com and the lab science director of an internationally accredited (ISO 17025) analytical laboratory known as CWC Labs. There, he was awarded a Certificate of Excellence for achieving extremely high accuracy in the analysis of toxic elements in unknown water samples using ICP-MS instrumentation. Adams is also highly proficient in running liquid chromatography, ion chromatography and mass spectrometry time-of-flight analytical instrumentation.

Adams is a person of color whose ancestors include Africans and Native American Indians. He's also of Native American heritage, which he credits as inspiring his "Health Ranger" passion for protecting life and nature against the destruction caused by chemicals, heavy metals and other forms of pollution.

Adams is the founder and publisher of the open source science journal Natural Science Journal, the author of numerous peer-reviewed science papers published by the journal, and the author of the world's first book that published ICP-MS heavy metals analysis results for foods, dietary supplements, pet food, spices and fast food. The book is entitled Food Forensics and is published by BenBella Books.

In his laboratory research, Adams has made numerous food safety breakthroughs such as revealing rice protein products imported from Asia to be contaminated with toxic heavy metals like lead, cadmium and tungsten. Adams was the first food science researcher to document high levels of tungsten in superfoods. He also discovered over 11 ppm lead in imported mangosteen powder, and led an industry-wide voluntary agreement to limit heavy metals in rice protein products.

In addition to his lab work, Adams is also the (non-paid) executive director of the non-profit Consumer Wellness Center (CWC), an organization that redirects 100% of its donations receipts to grant programs that teach children and women how to grow their own food or vastly improve their nutrition. Through the non-profit CWC, Adams also launched Nutrition Rescue, a program that donates essential vitamins to people in need. Click here to see some of the CWC success stories.

With a background in science and software technology, Adams is the original founder of the email newsletter technology company known as Arial Software. Using his technical experience combined with his love for natural health, Adams developed and deployed the content management system currently driving NaturalNews.com. He also engineered the high-level statistical algorithms that power SCIENCE.naturalnews.com, a massive research resource featuring over 10 million scientific studies.

Adams is well known for his incredibly popular consumer activism video blowing the lid on fake blueberries used throughout the food supply. He has also exposed "strange fibers" found in Chicken McNuggets, fake academic credentials of so-called health "gurus," dangerous "detox" products imported as battery acid and sold for oral consumption, fake acai berry scams, the California raw milk raids, the vaccine research fraud revealed by industry whistleblowers and many other topics.

Adams has also helped defend the rights of home gardeners and protect the medical freedom rights of parents. Adams is widely recognized to have made a remarkable global impact on issues like GMOs, vaccines, nutrition therapies, human consciousness.

In addition to his activism, Adams is an accomplished musician who has released over a dozen popular songs covering a variety of activism topics.

Click here to read a more detailed bio on Mike Adams, the Health Ranger, at HealthRanger.com.

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