Originally published April 28 2008
Lip Balm Bends Light, Defies Laws of Physics, Announces Washington Post
by Mike Adams, the Health Ranger, NaturalNews Editor
(NaturalNews) A new "sunlight scare story" report in the Washington Post claims that lip balm "attracts the sun's rays to the lips." This is certainly news to everybody who thought light traveled in a straight line. Apparently, lip balm can now alter the laws of physics and cause light to bend like, say, a planet the size of Jupiter (which slightly bends light due to the spacetime warping effects of its massive gravity).
This latest adventure in really bad journalism at the Washington Post is all part of a campaign to scare readers into thinking they need to put sunscreen chemicals on their lips. After asserting that shiny lip balm products "attract the sun's rays to the lips," this Washington Post article goes on to warn readers that they have to put sunscreen chemicals on their lips to avoid getting a kind of cancer that's very dangerous and can easily spread from the lips to -- get this -- the lymph nodes! Yes, you read it right: The way to prevent cancer is to put cancer-causing sunscreen chemicals on your lips.
The Washington Post story was taken straight from a Baylor University Medical Center press release. It adds no new facts to the press release, nor does it exhibit any degree of skepticism about whether the press release is actually true. The entire story is based on the opinion of a single "expert" who apparently lacks any real scientific credibility due to the fact that she thinks lip balm can create a large gravity well that bends light towards the face of a consumer. I wonder if next week, she'll announce that people should also wear sunscreen when they go sailing just in case they fall off the edge of the Earth. Sunlight is more intense when you fall off the edge and you're floating in outer space, didn't you know?
Why some journalists would fail grade school science classYou see, the whole idea that putting something shiny and reflective on your lips could cause more sunlight to penetrate your lips is goofier than a Senator trying to deliver stand-up comedy. Think about it: If you're wearing nothing on your lips, and your lip color is dark red (or some similar variation), that means a certain amount of light is reaching your lips -- we'll call it 100 units of light per second for simplicity. Now, if you apply something that's shiny and reflective to your lips, such as lip gloss, that means some of the light is bouncing off your lips, right? (Hence the "shiny" part.) And that means the amount of light reaching your lips must be something less than 100 units per second, such as 80 units, perhaps. But the Washington Post says that applying shiny, reflective lip balm to your lips causes more than 100 units of sunlight to reach your lips per second, thereby creating new light out of nothing! How is that possible, given that only 100 units of light were beaming towards your lips in the first place?
It's possible, of course, only if you never passed high school science class. Let me state the obvious here: Lips do not bend light towards themselves. If they did, the rest of your face would look distorted due to the lensing effect of the lip light bending. It would be sort of like wearing a large contact lens on your lips and it might make your face resemble Dick Cheney, whose lips always appear slightly distorted anyway. That's an amusing image, but not nearly as amusing as the fact that the Washington Post is now apparently hiring health editors who haven't yet passed high school science. (It might even be more like grade school science. I learned this stuff in the 5th grade... and the laws of light transmission still haven't changed, oddly enough...)
The story goes on to link to the National Cancer Institute, an organization many believe to be highly corrupt and influenced by Big Pharma. Part of the NCI's message to consumers for the last few decades has been "fear the sun!" The NCI does not make any effort whatsoever to educate consumers about the fact that sunlight actually prevents cancer (77 percent of all cancers) because it creates vitamin D in the skin, and vitamin D is the world's most powerful anti-cancer nutrient. Learn more at: http://www.naturalnews.com/021892.html
Another source for this story was, not surprisingly, HealthDay -- a news organization similar to the one we've criticized before for writing a CNN story about how people can lose inches off their waist by chugging soda and eating pizza (http://www.naturalnews.com/022453.html). It seems that HealthDay is in dire need of writers and editors who are literate in the areas they're writing about, doesn't it? Oh, and by the way, be careful if you drive past the HealthDay offices. They've coated the entire building with lip gloss in order to attract more sunlight through the windows, creating an intense UV radiation zone that has apparently fried a few brains in the quality control department.
The mainstream media's use of idiot journalists used to be annoying. Now it's just hilarious. Apparently, there is no longer any requirement whatsoever in the mainstream media that stories be based on reality. Now, they just make up whatever they want and call it news -- even if it violates the laws of physics. I can't wait to see what they'll come up with next: Viagra makes you fly like Superman! Vaccines give you superpowers! And taking natural medicine will cause your body to be pierced by dangerous gamma rays that cause cancer! Riiiight.
Remember, the position of the MSM on health issues is now this: Water has no health benefits, sunlight is dangerous, nutrition doesn't work to prevent disease and pharmaceuticals are good for you! Plus, vaccines save lives, the FDA always tells the truth and any press release issued by a Big Pharma-funded organization should be published without asking any questions. Welcome to the modern media, folks. Be sure not to actually engage your brains, or you might start bending light towards your head and end up recruited as a solar power plant.
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