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Originally published June 24 2011

TSA claims it will soon stop molesting little children, but not adults, veterans or senior citizens

by Mike Adams, the Health Ranger, NaturalNews Editor

(NaturalNews) In a policy change announcement, the TSA now claims it will soon stop molesting little children by reaching into their pants and feeling their genitals. That we live in such a police state today where the opening line to a news story even mentions government agents molesting little children should be downright astonishing, but it's the truth. Of course, the TSA never claimed it was "molesting" children, and it describes its policy change as a way to "screen children without using invasive measures."

That kind of doublespeak deserves a place in the Hall of Fame of Cowardly Language, alongside President Bush's claims of "Weapons of Mass Destruction" and President Obama's description of war in Libya as "kinetic action."

The TSA, of course, has mastered the art of Orwellian doublespeak. This is the agency that insists it does not "confiscate" anything from air travelers. Instead, those travelers all "willfully surrender" their pocket knives, decorative souvenir globes and other items that the TSA steals from them and then sells for a profit (

So, you see, in the language of the TSA, they never really "molest" anyone, although if you or I did the same thing they do on a routine basis, we would be charged with molestation. Somehow, when government employees commit these crimes, they are excused from the law by simply changing the words they use to describe their crimes.

It's as if some guy walks into a bank, sticks a gun to the cashier's head, collects thousands of dollars in cash, and then explains that he wasn't really robbing the bank at all. "The cashier willfully surrendered the money," he could claim, using TSA language.

The TSA is lying, of course

The TSA's announcement that it will stop molesting little children is, of course, an outright lie. The agency already announced the same policy change late last year but kept on molesting children anyway ( The simple truth of the matter is that if we are relying on the TSA to police itself, then we're all fools -- we should be arresting TSA agents right now for the crimes they are committing against innocent children (and adults).

Waiting around for the TSA to announce it will control itself is a surrender of our power and rights to a rogue governmental organization that respects no law. The agency has already ridiculously claimed the U.S. Constitution gives it "supreme power" over the states, meaning no one can question its authority on any matter whatsoever. This is the position of a tyrannical organization that must be disbanded if we are to restore our freedoms as guaranteed under the U.S. Constitution.

The TSA remains a threat to the states and has already threatened to enact an economic blockade against the state of Texas if lawmakers there outlaw the TSA's lewd groping pat-downs (

Now the TSA is renewing its tyrannical threats against the state of Texas, which has reintroduced legislation that would outlaw the federal government's molestation of innocent travelers. As reports, the TSA is once again saying "it will take legal action to prevent the law being implemented, indicating that the government could once again resort to threatening Texas with a blockade that would impose a de facto no-fly zone over the state." (

TSA logic makes your head spin

Why does the TSA grope little children and reach down their pants as part of a screening process? TSA head John Pistole claims that terrorists might use 10-year-olds to carry bombs onto airplanes. While that possibility may at first sound alarming, consider this: the U.S. government hires TSA employees with the IQs of four-year-olds to reach down your pants, and that's far scarier. I'd rather fly with a 10-year-old bomber than a TSA nincompoop any day. At least you can try to negotiate with the 10-year-old. TSA agents, on the other hand, are cognitively incapable of processing logical language. You can prove this to yourself by attempting to reason with one of them at the airport about the bottle of water you're trying to get through security. (Good luck with that...)

It's not that they don't try to invoke cognitive function from time to time, however. In a recent Senate hearing, John Pistole whipped out his linguistic Jedi mastery skills and declared, "We need to use common sense." This brilliant realization nearly blinded onlookers who wondered whether "common sense" would include checking infants for poop bombs in their diapers. (

Common sense, you may recall, has been banished from the TSA ever since 2008 when a brown-skinned individual hid some common sense in his pocket and tried to set off a commonsense info-bomb at the airport. Clever TSA agents discovered the common sense, confiscated it and then swore a vendetta against it ever since. Now, you can't even bring common sense with you on an airplane. If you try to actually use common sense -- for example saying things like "Hey did you realize this radiation scanning machine is also irradiating YOU workers all day long?" -- you are immediately rebuked and treated as some kind of terrorist.

The TSA hasn't actually stopped any terrorists from blowing up airplanes, by the way, but it has managed to create a nationwide common sense-free network spanning every major airport in the USA. Leave your brain at home, folks, because you're only allowed to pack one 3-oz. bottle of liquid and a single mental thought on any given flight. That thought must be one of blind obedience to a police state agency that insists it has the supreme power to finger your anus, fondle your cockadoodle and backhand your hoohah, all with the feigned justification that comes from uttering the "T" word... "Terrorism!"

TSA: where morons and perverts go to find employment

What's really interesting about the TSA's announcement that the agency will stop molesting 12-year-olds is that in doing so, they are now admitting they will keep molesting 13-year-olds. And 14, 15, 16-year-olds, too. Plus veterans, grannies and "special needs" adults who get their comfort toys taken away by TSA morons who would actually be hard-pressed to out-think the mentally retarded in an IQ contest.

Somebody's gotta hire these people, I suppose. Even though McDonalds is on a huge hiring spree, even McDonalds requires workers to be intelligent enough to interact with the public with a sense of basic human dignity. Even your basic Wal-Mart greeter must demonstrate some fundamental understanding of keeping customers happy. But for those who utterly fail to value the dignity of other human beings or are too mentally incapacitated to offer anything of value to society, the TSA is always hiring. (They'll even give you a neat looking badge!)

By the way, if you really want to know how illegal the TSA's actions really are, try this little experiment this coming Halloween (not really, but I'm making a point using satire): Dress up as a TSA agent and then run around your neighborhood fondling little kids. It won't take long before somebody calls the cops and has you arrested. And that's what we should be doing right now to the costume-wearing TSA agents in the airports, too.

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