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The mad rush to thought conformity: Walmart bans sales of red, white and blue crayons and magic markers because they might be used to draw a Confederate flag (parody)


Walmart

(NaturalNews) As part of the stunning collapse of thought diversity and the dominating demand of absolute belief system obedience in America, Walmart has announced that in addition to banning sales of the Confederate flag, it is also banning sales of red, white and blue colored crayons, colored pens and magic markers. Why? Because they can be used to draw the Confederate flag! (Yes, this article is a partial parody, as indicated in the title.)

A ban on blank sheets of paper is expected soon, too, because paper can be used to draw racist images as well.

"Walmart does not wish to give tools to children that might be used to create offensive representations of inappropriate ideas," touted a Walmart spokesperson.

"Leading retailers including Walmart (WMT), Amazon (AMZN), Sears (SHLD) and eBay (EBAY) have now said they'll stop selling Confederate flag merchandise," reports Yahoo News. "EBay announced its ban on Confederate flag sales a short while after that, saying 'we believe it has become a contemporary symbol of divisiveness and racism.' Amazon didn't respond for this article, but it announced its own ban about two hours after eBay did."

This "mad rush" to total thought conformity exemplifies to absolute panic exhibited by spineless corporations whose executives tremble with the fear over the thought of not instantly falling in line with whatever socially-pressured craze is sweeping the nation at the moment. They're practically stampeding over themselves to see who can ban more Confederate merchandise the quickest.

Now the people who want to burn the Confederate flag can't even find them for sale!

As you might expect, there's a massive supply and demand problem being created by this mad rush toward absolute social obedience and conformity. With the announcement of the "National Burn the Confederate Flag Day" on Facebook, all the people who are desperately trying to BUY the Confederate flag so they can BURN the flag are discovering their free speech is being suppressed because companies won't sell them the flags.

Dang it, man! How am I supposed to burn this flag if no one will sell it to me?

So now Walmart, Sears, Amazon and other companies are suppressing the free speech of the obedient activists who want to show how incredibly "appropriate" they are by burning the Confederate flag on Youtube. If only they could find such flags in the first place, they could accomplish this amazing feat of heroism. Because lighting up a piece of cloth takes real balls, you see.

And so all these people, it turns out, are having to draw their own Confederate flags, which of course makes them outright racists and bigots. After all, who would draw the Confederate flag other than an obvious racist hater psycho? To draw these flags, people are rushing out to Walmart to purchase crayons and magic markers, especially in the colors of red, white and blue -- the very colors used in the Confederate flag as well as the United States flag, which will no doubt be next on the list of flags to burn.

Thus, Walmart has come to realize that people are visiting its stores and buying red, white and blue magic markers to draw "unfortunate symbols of hate" which the Walmart corporation can never allow to happen, because that might invite vicious waves of robot-automated attacks on Twitter, which Walmart executives mistakenly think are tweeted by real people.

So as of today, less than two weeks away from July 4th, Independence Day, Walmart will be banning the sales of all red, white and blue crayons and magic markers. Bans on blank sheets of paper will be next, followed by a nationwide ban on the very colors currently known as "red" and "blue," both of which will be reassigned via trans-coloration to the more politically correct names of "Earth rust" and "climate sky."

Walmart thought police are standing by

Thought police will be standing by at Walmart with further instructions that prohibit items you've purchased at Walmart from being used in any way whatsoever that anyone anywhere in the world might, for their own reasons, find anywhere close to offensive.

How comforting to know that Walmart is now protecting me from my own irrational purchasing behavior. Notably, Walmart is happy to continue selling infant formula made primary with high fructose corn syrup. Apparently, that's perfectly "appropriate" for America.

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About the author:Mike Adams (aka the "Health Ranger") is a best selling author (#1 best selling science book on Amazon.com) and a globally recognized scientific researcher in clean foods. He serves as the founding editor of NaturalNews.com and the lab science director of an internationally accredited (ISO 17025) analytical laboratory known as CWC Labs. There, he was awarded a Certificate of Excellence for achieving extremely high accuracy in the analysis of toxic elements in unknown water samples using ICP-MS instrumentation. Adams is also highly proficient in running liquid chromatography, ion chromatography and mass spectrometry time-of-flight analytical instrumentation.

Adams is a person of color whose ancestors include Africans and Native American Indians. He's also of Native American heritage, which he credits as inspiring his "Health Ranger" passion for protecting life and nature against the destruction caused by chemicals, heavy metals and other forms of pollution.

Adams is the founder and publisher of the open source science journal Natural Science Journal, the author of numerous peer-reviewed science papers published by the journal, and the author of the world's first book that published ICP-MS heavy metals analysis results for foods, dietary supplements, pet food, spices and fast food. The book is entitled Food Forensics and is published by BenBella Books.

In his laboratory research, Adams has made numerous food safety breakthroughs such as revealing rice protein products imported from Asia to be contaminated with toxic heavy metals like lead, cadmium and tungsten. Adams was the first food science researcher to document high levels of tungsten in superfoods. He also discovered over 11 ppm lead in imported mangosteen powder, and led an industry-wide voluntary agreement to limit heavy metals in rice protein products.

In addition to his lab work, Adams is also the (non-paid) executive director of the non-profit Consumer Wellness Center (CWC), an organization that redirects 100% of its donations receipts to grant programs that teach children and women how to grow their own food or vastly improve their nutrition. Through the non-profit CWC, Adams also launched Nutrition Rescue, a program that donates essential vitamins to people in need. Click here to see some of the CWC success stories.

With a background in science and software technology, Adams is the original founder of the email newsletter technology company known as Arial Software. Using his technical experience combined with his love for natural health, Adams developed and deployed the content management system currently driving NaturalNews.com. He also engineered the high-level statistical algorithms that power SCIENCE.naturalnews.com, a massive research resource featuring over 10 million scientific studies.

Adams is well known for his incredibly popular consumer activism video blowing the lid on fake blueberries used throughout the food supply. He has also exposed "strange fibers" found in Chicken McNuggets, fake academic credentials of so-called health "gurus," dangerous "detox" products imported as battery acid and sold for oral consumption, fake acai berry scams, the California raw milk raids, the vaccine research fraud revealed by industry whistleblowers and many other topics.

Adams has also helped defend the rights of home gardeners and protect the medical freedom rights of parents. Adams is widely recognized to have made a remarkable global impact on issues like GMOs, vaccines, nutrition therapies, human consciousness.

In addition to his activism, Adams is an accomplished musician who has released over a dozen popular songs covering a variety of activism topics.

Click here to read a more detailed bio on Mike Adams, the Health Ranger, at HealthRanger.com.

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