Fruitcake

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The top 10 uses for Christmas fruitcakes (satire) Mike Adams, the Health Ranger See article keywords and concepts

When a friend or relative gives you a fruitcake for Christmas, it's like they're saying, "You are so utterly boring that I couldn't think of a single interesting thing to get you for Christmas, so I defaulted to a fruitcake." Because when we're shopping for Christmas presents, the one thing we can all count on is that our friends have mouths. Thus, a fruitcake is never totally irrelevant to a person. It is the least common denominator in the universe of possible Christmas gifts. It's sort of like giving someone toilet paper.

Better yet, save the fruitcake for one full year and give it back to the same person who gave it to you. And tell them the truth, too: "I've been saving this for you for a whole year! And whaddaya know... it even turned green just in time for Christmas!" Whatever you do, don't actually eat the thing. Unless, of course, you want to spend half the next calendar year working off the extra body fat you've stored over the Christmas holiday season. Fruitcakes go right to your belly (men) or hips (women), and they stick there like frozen reindeer snot, refusing to budge until the Spring thaw.

If you actually receive a fruitcake as a gift, thank the gift giver for your new "decoration" and hang it on your front door instead of a Christmas wreathe. Better yet, save the fruitcake for one full year and give it back to the same person who gave it to you. And tell them the truth, too: "I've been saving this for you for a whole year! And whaddaya know... it even turned green just in time for Christmas!" Whatever you do, don't actually eat the thing.

I've never actually eaten a fruitcake, but I've seen lots of them, including one that I'm pretty sure was made with gummy bears. It's not just the name that's hilarious ("Fruit" and "Cake" don't belong in the same food item), but the physical appearance, too, which looks something like the injection molding for some kind of crude landmine. Receiving a fruitcake for Christmas may be the ultimate insult.

If it's a homemade fruitcake made with whole grains, organic fruits and non-refined sugar, I'd probably eat it too. But if it's one of those factory-made fruit cakes, with neon colored fruit, crack cocaine sugar crystals and enough preservatives to give it a shelf life through Christmas '09, then do the world a favor and find an alternate use for the thing. And for God's sake don't leave it out for Santa Claus on Christmas Eve! The guy just got over his diabetes problem and the last thing he needs is a massive sugar jolt while making his rounds.

The Autoimmune Epidemic Donna Jackson Nakazawa See book keywords and concepts

For half a decade, she says, "I was treated like an absolute fruitcake. No one could tell me what was wrong with me, much less treat me." Arntsen's story is not unusual. The average patient with autoimmune disease sees six doctors before attaining a correct diagnosis. Recent surveys conducted by the American Autoimmune Related Diseases Association reveal that 45 percent of patients with autoimmune diseases have been labeled hypochondriacs in the earliest stages of their illnesses.

The Desktop Guide to Herbal Medicine: The Ultimate Multidisciplinary Reference to the Amazing Realm of Healing Plants, in a Quick-study, One-stop Guide Brigitte Mars, A.H.G. See book keywords and concepts

The stems and roots can be candied and made into syrups and jellies or added to fruitcake. They also can be used to season fish. The fresh leaves can be added to salads and soups. The dried leaves are wonderful in baked goods and fruit desserts; their sweetness makes it possible to decrease the amount of refined sugar in the recipe. The oil from the seeds and roots is used in the manufacture of Benedictine, Chartreuse, vermouth, and gin. The herb's flavor is reminiscent of that of juniper berries, celery, and licorice. Other Uses In the language of flowers, angelica denotes inspiration.

Defeating Diabetes Brenda Davis and Tom Barnard See book keywords and concepts

For example, if you absolutely love shortbread cookies, forgo the butter tarts, fruitcake, and chocolate fudge and allow yourself a couple of cookies. Savor them with a cup of tea. At dinner, enjoy small servings of rich foods like stuffing and mashed potatoes, but pile on the vegetables. Remember that serving sizes make a huge difference to your final calorie count. For example, a large slice of carrot cake (Vs of an 8- or 9-inch cake) will set you back about 520 calories while a small piece of carrot cake (Vi6 of that cake) will cost only 260 calories.

Boxes of chocolates, bowls of candy, and trays of cookies and fruitcake begin to appear in the office. Then come the staff parties, open houses, and family festivities—each event being more food-centered than the next. How can anyone survive such consistent temptation unscathed? 137 Your most powerful defense is to be prepared! This chapter will help you respond to challenges in a way that fully supports health and healing. This doesn't mean you'll learn the fine art of how to deprive yourself or avoid celebrations—quite the contrary!

Whole Foods Companion: A Guide For Adventurous Cooks, Curious Shoppers, and lovers of natural foods Dianne Onstad See book keywords and concepts

Candied of crystallized stems are used as a confection once widely known and enjoyed (especially in fruitcake). Savor the stems alone, or use them to decorate cakes, tatts, and other sweet pastries. Ftesh leaves provide a slightly sweet, zesty accent to fruit or vegetable soups and green salads. Dried ground leaves reduce the need for sweetenet in making pies or sauces and add zip to desserts and pastries. The dried ground root has a taste similat to the leaves but is bolder and earthier; this flavor works well in yeasted and quick breads, cakes, muffins, and cookies.

The New Whole Foods Encyclopedia: A Comprehensive Resource for Healthy Eating Rebecca Wood See book keywords and concepts

The cake is tender (not like a holiday fruitcake) and a regal treat. produced in Washington, Colorado, Oregon, Idaho, and Utah. Health Benefits Sweet cherries are a warming food that increases vital energy and tone the spleen-pancreas, liver, and kidneys. Also astringent, they treat involuntary seminal emission. Cherries remove excess body acids and blood stagnation and, when eaten regularly, are therefore therapeutic for gout, paralysis, numbness in the extremities, and rheumatic pain in the lower half of the body. Sweet cherries reduce vata and kapha and can be used in moderation by pitta.

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ABOUT THE CREATOR OF NATURALPEDIA: Mike Adams, the creator of this NaturalNews Naturalpedia, is the editor of NaturalNews.com, the internet's top natural health news site, creator of the Honest Food Guide (www.HonestFoodGuide.org), a free downloadable consumer food guide based on natural health principles, author of Grocery Warning, The 7 Laws of Nutrition, Natural Health Solutions, and many other books available at www.TruthPublishing.com, creator of the earth-friendly EcoLEDs company (www.EcoLEDs.com) that manufactures energy-efficient LED lighting products, founder of Arial Software (www.ArialSoftware.com), a permission e-mail technology company, creator of the CounterThink Cartoon series (www.NaturalNews.com/index-cartoons.html) and author of over 1,500 articles, interviews, special reports and reference guides available at www.NaturalNews.com. Adams' personal philosophy and health statistics are available at www.HealthRanger.org.