 FDA outlaws vitamin D, seeks to destroy sun to protect Americans from sunlight (satire)By Mike Adams, August 18 2006
In a surprising move, the FDA has now banned the manufacture and use of vitamin D, citing studies that show vitamin D to be a powerful physiological substance that needs to undergo FDA approval before individuals are allowed to use it. Since sunlight exposure causes vitamin D production in the human body, individuals who intentionally expose themselves to sunlight will now be arrested and have their blood confiscated by federal health authorities. All citizens are advised to coat themselves with...
 CDC's "Germstoppers" campaign uses low-brow language to teach complex hand washing skills (satire)By Mike Adams, August 4 2006
The Centers for Disease Control (CDC) in the United States has a new program called "Germstoppers." This program consists -- in part -- of a full-page brochure that various institutions -- such as health clinics and hospitals -- can paste in their windows. The "Germstoppers" brochure attempts to educate Americans on how to practice basic sanitation and personal hygiene. What's amusing about this program, however, is how it has become necessary to water down the use of vocabulary in order to make...
 The FDA declares regulatory authority over gravity; bans trampolines and exercise machines (satire)By Mike Adams, May 19 2006
Today the FDA declared that gravity is a medical device and urged Americans to stop using gravity to treat bone health disorders. Gravity has traditionally been used to promote bone mineral density, for without gravity, bones become weak and fragile (as astronauts quickly discovered). But apparently there hasn't been any hard science conducted on this relationship, so the FDA now considers it "unproven quackery."
"There is no convincing evidence to show that gravity offers any health benefits...
 Marijuana under attack for causing memory problems, say forgetful drug researchers (satire)By Mike Adams, April 7 2006
Medical researchers are once again warning about the long-term memory effects of smoking marijuana. Toking on the herb for decades apparently makes your memory, well, dopey. That is, if you believe the study which was based on 40 people found in a drug rehabilitation program who said they only smoked marijuana about 20 times in their entire life.
Right. I've never heard of anyone checking into a rehab center after smoking pot only 20 times. And besides, if pot destroys a person's memory as researchers...
 Health Roundup: Gambling with drugs, Squaretrade failures and counterfeit drugs (satire)By Mike Adams, March 31 2006
The following true story is almost too hilarious to hear sitting down. Prepare to leave your seat. A retired doctor from Austin, Texas named Max Wells is suing multiple drug companies and casinos for $14 million to recoup losses he suffered as a result of -- get this -- prescription drug side effects. The Parkinson's drug he was on, the lawsuit claims, causes compulsive gambling behavior. Dr. Wells, it turns out, was so compulsive that he coughed up $14 million in gambling losses before finally being...
 CounterThink Roundup: The Chinese currency blame game and corporate ethics in America (satire)By Mike Adams, March 24 2006
China's currency valuation is once again under attack by the White House, which claims China isn't letting its currency "float" in a fair way. What is China's currency crime? It has pegged its currency to the U.S. dollar! In other words, the usual dollar manipulation games played by the United States to artificially boost a flailing domestic economy don't work against China, because China's currency rises and falls with the dollar. And that's just not acceptable to U.S. policymakers, who are used...
 Health roundup: Organ harvesting, kidney profits and Haitian headhunters (satire)By Mike Adams, March 24 2006
Further demonstrating that U.S. doctors are, indeed, mad, two doctors are now publicly promoting the idea that it should be legal for people to sell their own kidneys (and other organs) to patients needing transplants. Such a move would, of course, transform the poorest members of society into easily exploitable organ factories for the rich, most of whom only need organ transplants because they abused their own organs in the first place. (The demand for organ transplants from actual trauma is very...
 CounterThink roundup: fictional terrorism, body armor bills, and education (satire)By Mike Adams, March 17 2006
Major news networks have now resorted to FICTIONAL images of buildings being blown up by terrorists to scare Americans into supporting the Bush war empire. A few weeks ago, Bush played the terrorist card and declared that domestic spying had stopped a 2002 terrorist attack against the Library Tower in Los Angeles. Fox News followed up with footage from the movie "Independence Day," where that very same building is decimated by a massive laser blast from a hovering alien spaceship.
So we have fictional...
 Health roundup: The depression patch, McDonald's trans fat goofs and bottled water (satire)By Mike Adams, March 12 2006
The FDA has now approved a patch for depression. Slap one of these patches on your skin, and a slow dose of mind-altering drugs is slowly absorbed into your blood. This approval, of course, comes from the same federal agency that claims skin care and cosmetic products containing toxic chemicals aren't dangerous because the skin doesn't actually absorb anything.
Like most drugs, the approval of this patch for depression is based on the absolutely loony (and scientifically dishonest) idea that depression...
 Health Roundup: Side effects, generic drugs and glucosamine sleight of hand (satire)By Mike Adams, March 10 2006
Following the well-publicized fact that anti-inflammatory prescription drugs have killed at least 60,000 Americans, and that NSAIDs (over-the-counter painkillers) kill at least another 16,500 each year, combined with the new realization that ADHD drugs are now killing children, Sidney Taurel, Chief Executive of Eli Lilly & Co., one of the largest drug makers in the world, had this to say: "There's too much talk about the side effects of drugs!"
I'm not making this up. Taurel claims that really...
 The Uniform Food Ignorance Act (HR 4167) (satire)By Mike Adams, March 6 2006
I have recently learned that the National Uniformity for Food Act (HR 4167) is not what you think. A Washington insider has faxed me documents showing the original wording of the bill, and its original name: the Uniform Food Ignorance Act. This name was apparently changed to make the bill sound more appealing.
In the original Uniform Food Ignorance Act, I found several disturbing passages that I feel obligated to share with you here. You will be absolutely shocked to read these words that reflect...
 Secret recipe revealed for next wave of pharmaceuticals (satire)By Mike Adams, March 3 2006
I recently donned a disguise and was able to sneak into the pharmaceutical laboratory of ConPfuzer Pharmaceuticals. After bribing a couple of low-grade lab technicians grumbling about the falling value of company stock options, I got my hands on a document revealing the secret recipe for the firm's next new wave of pharmaceuticals!
I openly share this with you in an effort to bring attention to what's actually going into these drugs. You'll be shocked!
Here's the recipe revealed in the document...
 Health roundup: Herb bashing, black box warnings and Honey Nut Cheerios (satire)By Mike Adams, February 16 2006
All nutritional supplements have recently been found to be no good for anything. This is according to the latest research from all scientists, reported by all members of the mainstream media. The conclusions have been offered as a way to make scientific reporting more "time efficient," because discrediting herbs one at a time was taking too long.
So in the future, instead of declaring one particular herb to be useless (after ginning up some meta-data study that mysteriously excludes all the legitimate...
 CounterThink Roundup: Fictional economic gains, canned hunting, and the Cheney blame game (satire)By Mike Adams, February 14 2006
The White House, always looking for an opportunity to claim good news where there is none, is touting new economic numbers showing U.S. retail sales surged 2.3 percent in January -- the largest monthly gain in over six years. This spending surge, the White House claims, is proof that the American economy is strong.
Only in America is debt spending equated with economic prosperity. Americans, you see, aren't spending money they've actually saved. By and large, they're spending money they don't...
 Health roundup: Dementia drugs, bullfights and teenage diabetes (satire)By Mike Adams, February 9 2006
Researchers have discovered that common prescription drugs (antidepressants, allergy drugs and more) cause side effects that mimic the onset of dementia. Well finally, this explains why patients who get on one prescription drug always seem to lose their minds and start popping five more drugs (all under doctor's orders, of course).
The reported side effects of these drugs -- called anticholinergics -- include confusion, memory loss and disorientation. These symptoms get diagnosed (surprise!) as...
 Health roundup: Constipation drugs, California cons, and Acupuncture points (satire)By Mike Adams, February 2 2006
The FDA has finally approved a drug for treating chronic constipation. The agency strained over the decision for quite some time before finally unleashing it upon the American public. The real breakthrough? It finally occurred to one FDA bureaucrat that the new anti-obesity drug, Alli (Orlistat) caused so much diarrhea and involuntary anal discharge that it doubled as an anti-constipation drug.
So now it's a two-fer: Take Alli and you can lose weight at the same time you solve your constipation...
 Counterthink roundup: Free Speech, Google News, and Big Brother (satire)By Mike Adams, January 31 2006
New provisions in the Patriot Act, which are about to become law, will make it a felony crime for protestors to step foot outside official "protest zones" designated by the U.S. Secret Service. This is how President Bush expands the freedom of Americans -- by giving them all the freedom they want, as long as they stay in their little fenced cages. These free speech zones, by the way, will be drawn in chalk on the sidewalk, and will be slightly smaller than a pair of size six sneakers.
Apparently...
 Health news roundup: Kraft shrinks, drugs in the drinking water, and obese chickens (satire)By Mike Adams, January 31 2006
Give yourself a round of applause. We're winning the war against junk food manufacturers! Kraft Foods, a company that I would categorize as the largest junk food / processed food manufacturer in the world (also owned by a tobacco company, by the way) has just announced it's slashing jobs and closing manufacturing plants. A whopping 8,000 jobs, to be exact.
That's good news for the health of Americans, because it means fewer factories are churning out disease-promoting junk foods. Overeducated...
 Pledge of Allegiance hijacked by Big Pharma (satire)By Mike Adams, January 26 2006
Under new laws declared by the Bush Administration, Big Pharma will begin funding public education, but schoolchildren will now be required to recite an UPDATED Pledge of Allegiance.
For those who may have forgotten, here's the ORIGINAL Pledge:
I pledge allegiance to the flag
of the United States of America
And to the Republic
For which it stands
One nation
Under God
Indivisible
With liberty and justice for all.
The NEW Pledge of Allegiance, authored by drug company researchers, shall...
 Science news update: Clones, Mars, quantum computing, weapons technology and more (satire)By Mike Adams, January 12 2006
Here's the latest science news that's worth noting:
My clone did it
Our faith in science is now restored! It turns out that Korean stem cell researcher Hwang Woo-suk actually didn't fake his research. His clone did. "The fact that my clone faked this research on stem cells," explained Mr. Hwang, "is proof that my cloning process works." Mr. Hwang is now making arrangements to have his clone fired so that he can get back to the job of fooling prestigious scientific journals (which are busy printing...
Next page ->
|
Most Recent Cartoon: | Cartoon: Honeybees Go on Strike (NaturalNews) The ongoing phenomenon of mysterious honeybee deaths is starting to raise alarm in the food industry, which depends heavily on bees to pollinate many critical crops. "Honeybee health and sustainable pollination is a major issue facing American...
Click to view... |
FREE Online Books and Special Reports: | Seven Words that can Change the WorldPraise for Seven Words...
"Seven Words That Can Change the World reveals the astonishing, simple truths that have the power to forever transform our world for the better while freeing our minds from the enslavement of limiting beliefs. This is not...
Click to read (FREE)... |
 | The Great HPV Vaccine Hoax Exposed(NaturalNews) For the last several years, HPV vaccines have been marketed to the public and mandated in compulsory injections for young girls in several states based on the idea that they prevent cervical cancer. Now, NaturalNews has obtained documents...
Click to read (FREE)... |
 | Breast Cancer DeceptionWelcome to Breast Cancer Deception, an eye-opening special report by Mike Adams, the Health Ranger. This is a shocking, tell-all report that exposes the scam of today's breast cancer industry, revealing how conventional breast cancer detection and treatment...
Click to read (FREE)... |
Most Recent Video: | Video: Fidolin ADHD Medication Ad Parody Fidolin - the new drug for ADHDD and ADHD, approved for use on both dogs and children! This parody ad by the Health Ranger mimics the idiocy of television ads pushing mind-altering drugs for fictitious diseases like ADHD. It was filmed in Tucson, Arizona...
Click to view... |
Most Recent Podcast: | Podcast: Health Ranger Show #34: Dr. Coco March on Delicious Greens 8000 SuperfoodListen to this exclusive interview with Dr. Coco March about her Delicious Greens 8000 product, which combined a carefully-balanced recipe of healing nutrients with a superior taste that even kids enjoy!
Click to listen (MP3)... |
Most Recent Feature Article: | Item: Earthquake and Cyclone Victims: How Can We Help End Suffering Now and In the Future?(NaturalNews) I've struggled all week with the question of how I can best help the victims of the recent natural disasters that have devastated populations in China and Myanmar. It is not a simple matter to ponder. How can people in North America (or...
Click to read... |
Most Recent Interview: | Item: Michael T. Murray Interviewed about Weight Loss on the Health Ranger Show(NaturalNews) A few weeks ago, I sat down with natural health author Michael T. Murray to talk about nutrition and weight loss. That full interview has now been published on NaturalNews.com as a downloadable MP3 file, available here: http://www.naturalnews.com/index-podcasts.html
Michael...
Click to read... |
|
|
