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Hey sheeple! Don't forget to use your JADE HELM Memory Wipes to erase any memory of freedom in America (satire)

Jade Helm

(NaturalNews) When contemplating the purpose of the JADE HELM military exercises being planned on U.S. soil -- with Texas being declared by the military a "hostile territory" -- it's important to wipe your memory clean so that you don't remember all the times we've been lied to by the establishment.

JADE HELM may or may not be a practice run for martial law in America, but with JADE HELM Memory Wipes, who cares?

To help the sheeple easily assimilate into the new society run by psychopathic bureaucrats, we created JADE HELM Memory Wipes, now available at selected Wal-Mart locations. They're free when you purchase any vaccine, and they even help augment the lobotomization of your brain caused by vaccine ingredients like mercury and aluminum. By simply rubbing JADE HELM Memory Wipes on your forehead, you will forget all of American history, the existence of the Constitution and everything you learned in history class about the dangers of any military operating on domestic soil.

Who needs to remember history when it's so much fun to keep repeating it? Police state totalitarianism shouldn't be scary... it should be mindlessly FUN!

Thanks to JADE HELM Memory Wipes, you'll also forget George Bush's "Weapons of Mass Destruction" faked intelligence claims (used to justify war) as well as President Obama's promise to shut down the military's secret prisons and torture sites (Guantanamo Bay). As for all of Obama's other broken campaign promises, who cares? We don't even remember them because we enjoy using JADE HELM Memory Wipes!

JADE HELM Memory Wipes have a multitude of amazing uses. With them, you can also forget that Jimmy Kimmel made fun of vaccine-damaged children as part of a CDC-run measles scare operation, or that a top CDC scientist already went public with an admission of scientific fraud at the agency to cover up the links between vaccines and autism.

JADE HELM Memory Wipes are so popular that they've being given out for FREE by the TSA, but only after government perverts fondle your junk for the purpose of "national security." Whatever you don't remember never really happened, right?

Ask your doctor about JADE HELM Memory Wipes, which are also useful for forgetting all your medication side effects. Thanks to JADE HELM Memory Wipes, share prices of Alzheimer's drug manufacturers have reached an all-time high, and that's good for America's awesome economy.

Spread the word: If you don't like it, just WIPE IT! With JADE HELM Memory Wipes, available everywhere!

Click here for a hi-res image of JADE HELM Memory Wipes.

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About the author:Mike Adams (aka the "Health Ranger") is a best selling author (#1 best selling science book on Amazon.com) and a globally recognized scientific researcher in clean foods. He serves as the founding editor of NaturalNews.com and the lab science director of an internationally accredited (ISO 17025) analytical laboratory known as CWC Labs. There, he was awarded a Certificate of Excellence for achieving extremely high accuracy in the analysis of toxic elements in unknown water samples using ICP-MS instrumentation. Adams is also highly proficient in running liquid chromatography, ion chromatography and mass spectrometry time-of-flight analytical instrumentation.

Adams is a person of color whose ancestors include Africans and Native American Indians. He's also of Native American heritage, which he credits as inspiring his "Health Ranger" passion for protecting life and nature against the destruction caused by chemicals, heavy metals and other forms of pollution.

Adams is the founder and publisher of the open source science journal Natural Science Journal, the author of numerous peer-reviewed science papers published by the journal, and the author of the world's first book that published ICP-MS heavy metals analysis results for foods, dietary supplements, pet food, spices and fast food. The book is entitled Food Forensics and is published by BenBella Books.

In his laboratory research, Adams has made numerous food safety breakthroughs such as revealing rice protein products imported from Asia to be contaminated with toxic heavy metals like lead, cadmium and tungsten. Adams was the first food science researcher to document high levels of tungsten in superfoods. He also discovered over 11 ppm lead in imported mangosteen powder, and led an industry-wide voluntary agreement to limit heavy metals in rice protein products.

In addition to his lab work, Adams is also the (non-paid) executive director of the non-profit Consumer Wellness Center (CWC), an organization that redirects 100% of its donations receipts to grant programs that teach children and women how to grow their own food or vastly improve their nutrition. Through the non-profit CWC, Adams also launched Nutrition Rescue, a program that donates essential vitamins to people in need. Click here to see some of the CWC success stories.

With a background in science and software technology, Adams is the original founder of the email newsletter technology company known as Arial Software. Using his technical experience combined with his love for natural health, Adams developed and deployed the content management system currently driving NaturalNews.com. He also engineered the high-level statistical algorithms that power SCIENCE.naturalnews.com, a massive research resource featuring over 10 million scientific studies.

Adams is well known for his incredibly popular consumer activism video blowing the lid on fake blueberries used throughout the food supply. He has also exposed "strange fibers" found in Chicken McNuggets, fake academic credentials of so-called health "gurus," dangerous "detox" products imported as battery acid and sold for oral consumption, fake acai berry scams, the California raw milk raids, the vaccine research fraud revealed by industry whistleblowers and many other topics.

Adams has also helped defend the rights of home gardeners and protect the medical freedom rights of parents. Adams is widely recognized to have made a remarkable global impact on issues like GMOs, vaccines, nutrition therapies, human consciousness.

In addition to his activism, Adams is an accomplished musician who has released over a dozen popular songs covering a variety of activism topics.

Click here to read a more detailed bio on Mike Adams, the Health Ranger, at HealthRanger.com.

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