It is morning in America and I am in the breakfast nook, about to employ my new strategy for choking down fiber in amounts that were once the province of field animals.
The doctor has ordered - and not just my doctor, friends - massive fiber dosing.
Which means not merely your grandma's prunes and grapefruit (especially since grapefruit doesn't mix with the statin drugs half the country is taking) or kidney-bean chili.
No, the ante has been way upped: The new dietary guidelines say whole grains should make up half the grains you eat, which means exponential increases for most of us.
You can get it any way you want it - in your limas, raspberries, corn, kale, broccoli or almonds.
But some breakfast cereals have unbelievable stats.
At my table, this has meant stare-downs with General Mills' wretchedly tasteless Fiber One, a particular favorite of my particular doctor, which tops out at 14 grams of fiber per half-cup, about 57 percent of your daily requirement.
Sometimes I'll have Kellogg's All-Bran Buds, which also supply more than half your recommended fiber intake and taste marginally less like cardboard.
Literally and in its marketing materials, as it retools to catch the whole-grain wave.
Post is running ads for whole-grain Frosted Shredded Wheat.
And PepsiCo's "Take Heart" Quaker instant oatmeal added half a gram more of soluble fiber - that's the cholesterol-lowering kind - to its packets.
Fifty years ago, my mother plied us with wheat germ.
You'll find the same theme in Mireille Guiliano's new best-seller, French Women Don't Get Fat (Knopf; $22).
Then we top it with sliced banana, and sprinkle it with currants.
And a squeeze of honey from the plastic Honey Bear.