printable article

Originally published February 14 2015

Students told to use canned food for self-defense by hurling cans at gunmen

by J. D. Heyes

(NaturalNews) Some parents are fuming, others are shaking their heads in disbelief, and still others are confused over instructions given to students at an Alabama middle school regarding how they can react to an active shooter inside the institution.

In short, students are being told to use a can of corn, beans, carrots or whatever and heave it at the attacker. Talk about your ultimate "food fight."

Officials at W. F. Burns Middle School asked that students bring a can of food with them to school, so that they may use it in self-defense, "in case an intruder enters their classroom."

Lost on the school principal and vice principal, each of whom signed the letter to parents, was the incredibly naive and unorthodox nature of their request, but they nevertheless assured parents that their plan is certainly a viable option for kids.

"Assault cans"?

The letter stated, in part:

The procedure will be the same as we have done in the past with the addition of arming our students with a canned food item. We realize at first this may seem odd; however, it is a practice that would catch an intruder off-guard. The canned food item could stun the intruder or even knock him out until the police arrive. The canned food item will give students a sense of empowerment to protect themselves and will make them feel secure in case an intruder enters their classroom.

There was no indication that students were only permitted to bring cans designed for sport throwing only, or that assault cans would be banned. And it wasn't clear if there was a school-imposed limit on how many cans students could load into their backpacks, or if they would be permitted to carry cans concealed.

Further, school officials did not disclose what punishment, if any, there would be if a student pointed his or her can at another student. And, following an analysis of the letter, Natural News could not determine if school rules prohibited students from drawing a picture of a can, or making a threatening, can-like gesture with their hands.

Some parents may have also suggested that, without proper training, it could be dangerous for students to actually throw the can, adding that practice at a can-throwing training course was likely warranted.

What's more, some parents might have raised doubts about allowing children to have the cans without first obtaining a license, registering the can with state and federal officials, and having to wait five days before actually purchasing a can for self-defense. Others could be thinking that what begins as simple disagreements between students could escalate into a canning massacre.

Constitutional activists, however, are believed to be supporting the school's new can self-defense policy, though they could not point to anything in the nation's founding document that guaranteed the right to keep and bear cans.

No, but seriously...

There is also a civic virtue component to the policy: At the end of the year, all un-thrown cans will be donated to a food bank.

Incredibly, the school's officials actually attempted to justify such an inane policy decision -- with real life examples.

As reported by

The letter cites two other examples of instances where localities saw the throwing of canned food as the X-factor in school safety. One example hails from Concord, Massachusetts and the other is from Lake Geneva, Wisconsin. Both cite the plan of having children chuck cans of soup at intruders to "stun" them and allow the kids to escape.

As you might imagine, not a few people are lampooning this idea, as we have. More serious policymakers are interested in more serious solutions for improving school safety, such as the placement of trained, armed police or security personnel inside schools, allowing teachers to be armed (after proper training and certification), and controlling entrances to schools no matter where they are located or how large/small they are.

In the meantime, we recommend you keep your food cans in the pantry.


All content posted on this site is commentary or opinion and is protected under Free Speech. Truth Publishing LLC takes sole responsibility for all content. Truth Publishing sells no hard products and earns no money from the recommendation of products. is presented for educational and commentary purposes only and should not be construed as professional advice from any licensed practitioner. Truth Publishing assumes no responsibility for the use or misuse of this material. For the full terms of usage of this material, visit