stage magician

Obama administration requires stage magician to submit 32-page disaster plan for his rabbit

Saturday, July 27, 2013 by: J. D. Heyes
Tags: USDA, bureaucratic government, stage magician

eTrust Pro Certified

Most Viewed Articles
Popular on Facebook
CDC issues flu vaccine apology: this year's vaccine doesn't work!
The five biggest lies about Ebola being pushed by government and mass media
Ultraviolet light robot kills Ebola in two minutes; why doesn't every hospital have one of these?
Tetanus vaccines found spiked with sterilization chemical to carry out race-based genocide against Africans
Biologist explains how marijuana causes tumor cells to commit suicide
Companies begin planting microchips under employees' skin
The best way to help your body protect itself against Ebola (or any virus or bacteria)
NJ cops bust teenagers shoveling snow without a permit
Russia throws down the gauntlet: energy supply to Europe cut off; petrodollar abandoned as currency war escalates
McDonald's in global profit free fall as people everywhere increasingly reject chemically-altered toxic fast food
W.H.O. contradicts CDC, admits Ebola can spread via coughing, sneezing and by touching contaminated surfaces
Top ten things you need to do NOW to protect yourself from an uncontrolled Ebola outbreak
Chemotherapy kills cancer patients faster than no treatment at all
FDA targets Dr. Bronner's Magic Soaps for sharing health benefits of coconut oil
U2's Bono partners with Monsanto to destroy African agriculture with GMOs
Why flu shots are the greatest medical fraud in history
Governments seize colloidal silver being used to treat Ebola patients, says advocate
Flu vaccine kills 13 in Italy; death toll rises

(NaturalNews) The age of reason is over, as we know it, destroyed by an out-of-control and perpetually growing federal bureaucracy that has morphed into a fourth branch of government.

How bad has it gotten? Would you believe that the bureaucracy is so insane that even magicians have to file a "disaster plan" with the government for animals they use in their act.

As the saying goes, you can't make this stuff up. Hat tip to The American Dream website:

Central planning in this country is getting completely and totally out of control. These days, you can hardly do anything without running into a suffocating web of red tape. For example, a small-time magician from Missouri that does magic shows for kids was absolutely horrified when he learned that the Obama administration is requiring him to submit a 32 page "disaster plan" for the rabbit that he uses in his shows.

Plan for 'flooding,' 'earthquakes,' 'intentional attack'

Even Marty the Magician (his real name is Marty Hahne, from Springfield, Mo.) can't escape the stupid that is our federal government bureaucracy.

"I did a 10-minute bit at the start of my show last night talking about my rabbit situation," Hahne said in an interview with Canada's National Post newspaper, in reference to a July 17 show. "It was better than any magic trick I could ever pull off. People can't believe the story."

According to the paper, the U.S. Department of Agriculture requires the rabbit to be "licensed." If that isn't goofy enough, as we stated earlier, the department also requires Hahne to have a "disaster plan" for his bunny, Charlie.

Not that the bunny would know any difference, but the USDA ordered Hahne to have his plan in place by July 29, in case any of these things happen: "flooding," "earthquake," "landslide/mudslide/avalanche," "wildfire," "intentional attack," to name a few examples.

"My country is broke," Hahne said. "We are out of money, and now the government is spending time, and money, worrying about an emergency plan for a bunny rabbit."

The stupid began long ago. Per the Post:

Before there ever was a plan, or a need for one, there was the rabbit license. Charlie, Casey's predecessor, was the backbone of Marty's shtick when he was working the library circuit around Monett, Mo., in 2005.

"I was booked for the entire week to do 10 libraries," Mr. Hahne says. "To promote the show, the library ran a picture of me holding a bunny rabbit. There was a United States Department of Agriculture inspector living in the town, and she came to my show.

"I didn't even use Charlie in that particular show, but she busted me, anyway. I did the show. And moms always come up to thank me afterward, and kids come up to shake my hand. And this inspector barged through the crowd and stuck a badge in my face and asked to see my license."

Annual process, annual expense, annual stupid

Understandably confused, Hahne asked, "What license?" Replied the inspector, "For your rabbit."

"I told her I could understand needing a licence if I was using tigers, but I was using a bunny rabbit, a three-pound bunny rabbit," Hahne says.

Not so, he learned. Even little bunnies in magic shows need to have government approval; the USDA must sign off on it and, of course, it's not an easy process. It involves multiple forms, getting Charlie in to see a veterinarian, and other processes. And, of course, it's never-ending; the process is annual, and it costs Hahne about a hundred bucks a pop.

That's not all. With USDA "approval" comes the ever-present threat of surprise annual inspections. The point? To ensure that his government-approved rabbit is properly housed.

Do you still wonder why our government and our country are in the shape we are in?


Join over four million monthly readers. Your privacy is protected. Unsubscribe at any time.
comments powered by Disqus
Take Action: Support by linking back to this article from your website

Permalink to this article:

Embed article link: (copy HTML code below):

Reprinting this article:
Non-commercial use OK, cite with clickable link.

Follow Natural News on Facebook, Twitter, Google Plus, and Pinterest

Colloidal Silver

Advertise with NaturalNews...

Support NaturalNews Sponsors:

Advertise with NaturalNews...


Sign up for the FREE Natural News Email Newsletter

Receive breaking news on GMOs, vaccines, fluoride, radiation protection, natural cures, food safety alerts and interviews with the world's top experts on natural health and more.

Join over 7 million monthly readers of, the internet's No. 1 natural health news site. (Source:

Your email address *

Please enter the code you see above*

No Thanks

Already have it and love it!

Natural News supports and helps fund these organizations:

* Required. Once you click submit, we will send you an email asking you to confirm your free registration. Your privacy is assured and your information is kept confidential. You may unsubscribe at anytime.