Originally published September 23 2005
Humorless Walmart prosecutes harmless prankster
by Mike Adams, the Health Ranger, NaturalNews Editor
When a young man dressed in an orange jumpsuit and handcuffs asked a Walmart clerk for a hacksaw, instead of laughing, the superstore prosecuted the boy for "disorderly behavior."
He approached a clerk and asked if he could buy a hacksaw, probably anticipating some amusement at the store employees' momentary puzzlement, but some humorless Wal-Mart worker called the police.
Now the young man faces a charge of "disorderly conduct"---a charge the state concocted to facilitate the prosecution of people who haven't really committed a crime.
What the jokester forgot was that people who work at Wal-Mart are trained to view everyone as criminals.
Anyone who doubts that need only shop there, and wait to be accosted between the cash register and the front door by the Receipt Nazis, who arbitrarily insult selected customers by demanding proofs of purchase from whatever class of person excites their particular prejudices.
Wal-Mart reputedly harbors just as little trust for its employees as for its customers, which makes it easier to understand such instinctive suspicion.
Presumably the real complaint entails the police time that was wasted in responding to the call, but is that entirely the fault of the prankster or of the clerk who failed to get the joke?
Of course the official response would be to praise the Wal-Mart clerk for doing precisely the right thing, lest criticism discourage the next citizen from calling in a legitimate report.
Large digital signs hang over the highways for a 50-mile perimeter outside our national capital, offering a toll-free number at which anyone can leave anonymous tips of suspicious activity.
Suspicious activity seems the norm down there, at least to a provincial like me, although many of the suspicious characters are simply trying to amuse themselves and their fellow citizens.
Surely he must be liable to federal prosecution, especially since he perpetrates his humor inside the District of Columbia, where the infliction of cruel jokes remains the sole prerogative of Congress.
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