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Health Roundup: Gambling with drugs, Squaretrade failures and counterfeit drugs (satire)

Friday, March 31, 2006 by: Mike Adams (see all articles by this author) | Key concepts: counterfeit drugs, prescription drugs and pharmacies

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The following true story is almost too hilarious to hear sitting down. Prepare to leave your seat. A retired doctor from Austin, Texas named Max Wells is suing multiple drug companies and casinos for $14 million to recoup losses he suffered as a result of -- get this -- prescription drug side effects. The Parkinson's drug he was on, the lawsuit claims, causes compulsive gambling behavior. Dr. Wells, it turns out, was so compulsive that he coughed up $14 million in gambling losses before finally being taken off the medicine.

Any time you take prescription drugs, of course, you're gambling with your health. But Dr. Wells takes the concept to a whole new level. Interestingly, losing $14 million did not bankrupt the man. Can you guess why? Because he's a retired doctor, and he apparently socked away quite a nice sum of cash treating other people with conventional medicine. I wonder how much money he made from Big Pharma? The irony is almost unbearable...

So what about all the people this doctor may have promoted drugs to over the years? Shouldn't they also get to sue somebody for their side effects? Their losses probably didn't reach $14 million -- because few people make the money that doctors make -- but they may be substantial nonetheless.

It turns out Dr. Max Wells is probably right, by the way, in blaming his compulsive behavior on prescription drugs. A Mayo Clinic study on Parkinson's patients taking the same drugs (Requip and Mirapex) also developed compulsive behaviors. See http://www.mayoclinic.org/news2005-rst/2925.html

These drugs really do mess with your head. Casinos would be smart (and no more evil than they are already) to offer free prescriptions to all senior citizens who walk through the door, thereby replacing Parkinsonian shaking with casino shakedowns. "Free drugs for all gamblers!" Sounds like Vegas to me. After all, they already serve free drinks to anyone foolish enough to drink and gamble.

All of this serves as yet one more reason to ditch prescription drugs and switch to natural medicine (healing through foods, herbs, acupuncture, chiropractic, and other modalities). No natural food or herb has ever turned a patient into a compulsive gambler and caused them to lose $14 million. Except, perhaps, tapioca pudding, but that's only due to the sugar content (which makes children and adults alike commit senseless acts of indulgence).

Squaretrade is less useful than expired pharmaceuticals

Squaretrade is touted as a service that's supposed to "make online shopping smarter, safer and easier." It's also a place where online pharmacies can acquire some sort of semi-authoritative license number that's supposed to mean they're legitimate online pharmacies. (Of course, I keep getting spammed from an online pharmacy that claims to be Squaretrade certified, so don't put too much faith in this system.)

For the past week, I've been trying to log in to Squaretrade.com to verify the pharmacy license number of an online seller of prescription drugs. It turns out that Squaretrade is just flat broken and it keeps sending me through an endless eBay loop that redirects you back to Squaretrade.com where you get to start all over. In other words, the whole system is utterly useless and apparently serves no purpose whatsoever other than to waste the time of web surfers who are under the misimpression that Squaretrade has some actual purpose.

The Squaretrade website is still up, but nobody's home. At least not on my web browser.

Counterfeit drugs just as safe as genuine drugs?

The FDA is clamping down on sales of counterfeit drugs, which it says don't work and contain dangerous ingredients. Coincidentally, the same is true for genuine prescription drugs, which cost ten times as much. With genuine prescription drugs now killing at least 100,000 Americans each year due to fatal side effects, the sale of counterfeit drugs with inert ingredients may actually be REDUCING patient deaths.

But that's not good enough for the FDA, which wants to protect the profits of drug companies by outlawing overseas drug purchases, banning drugs from Canada, and discrediting online pharmacies (many of which are, indeed, completely bogus). Of course, buying drugs from your local pharmacy doesn't guarantee you're getting the real deal either, as drug wholesalers (the companies that supply local pharmacies) also trade in counterfeit products.

The only way to know you're getting REAL medicine, it turns out, is to eat raw, fresh plants. Because edible plants can't be faked, and they just happen to contain powerful medicines (like anthocyanins) that are 100% compatible with the human body. No prescription needed, either, and common edible plants won't cause a heart attack and kill you like many drugs.

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