Columnist discusses dementia and the responsibility of families to recognize the illness

• First, realize that forgetting things occasionally is as normal as rain at any age.
• As we get older, we often have more trouble remembering lots of things --- our friends' names, where we left the car, why we walked into a certain room --- and it's OK, within bounds.
• But like the rest of our bodies, our brains can become diseased as we get older.
• Serious memory loss is different from occasional forgetfulness.
• These include medication mix-ups, bladder infections, thyroid problems, depression and inadequate diet and water intake (especially common among older folks).
• The bad news is that some causes of memory loss are permanent, progressive and incurable.
• The two most common are Alzheimer's disease and small strokes, accounting for about 70 percent of today's cases.
• Whatever the cause, dementia results in impaired thinking, reasoning, learning and memory.
• It's the most common reason an older person can no longer live alone --- or why their families have such a long, difficult time providing care.
• As the disease progresses, significant and unpleasant changes occur in personality, mood and behavior.
• Second, if the diagnosis is dementia, there are significant decisions that the affected person and family must make, information to be gathered, financial and legal matters to attend to.
• This includes making lists and learning about local services that can help at home --- getting groceries, housekeeping, preparing meals and other tasks, then, ultimately, about residential facilities that care for people in the later stages.
• (Because this disease is so difficult, I recommend looking only at facilities that train their staff in dementia care.)
• Finally, researchers are working to uncover ways to stop or prevent dementia, and they need people willing to participate, usually early in the disease process.