signs

Top 10 signs you're subconsciously experiencing negativity from your past

Saturday, September 07, 2013 by: Mike Bundrant
Tags: living in the past, subconscious, mind games

eTrust Pro Certified

Delicious Pin It
(NaturalNews) I remember, 25 years ago, I interviewed several therapists and agreed to hire them to help me upon satisfaction of one condition - that we do NOT mention my past.

One therapist was curious, "What if your past is affecting your life today?"

"What if it isn't?" I snapped back. "Then we just wasted time talking about something that doesn't matter. Either you can help me feel better or not, so can you?"

He declined.

I was 23 years old, so that's understandable. In fact, developmentally speaking, it makes for 20-somethings to move away from the past, full speed ahead into the future.

As we grow older, more experienced and established into adult life, however, it becomes important for most people to stop denying the impact of the past and really let go.

You cannot let go of what you don't realize you are hanging onto.

So, let's look at the signs of a past that still haunts the present, causing unnecessary emotional stress and negativity.

Here are my top 10 signs that your past is still affecting you:

1. You refuse to discuss it

If you are ok with the positive and negative in your past, you don't mind discussing it, when and where appropriate.

Your romantic partner, therapist, good friends and relatives who care about you...these are all people with whom you could be sharing your past and the lessons learned.

2. You live with those old, familiar feelings

Vague feelings of pain and grief, resentment and fear still haunt people who are attached to the past. These unresolved feelings can appear anytime, in response to an outside situation or to your own thoughts.

For me it was a consistent, queasy feeling of dread right in my gut, as if something were about to go wrong, continually. Regardless of how successful I was, I still felt uneasy most of the time.

You're probably very familiar with these feelings, as they have been with you for a long, long time. They won't go away until you emotionally square yourself with the past.

3. You can't be yourself around your family of origin

When you visit family, you hold back who you are by conforming to the old family expectations. This may involve remaining quiet or acting out. The point is, you act differently or feel you cannot be who you are in everyday life.

It's a sign that you are conforming to old expectations, usually out of fear of disapproval, criticism or ridicule.

4. You seek approval or don't think for yourself in general

Sometimes the family's disapproval generalizes. When it does, you project your fear of disapproval onto other people; friends, romantic partners and even strangers.

This general fear of disapproval has roots in the original family dynamic.

5. You treat your kids like your parents treated to you

All too common, we treat our children in the negative ways we were treated. Amazingly, we can even recognize it when it happens, know it is wrong, and still do it. This is how influential the past can be.

6. You married your parent of the opposite sex

Not literally. In most cases, people marry someone who acts like the parent of the opposite sex. If dad was emotionally unavailable, a young woman marries an emotionally unavailable man.

If mom was controlling or a nag, the young man marries a controlling, nagging woman.

These are signs that you are still trying to resolve the old family situation through your present life. So often, we justify this choice by telling ourselves, "I can change him/her."

7. You deny and repress emotions

Human beings are emotional by nature. When those emotions are uncomfortable, we tend to block them from expression, thinking that we can avoid the pain.

This strategy backfires. When you repress emotions, you hang on to them. When you express them fully, it is easier to let them go. ??Denying, ignoring, and repressing negative emotions creates an attachment to those emotions.

8. You have little or no control over your impulses

Impulses come from emotions. When you have repressed emotions lurking under the surface, you still react to them. It's like carrying around a reservoir of fuel that is just waiting for a spark to set it off.

Out of control tempers, anxiety and other impulsive reactions stem from unresolved emotions. This leads to poor decisions, addictive behaviors and regret.

9. You feel restrained or trapped, but don't know why

When the family of origin is emotionally overwhelming, sometimes we set hard rules for ourselves that create limitations.

I must play it safe in life.
I'll never speak in front of a group.
I am not cut out to lead, so I never will.
I'll never trust anyone.
I'll always keep a low profile.


We intend these rules to protect us, but they can end up cutting off the healthiest choices. Interestingly, these rules can determine our choices whether we are consciously aware of them or not.

10. You repeat the same old mistakes

Repeating the same mistakes over and over is a sure sign of a negative attachment. Making the same poor decisions repeatedly is a major red flag that you have not resolved something in your history.

Must you revisit the past in order to heal?

No. Although some people do benefit by identifying and experiencing past memories, the key to healing is in making new choices today.

You need to recognize the influence of the past and learn how it is still affecting you. Only then can you make conscious decisions that take you in a new and different direction.

Getting out of denial about the influence of the past is a huge hurdle. Only a small percentage of the population has really connected the dots and become someone that lives beyond old family expectations.

This doesn't mean the process is complicated. It's not. Most people's ego simply gets in the way. Don't allow denial to keep you from recognizing the negative influence of the past, or you may never move beyond it.

To learn more about how negative attachments create self-sabotage and what to do about it, watch this unique, free video.

If you like this article, then like my Facebook Page to keep up with all my writing.

About the author:
Watch the free video The AHA! Process: An End to Self-Sabotage and discover the lost keys to personal transformation and emotional well-being that have been suppressed by mainstream mental health for decades.

The information in this video has been called the missing link in mental health and personal development. In a world full of shallow, quick-fix techniques, second rate psychology and pharmaceutical takeovers, real solutions have become nearly impossible to find. Click here to watch the presentation that will turn your world upside down.

Mike Bundrant is co-founder of the iNLP Center and host of Mental Health Exposed, a Natural News Radio program.

Follow Mike on Facebook for daily personal development tips.

Get breaking news alerts on GMOs, fluoride, superfoods, natural cures and more...
Join over four million monthly readers. Email privacy 100% protected. Unsubscribe at any time.


Have comments on this article? Post them here:

comments powered by Disqus

Take Action: Support NaturalNews.com

Email this article to a friend

Permalink to this article:

Reprinting this article: Non-commercial use OK, cite NaturalNews.com with clickable link.

Embed article link: (copy HTML code below):
Most Popular
Today | Week | Month | Year

See all Top Headlines...



GET SHOW DETAILS
+ a FREE GIFT

Now Available at ShopNaturalNews.com

O3 Essentials OraJuvenate™
A powerful, cleansing dental cream for maximum oral/dental health.
New Cancer Solutions
Over 3 hours of content covering today’s best cancer tests, how to kill cancer cells and the best diets and exercise routines.
Freeze-Dried 100% Organic Whole Corn
Our freeze-drying method preserves taste, texture and nutrients better than any other food preservation method ever invented.
Fenix TK35 Flashlight
Tough, waterproof, extremely bright and it’s touted to throw an 800+ lumen beam more than 1,000 feet into the night.
Inca Treasure Smoothie Pack
This pack of our four most popular superfoods from South America is the perfect combo pack for smoothie lovers.
Pink Himalayan Salt
This salt delivers significant levels of magnesium, zinc and selenium, with trace levels of dozens of other elements.
Pinhole Glasses - Aviator Style
Pinhole glasses are becoming famous for helping people improve their vision without the risks of laser surgery.
Oxy-Rich Facial Serum
O3 Essentials Jojoba Oxy-Rich Facial Serum is cellular nourishment for your skin. Helps smooth fine lines while enhancing tissue elasticity.
Freeze-Dried 100% Blackberry Halves
Our freeze-dried blackberry halves are grown in Serbia under strict organic standards.

Also on NaturalNews:

Health Ranger Videos
Activist music
CounterThink Cartoons
Food documentaries
FREE Special Reports
Podcasts
Colloidal Silver

Advertise with NaturalNews...

Support NaturalNews Sponsors:

Advertise with NaturalNews...

Most Popular Stories

Flu shot kills 19-year-old, but vaccine industry still has total immunity against lawsuits
Here's a nutty fact: Eating more tree nuts lowers the risk of all-cause death by up to 20 percent
Six important facts you're not being told about lost Malaysia Airlines Flight 370
Malaysia Airlines Flight 370 now clearly a government cover-up: All evidence contradicts official story
10 other companies that use the same Subway yoga mat chemical in their buns
BLM fracking racket exposed! Armed siege and cattle theft from Bundy ranch really about fracking leases
High-dose vitamin C injections shown to annihilate cancer
U.S. treating meat with ammonia, bleach and antibiotics to kill the '24-hour sickness'
USDA to allow U.S. to be overrun with contaminated chicken from China
Vaccine fraud exposed: Measles and mumps making a huge comeback because vaccines are designed to fail, say Merck virologists
Battle for humanity nearly lost: global food supply deliberately engineered to end life, not nourish it
Diet soda, aspartame linked to premature deaths in women

25 Amazing Facts About Food

This FREE downloadable report unveils a collection of astonishing and little-known facts about the food we eat very day. Click here to read it now...

 

Resveratrol and its Effects on Human Health and Longevity - Myth or Miracle.

Unlock the secrets of cellular health with the "miracle" nutrient Resveratrol Click here to read it now...

 

Nutrition Can Save America

FREE online report shows how we can save America through a nutrition health care revolution. "Eating healthy is patriotic!" Click here to read it now...

The Healing Power of Sunlight and Vitamin D

In this exclusive interview, Dr. Michael Holick reveals fascinating facts on how vitamin D is created and used in the human body to ward off chronic diseases like cancer, osteoporosis, mental disorders and more. Click here to read it now...

Vaccines: Get the Full Story

The International Medical Council on Vaccination has released, exclusively through NaturalNews.com, a groundbreaking document containing the signatures of physicians, brain surgeons and professors, all of which have signed on to a document stating that vaccines pose a significant risk of harm to the health of children. Click here to read it now...

Health Ranger Storable Organics

GMO-free, chemical-free foods and superfoods for long-term storage and preparedness. See selection at www.StorableOrganics.com



Recommended Resources On:

Natural News trends
Health Ranger news
Natural News GMOs
Mike Adams tracker
Natural News photos
Natural News Global
Natural News in focus
Natural News connect
Natural News shocking stories
Natural News radar
GMOs
Quackwatch
Vaccines
Health freedom
Dr. Paul Offit

This site is part of the Natural News Network © 2014 All Rights Reserved. Privacy | Terms All content posted on this site is commentary or opinion and is protected under Free Speech. Truth Publishing International, LTD. is not responsible for content written by contributing authors. The information on this site is provided for educational and entertainment purposes only. It is not intended as a substitute for professional advice of any kind. Truth Publishing assumes no responsibility for the use or misuse of this material. Your use of this website indicates your agreement to these terms and those published here. All trademarks, registered trademarks and servicemarks mentioned on this site are the property of their respective owners.

eTrust Pro Certified Android app on Google Play

Sign up for the FREE Natural News Email Newsletter

Receive breaking news on GMOs, vaccines, fluoride, radiation protection, natural cures, food safety alerts and interviews with the world's top experts on natural health and more.

Join over 7 million monthly readers of NaturalNews.com, the internet's No. 1 natural health news site. (Source: Alexa.com)

Your email address *

Please enter the code you see above*

No Thanks

Already have it and love it!

Natural News supports and helps fund these organizations:

* Required. Once you click submit, we will send you an email asking you to confirm your free registration. Your privacy is assured and your information is kept confidential. You may unsubscribe at anytime.