Originally published June 22 2008
How to Stop the Self-Sabotaging Thoughts in Your Head by Byron Katie
by Kevin Gianni
(NaturalNews) This interview is an excerpt from Kevin Gianni's The Healthiest Year of Your Life, which can be found at (http://thehealthiestyearofyourlife.com) . In this excerpt, Byron Katie shares a powerful message on addiction to thoughts, fears and how to turn it all around.
The Healthiest Year of Your Life with Byron Katie, founder of The Work and author of three best selling books whose mission is to teach people how to end their own suffering.
Kevin: You mentioned addiction before and you mentioned addiction to your thoughts. That's just an enormous topic. Let's kind of dissect that and talk about how you can recognize this addiction to your thoughts.
Byron: Okay. Addiction to our thoughts means that we can't stop what we're doing no matter what we want to believe, no matter what we think that our thoughts are just running. It's like "I'm not going to do it. I'm not going to do it again. Well, that's the last time I'm ever going to do that." Are those familiar phrases? And we do it anyway.
Kevin: Why does it happen?
Byron: Well, because we're trying to believe what we don't believe.
Kevin: Got you.
Byron: So an addiction is like if we go back to the little boy on the playground. How do you react if you think the thought they don't care about you? So the little boy begins to become addicted to isolating, to being alone maybe, to maybe impressing people to overcome being rejected; or he becomes like somebody says "Oh, you poor thing. It's okay. Here's some candy." Maybe you begin to
connect that with feeling better or maybe the group of kids you never wanted to be like said "Oh, they
don't know what they're talking about. Come with us." And all of a sudden you are in a crowd that you never would be with otherwise, because you think "At least they accept me." And we lose ourselves. Well, you know, eventually we get older and, let's say, a compulsive overeater.
Just using that one concept, well, we go to the refrigerator even though we've just eaten, or we pick up the cigarette we said we'd never smoke again and on and on. It's alcoholism. It's a drug addiction, mind addiction. When I found this work, or it found me on the floor that day later I picked up a cigarette to smoke it and it looked insane and I began to laugh and I couldn't do it, but what happened was, I was seeing. What happened was, I did The Work and smoking quit me. I get
to hear this from people all over the world. I did The Work and drinking quit me. I did The Work and being short tempered, being frustrated, quit me and that's why I just love inviting people to
answer these four questions and turn it around. It is so miraculous. If you did The Work throughout the day, it would give you miracles all day long and who's supplying them? You are every time you answer the questions. You can do it alone. It just takes meditation. Sit, get still and allow. Just be willing to allow those answers in spite of you to surface.
Kevin: Is it fear that's the biggest thing that will hold people back from doing it over and over again?
Byron: Oh, yes. You know fear is the effect of what we're believing. Fear happens when, for example, "He's going to hurt me." Well, how do I react when I believe that thought? Fear.
You know, look to yourself, Kevin, and I invite all of you to, I certainly do. Think of a time when you did something that it didn't feel right to you, and then look at what you were believing just
before you did it and then find the place where you could not have done otherwise. It is impossible. It was impossible not to do. So you look at the thought you we're believing, thinking, just before you did the deed. You put them on paper, the questions on them and there goes that one. It changes your life. You become a kinder human being. "Kevin, Has there ever been a time –- and your listeners –- has there ever been a time where one moment you did not have everything you needed?"
Byron: Okay, describe that moment.
Kevin: I get frustrated. I'm being very candid here. I get frustrated and feel stressed.
Byron: Okay, so tell me a situation where you did not have what you wanted.
Kevin: Let's see. Well, I have a lot of customer support emails coming in often and we're still looking for someone to handle a lot of those because it takes... I want to answer every one, but it takes a lot of my time and I have to do some of these events and handle all the other things that come to me.
Byron: So you need to answer all these customer care emails. Is that true?
Byron: You need to answer them? Can you absolutely know that it's true you need to answer them?
Kevin: Absolutely. No, it's true? Well, I'm sure I could find someone to do it, which we're
Byron: Okay, and now let's move back to the question: can you absolutely know that it's true?
Kevin: I absolutely know that it's true.
Byron: You need to answer all those emails.
Byron: You know, when I found that, I was so empowered. I thought "Who do they think I am?" I'm sure life was fine without me. I need to answer them.
Kevin: So you've been through this?
Byron: I have been through it. Oh, my goodness, yes and that's just the tip of the iceberg
when you say "Can I absolutely know that it's true that I need to answer them?" Now how do you react when you think the thought "I need to answer all these emails," and you don't have the employees, don't have the time, you can't just possibly do it all in a day. How do you react when you think the thought?
Kevin: I just...
Byron: If we're looking at negative consequences. The other consequence is we don't need to question. They're already working for us. Like I hired someone to do it that loves it.
Byron: Yeah, that works. We're looking at the negative, because the other doesn't need work. So how do you react when you think the thought, "I need to answer all these emails and you can't?"
Kevin: I feel it right now when you're saying it. I just think of all the people who need help.
Byron: Now, look at the images.
Kevin: Of the people?
Kevin: Oh, my gosh!
Byron: Yeah, look at the images. How do you react when you think that thought, 'I need to
answer all these emails?' Images happen. That's how you react.
Kevin: Yeah, I see people behind their keyboard pouring their hearts out and asking
Byron: The effect of that can also be a second dish of ice cream. It's just –- 'how do I react when I believe the thought?' So you just watch. You just sit in the presentation. 'How do I react? What happens when I believe that thought?' And then notice how fast you move and maybe how you don't have time for your family as often as you'd like. Look at how maybe you spend your life over a keyboard. I mean, how do you react when you look at that and then gently move into "Who would I be without the thought 'I need to answer all of these emails today'?" Feel the blood pressure drop. Feel the breath come out and feel the arteries and the blood and feel how your whole body shifts and opens.
Kevin: Oh, it does.
Byron: And Kevin, with the thought or without the thought, the emails do or don't get
Kevin: They do get answered.
Byron: One, you're awake and aware and energized and the other is it becomes a drudgery. We burn out.
Byron: And our little hearts just pour out. We break our own hearts imagining all the people that need us.
Byron: But they're not breaking our heart.
Kevin: Sometimes it sounds insensitive, but it's not, is it?
Byron: Oh, my goodness, no. You know, the way we've been raised, it's like it's if "I don't
Suffer, it means I don't care". That's crazy. You know what I love about separate bodies? When you suffer, I don't and another thing I like about it is when I suffer, you don't, but the way the world thinks of it is we all have to suffer when the other suffers and that that's heart. No, that's not heart. That's suffering and there's nothing, nothing kind about suffering. When we really think
about it, it's like "He doesn't care, he doesn't care. He's not crying with me."
Kevin: How many people out on this call have said that before?
Byron: My gosh. It's just so true. I would rather, when someone's suffering, be in the position of the light-hearted –- it's like 'how can I help?' basically. That's it. I'm filled with
gratitude and it's not me suffering, because it frees me up to help. That's when we're the happiest, serving and that's the basis of why you want to answer all these emails. So how could you do it without this "I need to answer all of these emails today?" Turn it around. I don't need to answer all of these emails today. So give me an example of why that's true, why that might be true.
Kevin: I think I've set up a standard in myself that I expect a quick response, so I think that I weigh that against when someone else does it to me, I expect... weigh that against my expectations to have a response back quickly.
Byron: Well, you certainly experience a different attitude when we don't get back to you in a timely manner.
Byron: We begin to understand that it's not just because people are rude. They're doing the best that they can do with what they've got and what they're believing. We're all doing the best that we can with what we believe.
Kevin: I didn't expect this, too.
Byron: And you know that turnaround, I don't need the answer on all of the emails today,
another example of that you've already found. It's like "Wow, that's true?" I'll hire someone else to answer them.
Byron: Because it's very clear that I can't do that and you begin to look at options on your
budget and whether you need someone to come in an hour a day, two hours a day rather than a full-time employee. It opens us up to the Internet and friendship and connections with people that their life is about helping us solve these problems.
Kevin: It opens up so much possibility.
Byron: But when we're stuck in "I need to get all these emails out today and every day," oh, my goodness. That exhausts us, not the emails.
Kevin: I know there are people on this call who feel physical stress 24 hours a day and they don't sleep.
Byron: Oh, it is so where I lived.
Kevin: Honestly, I did not expect to talk about my own issues on this call, but it's universal.
To read the rest of this transcript as well as access more information on creating and living a healthy lifestyle and hear from other health experts just like Byron Katie please visit (http://thehealthiestyearofyourlife.com) .
About the authorKevin Gianni is a health advocate, author and speaker. He has helped thousands of people in over 85 countries learn how to take control of their health--and keep it. To view his popular internet TV Show "The Renegade Health Show" (and get a free gift!) with commentary on natural health issues, vegan and raw food diets, holistic nutrition and more click here.
His book, "The Busy Person's Fitness Solution," is a step-by-step guide to optimum health for the time and energy-strapped. To find out more about abundance, optimum health and self motivation click here... or you're interested in the vegan and raw food diet and cutting edge holistic nutrition click here. For access to free interviews, downloads and a complete bodyweight exercise archive visit www.LiveAwesome.com.
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