(NaturalNews) The health care reform bill just passed by the US House of Representatives is a walloping 1,990 pages weighing 19.6 pounds. As NaturalNews previously reported (
http://www.naturalnews.com/027427_health_care_paper.html), it required the destruction of 319 trees just to print the 1,335 copies produced by the U.S. Government Printing Office for members of Congress.
Sadly, this bill is a complete waste of trees. Rather than reforming a sick care system into a true health care system, it simply makes
sick care mandatory so that everyone has to pay
money to the very industries (Big Pharma in particular) that are keeping the
American people diseased and bankrupt.
But the
health care reform bill isn't completely useless. There are at least a dozen other uses for these 1,990 pages. Here are the top twelve:
#1) Place the 1,990 pages in the waiting room of your local doctor's office for the reading enjoyment of all the patients waiting to be diagnosed with fictitious psychiatric disorders.
#2) Stuff them into the Large Hadron Collider to see if the sheer mass of all these pages might have the ability to open a portal to an alternate universe where
health care isn't run by crooks and idiots.
#3) Tie the mass of pages above the front door to your house, setting a trap that will knock an intruder unconscious (and send him to the hospital where he will be denied emergency treatment because he has no
health insurance...)
#4) Place the 1,990 pages in a large steel vat, then add some bacteria to turn the wood pulp into ethanol to fuel the private jets chartered by pharmaceutical company CEOs.
#5) Get the U.S.
government to air drop the papers from planes flying over Iraq, then have President Obama explain they're "peacekeeping pamphlets." (Because who can fight when they're sick and diseased anyway?)
#6) Recycle the
paper fibers into the manufacture of a large number of composting toilets, then ship them to
Congress to send a message that legislators are full of something and need some place to put it.
#7) Give away one copy of the 1,990-page bill with each H1N1
vaccine shot. That way, when people still get sick from influenza because the vaccine doesn't work, they have something to read while they're spending $1,000 a day for a hospital bed.
#8) Grind up the pages, mix with
chicken poop and feed them to cattle. Chicken poop is already fed to cattle, so a little printed paper could hardly be any worse, right? (
http://www.naturalnews.com/027414_disease_cows_mad_cow.html) Or better, grind them up and sprinkle the bits into the food at the Congressional cafeteria in order to make these lawmakers literally
eat their own words!#9) Have all the paper pressed into cards, then have the cards delivered back to the US House of Representatives, thereby making it a
House of Cards.
#10) Require any legislator who wants to vote for the bill to first try to lift it over their heads and hold it there for 60 seconds. If they can carry the bill, then the bill carries.
#11) Recycle all the pages into consumer
toilet paper -- but don't bleach out the words. This way, consumers who buy the "
green" recycled Congressional toilet paper product can notice the printed words and see exactly where their tax dollars are going.
#12) Dye all the paper green, cut the pages into the size of dollar bills, and send them to the Federal Reserve to pay for the $1 trillion cost for the new health care bill. The U.S. government is going to pay using counterfeit money anyway. Why not make the dollar bills out of the legislative bills?
The bottom line: Universal health care is a noble goal, and it's one that
NaturalNews supports, but
universal sick care is a disastrous concept. Rather than reforming America's
health care system, the bill that just passed the House will only mandate participation in a failed, monopolistic health care scam that fleeces the People of their hard-earned money while simultaneously preventing them from learning the truth about
natural remedies.
This health care bill will only accelerate the financial demise of the United States of
America. And even while spending a trillion dollars over the next ten years,
it will create no net improvement in the health of the American people.
Spend more money, get less in return. It's business as usual in an economic increasingly run by Big Government.
About the author: Mike Adams is a natural health researcher, author and award-winning journalist with a strong interest in personal health, the environment and the power of nature to help us all heal He has authored more than 1,800 articles and dozens of reports, guides and interviews on natural health topics, reaching millions of readers with information that is saving lives and improving personal health around the world. Adams is an independent journalist with strong ethics who does not get paid to write articles about any product or company. In 2010, Adams created NaturalNews.TV, a natural living video sharing site featuring thousands of user videos on foods, fitness, green living and more. He also launched an online retailer of environmentally-friendly products (BetterLifeGoods.com) and uses a portion of its profits to help fund non-profit endeavors. He's also the founder and CEO of a well known email mail merge software developer whose software, 'Email Marketing Director,' currently runs the NaturalNews email subscriptions. Adams also serves as the executive director of the Consumer Wellness Center, a non-profit consumer protection group, and practices nature photography, Capoeira, martial arts and organic gardening. Known by his callsign, the 'Health Ranger,' Adams posts his missions statements, health statistics and health photos at www.HealthRanger.org
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Sunday, November 08, 2009
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