Satire

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Hey, medheads! Here's the new language of the medication population (satire) Mike Adams, the Health Ranger See article keywords and concepts

Permission is granted to repost, reprint or reproduce this satire article in its entirety as long as no changes are made and credit is given to the Health Ranger + a link to http://www.NewsTarget.com/012580.html Like to read more health & medical satire by the Health Ranger? Click here for more satire / comedy articles on this site. And by the way, Tom Cruise was totally right about psychiatry...

Why Doctors are Idiots: 150 Years of Disatrous Advice on Children's Health (satire) Mike Adams, the Health Ranger See article keywords and concepts

The purpose behind this satire piece is not to engage in silly name-calling exercises, but rather to play an important role in social commentary on the huge failures of modern medicine today. satire and humor have important functions in any free society: They reveal what's wrong in a hilarious light, simultaneously entertaining us while encouraging us to challenge our own ideas and, perhaps, come up with new, better solutions for future generations.

Bush Administration announces effort to reduce greenhouse gas emissions through "wishful thinking" (satire) Mike Adams, the Health Ranger See article keywords and concepts

REPPED: (NewsTarget satire) In a significant nod toward pro-environment politics, the Bush Administration yesterday announced a major initiative to reduce greenhouse gas emissions by encouraging everybody to engage in "Wishful Thinking" to cut emissions without harming the economy. "Wishing for change is far more important than actually cutting greenhouse emissions," Bush said in a prepared statement. "We urge all Americans to take up Wishful Thinking to lower CO2 emissions and, if necessary, to even use up their birthday wishes in this national effort.

Why Doctors are Idiots: 150 Years of Disatrous Advice on Children's Health (satire) Mike Adams, the Health Ranger See article keywords and concepts

The fact that silly humor and examples of idiotic behavior are so easy to find in conventional medicine today is indicative of the failure of medicine to be effective. satire "attack" humor carries a sub-text message that says, "We can do better." We don't have to suffer under an idiotic system of medicine. We can create a better future based on genuine health freedom, the promotion of disease prevention programs, and the embracing of plant-based medicines that are safe, affordable and highly effective.

REPPED: (NewsTarget satire) With mandatory vaccines suddenly being forced onto parents by doctors and so-called "health authorities" in places like Maryland, New Jersey and Texas, you might think that doctors being full of bunk is a new phenomenon. But no, it's nothing new. Doctors have been full of bunk for more than a hundred years!

Hey, medheads! Here's the new language of the medication population (satire) Mike Adams, the Health Ranger See article keywords and concepts

Like to read more health & medical satire by the Health Ranger? Click here for more satire / comedy articles on this site. And by the way, Tom Cruise was totally right about psychiatry...

RIAA Declares Using Brain to Remember Songs is Criminal Copyright Infringement (satire) Mike Adams, the Health Ranger See article keywords and concepts

REPPED: (NewsTarget satire) On the heels of the RIAA's recent decision to criminalize consumers who rip songs from albums they've purchased to their computers (or iPods), the association has now gone one step further and declared that "remembering songs" using your brain is criminal copyright infringement. "The brain is a recording device," explained RIAA president Cary Sherman. "The act of listening is an unauthorized act of copying music to that recording device, and the act of recalling or remembering a song is unauthorized playback.

NOTE: This is a satire report on the RIAA. That means it's written as fictional humor. It does not yet represent the actual position of the RIAA, although from the way things are going, the association may soon adopt it. Permission is granted to make copies of this story, redistribute it, post it and e-mail it (please provide proper credit and URL) as long as you do not actually remember it because copying to your brain is now strictly prohibited.

Why Doctors are Idiots: 150 Years of Disatrous Advice on Children's Health (satire) Mike Adams, the Health Ranger See article keywords and concepts

Quick Note: This satire piece does not mean to imply that ALL doctors are complete idiots when it comes to health. There are exceptions. Many of the outstanding people I know in natural health started as conventional medical doctors (M.D.s). The difference between complete idiot doctors and intelligent doctors is that idiots are not willing to abandon their existing dogmatic beliefs when faced with new, contradictory evidence. Intelligent people, on the other hand, adapt and evolve their ideas when faced with new information or evidence.

What follows is a short timeline of the nonsense, junk science, negligence and harmful advice peddled by medical doctors over the last 150 years or so: (see the end of this article for serious follow-up comments describing the intent behind this satire piece) 1850's Ignaz Semmelweis, an Austrian-Hungarian obstetrician working in a clinic that delivers babies, is labeled "insane" by his fellow doctors for having the audacity to suggest that doctors should wash their hands between delivering babies.

The unauthorized history of Coca-Cola (satire) Mike Adams, the Health Ranger See article keywords and concepts

DISCLAIMER: The above article is pure satire and is not meant as a factual representation of the position of Coca-Cola or its executives. It is offered purely for entertainment purposes. The health effects of soft drinks - quotes from the experts This is a compilation of quotes about the destructive health effects of soft drinks from some of the leading authors on health, nutrition and junk food. This full list, and much more information, is included in The Five Soft Drink Monsters downloadable ebook.

Hey, medheads! Here's the new language of the medication population (satire) Mike Adams, the Health Ranger See article keywords and concepts

Click here for more satire / comedy articles on this site. And by the way, Tom Cruise was totally right about psychiatry...

CDC's "Germstoppers" campaign uses low-brow language to teach complex hand washing skills (satire) Mike Adams, the Health Ranger See article keywords and concepts

They must think that this is some kind of satire piece, but I assure you it is not. This is exactly what the brochure from the CDC says -- I'm not making this up. But still, you must be thinking to yourself, "How could the American public be so uneducated as to require such simplistic terminology?" Many of you from other countries are probably reading this using English you learned as a second, third or fourth language -- and your vocabulary far exceeds that of the average American, who only knows one language and hasn't even mastered that one.

Millions of Americans affected by Television Deficiency Disorder (TDD) - (satire) Mike Adams, the Health Ranger See article keywords and concepts

Finally, psychiatrists are also urging all parents to realize that this report is a satire piece, meaning that it is entirely fictitious. It does serve, however, as a metaphor for the incessant disease mongering and "screening & treatment" scams being operated today by drug companies, disease non-profit groups and the psychiatric community. So-called disorders ranging from ADHD to "social anxiety disorder" are invented, promoted and sold to the public in order to convince people they need expense pharmaceuticals to lead healthy lives.

NewsTarget launches citizen journalism program, invites writers to contribute articles for publication Mike Adams, the Health Ranger See article keywords and concepts

We are NOT looking for opinion articles or satire pieces. Articles should not contain opinion statements. However, our overall focus is to promote natural health, green living and disease prevention through nutrition. We are also looking for articles that cover the dangers of conventional medicine, pharmaceuticals, the FDA, processed foods and so on. Are there any other ads in addition to my own Adsense ad that are posted with the article? Yes, NewsTarget posts its own ad on the right side of the article.

The world according to the FDA and Big Pharma Mike Adams, the Health Ranger See article keywords and concepts

This is not a satire piece. This is a serious exploration of the beliefs under which much of modern medical science operates today. Once you read these and understand just how deeply they are embedded in the minds and actions of conventional medicine operatives today, you'll realize the magnitude of the medical collapse (and the related population collapse) that now awaits modern civilization. There is nothing in these rules that respects life, nature, compassion or humility. It's all about the power of man over nature, arrogance, control, exploitation and self delusion.

Photo shows beer promotions at McDonald's restaurant (humor) Mike Adams, the Health Ranger See article keywords and concepts

All comments about McDonald's in this story are pure satire and/or personal opinion. Nothing in this photo or story is meant to imply that the McDonald's corporation actually sells beer or endorses beer. Got fascinating photos? Earn a hundred bucks Do you have similarly fascinating photos of health-related products, companies or organizations? Send 'em to us at NewsTarget, and if we publish one of your photos, we'll send you a check for $100 (U.S. dollars). Use our feedback form to contact us or just email photos@newstarget.com.

Analysis: Senate committee approves drug safety bill, but FDA still runs on Big Pharma money - UPDATE 1 Mike Adams, the Health Ranger See article keywords and concepts

Analysis, commentary and satire by Mike Adams Okay, let's get to the real story here. The bill has good intentions, but even if it passes, it still leaves the FDA fully in charge of a medical monopoly, paid and influenced by drug companies, and does nothing to outlaw direct-to-consumer drug advertising. Relevant facts about the FDA and Big Pharma:The FDA is funded in part by the drug companies themselves. Employees who work at the FDA know that drug companies ultimately help fund their paychecks.

Sugar Shock!: How Sweets and Simple Carbs Can Derail Your Life-- and How YouCan Get Back on Track Connie Bennett, C.H.H.C. with Stephen T. Sinatra, M.D. See book keywords and concepts

Today, with such eerily similar cases already filed or considered against fast-food giants and companies, that satire has lost its sting, and the piece now seems prophetic. But in the year 2000, many readers, we suspect, were amused by The Onion's fictitious news story about the Hershey Foods Corporation being ordered to pay a monstrous $135 billion in restitution fees to 900,000 obese Americans in five states for "knowingly and willfully marketing rich, fatty candy bars containing chocolate and other ingredients of negligible nutritional value.

How Everyday Products Make People Sick: Toxins at Home and in the Workplace Paul D. Blanc, M.D. See book keywords and concepts

Allen's film was healthy satire, but the revisionists would have us take it as a documentary. They promote as established fact the dangerous misconception that environmental concerns are purely modern creatures born of our narcissistic age. Perhaps this distorted view merely reflects a general shortsightedness we all share to one extent or another. William Faulkner observed that the old do not perceive the past to stretch back linearly.

We can enjoy the reruns of the Seinfeld television satire, but it is high time we stop revisiting the same repeated episodes of failed public protection. FOUR Under a Green Sea The Rising Tide of Chlorine a silent epidemic A bottle of household bleach sitting peacefully on the laundry room shelf is not a ticking time bomb. It is merely a small tactical weapon in our never-ending war against dirt, germs, and stains. Bleach is not benign, however, because the chlorine that is trapped inside it, if released, can be a potent toxin.

Comfortably Numb: How Psychiatry Is Medicating a Nation Charles Barber See book keywords and concepts

In his odd but brilliant 1983 satire Lost in the Cosmos: The Last Self-Help Book, Percy combines an analysis of the ills of our age with some tentative suggestions about what do about them. Lost in the Cosmos is a departure for Percy in that instead of a novel, it is a sort of memorandum to his fellow wayfarers in American society. This is pure and unvarnished Percy, relieved of the need to tell a story. For the reader, this is liberating, because narrative was not his primary gift. Throughout the book, Percy plays with the concept of "reentry.

NewsTarget launches citizen journalism program, invites writers to contribute articles for publication Mike Adams, the Health Ranger See article keywords and concepts

We are not looking for opinion pieces or satire pieces, only fact-based reporting on current events. Articles should be a minimum of 400 words long, and can be up to 2000 words. Under this program, either party can quit the arrangement at any time, so if you don't like the way we're publishing and publicizing your content, you can remove all your content and shop it around to someone else. We ask that all writers operate with basic professionalism and honesty. Plagiarism will not be tolerated. Neither will fraudulent clicking on your own Adsense ads.

Merck Engaged in Blatant Scientific Fraud with Vytorin Cholesterol Study? (opinion) Mike Adams, the Health Ranger See article keywords and concepts

In fact, I just posted a YouTube video with a satire Vytorin ad that makes fun of this stupid scientific nonsense now being spouted by Merck. Check it out by clicking the link below: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rwendcLch-4 Scientific fraud is routine in pharmaceutical medicine today What's important in all this is not simply the fact that Merck is apparently engaged in scientific fraud in this particular study, but rather the fact that Merck thought selectively discarding data and redefining the goal of the study after the fact was an acceptable scientific practice!

Our Daily Meds: How the Pharmaceutical Companies Transformed Themselves into Slick Marketing Machines and Hooked the Nation on Prescription Drugs Melody Petersen See book keywords and concepts

Romains's satire, which is still read by French schoolchildren, is the story of an ambitious doctor who comes to the sleepy town of Saint-Maurice. Dr. Knock buys the practice of the town's longtime physician, who was known for telling patients that time would heal their afflictions. Dr. Knock decides he is not satisfied with the meager financial rewards that come from offering such medical advice. He vows to bring medical progress to Saint-Maurice, while producing riches for himself. Quickly, Dr.

Empower yourself in 3 minutes a day: An introduction to indy media, NewsTarget.com and the online information revolution Mike Adams, the Health Ranger See article keywords and concepts

We also throw in the occasional intelligent satire or comedy story, usually on Fridays, to lighten the message and include some variety. Unlike most news websites, we don't play games with readers or treat them like idiots. You won't find pop-up ads on our site, nor "expanding" graphic ads ("screen spam") that pollute the screen with commercial messages. We don't require you to register an account, log in or pay us fees to read archived articles. We don't sell your email address or spam your inbox with irrelevant emails. In fact, we respect our readers more than any news website on the 'net.

The ADHD Fraud: How Psychiatry Makes "Patients" of Normal Children Fred A. Baughman, Jr., M.D. and Craig Hovey See book keywords and concepts

Readers were horrified that anybody, satire or not, would dare raise the subject. Today, though we have not reached the point where broiled kids are served up for dinner, millions of defenseless children around the world are being ravaged by a predatory frenzy, and the sections of the DSM-IV that deal with psychiatric disorders in children serve as instructional manuals for branding them so that meal time can begin. And who are those at the trough?

Toxic Childhood: How the Modern World is Damaging Our Children and What We Can Do About it Sue Palmer See book keywords and concepts

The trouble is, while adults appreciate ironic humour, children under the age of about eight take such statements literally, and even for many older pre-teens satire remains a mystery. We have no idea how many Bart Simpson act-a-likes have actually swallowed his philosophy whole. Possibly quite a few, because in the same survey 79 per cent of parents said their child was often badly behaved and 68 per cent reckoned the present generation was the worst behaved in history.

Health is a result of action, not luck: Principles for achieving optimum health Mike Adams, the Health Ranger See article keywords and concepts

There also is a recipe for disease, and I even wrote a couple of satire articles on how to give yourself cancer or diabetes by following the health "recipe" of most Americans. It may seem like an odd thing to write about, but the point is to show that if you wanted to give yourself diabetes, there are certain steps you can take. Almost everyone in this country is following those steps right now, as if they were intending to give themselves diabetes.

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TERMS OF USE: Read full terms of use. Citations of text from NaturalPedia must include: 1) Full credit to the original author and book title. 2) Secondary credit to the Natural News Naturalpedia as a research resource and a link to www.NaturalNews.com/np/index.html

This unique compilation of research is copyright (c) 2008 by the non-profit Consumer Wellness Center.

ABOUT THE CREATOR OF NATURALPEDIA: Mike Adams, the creator of this NaturalNews Naturalpedia, is the editor of NaturalNews.com, the internet's top natural health news site, creator of the Honest Food Guide (www.HonestFoodGuide.org), a free downloadable consumer food guide based on natural health principles, author of Grocery Warning, The 7 Laws of Nutrition, Natural Health Solutions, and many other books available at www.TruthPublishing.com, creator of the earth-friendly EcoLEDs company (www.EcoLEDs.com) that manufactures energy-efficient LED lighting products, founder of Arial Software (www.ArialSoftware.com), a permission e-mail technology company, creator of the CounterThink Cartoon series (www.NaturalNews.com/index-cartoons.html) and author of over 1,500 articles, interviews, special reports and reference guides available at www.NaturalNews.com. Adams' personal philosophy and health statistics are available at www.HealthRanger.org.