Philadelphia named "most depressed city" by Men's Health magazine

• Oh, we'd like to be happy about this...
• Yo, Philly, you're the most depressed city in America.
• So claims Men's Health magazine in its April issue, a downer no longer on newsstands.
• "Maybe it was all those years of futility for the Phillies.
• Or the shadows cast by New York City to the north and Washington, D.C., to the south," the magazine speculates.
• In fact, El Paso and Corpus Christi also made the top four, which proves the Lone Star State has a mysterious knack for fostering optimism.
• The list was based on antidepressant sales, suicide rates, and the number of days inhabitants reported feeling depressed (as per the Behavioral Risk Factor Surveillance System of the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention).
• "The column tries to look at issues of interest to readers for which there is solid data," said articles editor Matt Marion, who oversees MetroGrades.
• In earlier lists, Philadelphia finished near the bottom for sexually transmitted diseases (grade: F; rank: 96th) and smoking (F; 90th).
• "Philly is in our backyard, and some of our editors live in the Philadelphia suburbs...
• We know you can do it, and we're sticking with you no matter what."
• The depression rankings seem to defy empirical evidence and common sense.
• If its residents are happier than ours, it's because they're intoxicated with refinery fumes.
• And how can Tampa, citadel of Sun Belt chirpiness, be No. 97, a few rungs above us?
• "Depression and happiness are not opposites, so it's incorrect to infer from Prozac statistics that a city is unhappy," he said.
• "From my point of view, happiness is about three things: positive emotion, engagement and meaning.
• Contact staff writer Art Carey at 215-854-4588 or acarey@phillynews.com.