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December 31, 2007 by: Mike Adams, the Health Ranger
(NaturalNews Satire) On the heels of the RIAA's recent decision to criminalize consumers who rip songs from albums they've purchased to their computers (or iPods), the association has now gone one step further and declared that "remembering songs" using your brain is criminal copyright infringement. "The brain is a recording device," explained RIAA president Cary Sherman. "The act of listening is an...
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Original NaturalNews stories (refresh for latest)
 | 12/31/2007 - (NaturalNews Satire) On the heels of the RIAA's recent decision to criminalize consumers who rip songs from albums they've purchased to their computers (or iPods), the association has now gone one step... |
 | 11/18/2007 - In this NaturalNews weekend edition, we're introducing six must-see online movies that educate, inform, inspire and at times may even outrage you. First up is the classic "Sweet Misery" by Cori Brackett... |
 | 9/28/2007 - On a recent road trip to Phoenix, Arizona, I stopped to take a driving break and found myself staring in disbelief at the scene depicted in ... |
 | 5/11/2007 - (Warning: Contains graphic descriptions of human anatomy.) This past weekend, I worked up the courage to visit the Body Worlds exhibit in a local science museum. This is where they take the bodies... |
 | 5/11/2007 - NetFlix is the best service in the world for renting an unlimited number of cracked, scratched and otherwise unplayable DVDs. Through my NetFlix membership, I have been able to rent a shattered version... |
 | 2/5/2007 - Every once in a while, a really smart movie comes along that shows you just how stupid modern society is by shoving it in your face. "Idiocracy" is precisely such a film. Filled with purposeful profanity... |
 | 1/19/2007 - In late October, 2006, Sen. John Kerry put himself in hot water with a joke that implied U.S. troops were, shall we say, less than "A" students. Republicans convulsed in an uproar, claiming that the troops... |
 | 1/14/2007 - First, a warning: This article may be considered extremely gross or nauseating by some readers. It's about where red meat actually comes from and the mental distortions maintained by people who eat large... |
 | 12/25/2006 - Following weeks of nutritional therapy and exercise, Santa Claus today declared himself free of type-2 diabetes and produced lab test results showing a fasting glucose level of 96 mg/dL – well below the... |
 | 12/22/2006 - For as long as I can remember, the Christmas fruitcake has been a terrific source of holiday humor. I've never actually eaten a fruitcake, but I've seen lots of them, including one that I'm pretty sure... |
 | 12/15/2006 - Earlier this month, Santa Claus was diagnosed with type-2 diabetes. By working with a team of top nutritionists, he has already improved his diet by eliminating foods and beverages that promote diabetes... |
 | 10/20/2006 - More than thirty-five million Americans may currently be suffering from a newly-discovered disorder that affects brain chemistry, behavior and health: Television Deficiency Disorder, or TDD for short.... |
 | 9/14/2006 - What are CounterThoughts? They're the commonsense questions you ask yourself when you see something in the world that just doesn't make any sense. They're a glitch in the Matrix. You know, like when you... |
 | 8/18/2006 - In a surprising move, the FDA has now banned the manufacture and use of vitamin D, citing studies that show vitamin D to be a powerful physiological substance that needs to undergo FDA approval before... |
 | 8/4/2006 - The Centers for Disease Control (CDC) in the United States has a new program called "Germstoppers." This program consists -- in part -- of a full-page brochure that various institutions -- such as health... |
 | 5/19/2006 - Today the FDA declared that gravity is a medical device and urged Americans to stop using gravity to treat bone health disorders. Gravity has traditionally been used to promote bone mineral density, for... |
 | 4/7/2006 - Medical researchers are once again warning about the long-term memory effects of smoking marijuana. Toking on the herb for decades apparently makes your memory, well, dopey. That is, if you believe the... |
 | 3/31/2006 - The following true story is almost too hilarious to hear sitting down. Prepare to leave your seat. A retired doctor from Austin, Texas named Max Wells is suing multiple drug companies and casinos for $14... |
 | 3/24/2006 - China's currency valuation is once again under attack by the White House, which claims China isn't letting its currency "float" in a fair way. What is China's currency crime? It has pegged its currency... |
 | 3/24/2006 - Further demonstrating that U.S. doctors are, indeed, mad, two doctors are now publicly promoting the idea that it should be legal for people to sell their own kidneys (and other organs) to patients needing... |
 | 3/17/2006 - Major news networks have now resorted to FICTIONAL images of buildings being blown up by terrorists to scare Americans into supporting the Bush war empire. A few weeks ago, Bush played the terrorist card... |
 | 3/12/2006 - The FDA has now approved a patch for depression. Slap one of these patches on your skin, and a slow dose of mind-altering drugs is slowly absorbed into your blood. This approval, of course, comes from... |
 | 3/10/2006 - Following the well-publicized fact that anti-inflammatory prescription drugs have killed at least 60,000 Americans, and that NSAIDs (over-the-counter painkillers) kill at least another 16,500 each year... |
 | 3/6/2006 - I have recently learned that the National Uniformity for Food Act (HR 4167) is not what you think. A Washington insider has faxed me documents showing the original wording of the bill, and its original... |
 | 3/3/2006 - I recently donned a disguise and was able to sneak into the pharmaceutical laboratory of ConPfuzer Pharmaceuticals. After bribing a couple of low-grade lab technicians grumbling about the falling value... |
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| 5/19/2006 The FDA declares regulatory authority over gravity; bans trampolines and exercise machines (satire) | | 4/7/2006 Marijuana under attack for causing memory problems, say forgetful drug researchers (satire) | | 3/31/2006 Health Roundup: Gambling with drugs, Squaretrade failures and counterfeit drugs (satire) | | 3/24/2006 CounterThink Roundup: The Chinese currency blame game and corporate ethics in America (satire) | | 3/24/2006 Health roundup: Organ harvesting, kidney profits and Haitian headhunters (satire) | | 3/17/2006 CounterThink roundup: fictional terrorism, body armor bills, and education (satire) | | 3/12/2006 Health roundup: The depression patch, McDonald's trans fat goofs and bottled water (satire) | | 3/10/2006 Health Roundup: Side effects, generic drugs and glucosamine sleight of hand (satire) | | 3/6/2006 The Uniform Food Ignorance Act (HR 4167) (satire) | | 3/3/2006 Secret recipe revealed for next wave of pharmaceuticals (satire) | | 2/16/2006 Health roundup: Herb bashing, black box warnings and Honey Nut Cheerios (satire) | | 2/14/2006 CounterThink Roundup: Fictional economic gains, canned hunting, and the Cheney blame game (satire) | | 2/9/2006 Health roundup: Dementia drugs, bullfights and teenage diabetes (satire) | | 2/2/2006 Health roundup: Constipation drugs, California cons, and Acupuncture points (satire) | | 1/31/2006 Counterthink roundup: Free Speech, Google News, and Big Brother (satire) |
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Highest Rated
Humor Articles
• RIAA Declares Using Brain to Remember Songs is Criminal Copyright Infringement (satire)
• Marijuana under attack for causing memory problems, say forgetful drug researchers (satire)
• Strike a pose! BodyWorlds exhibit features human bodies preserved with industrial food chemicals (satire)
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