Ban bananas! Police say man attacked girlfriend with banana

Friday, January 03, 2014 by: J. D. Heyes
Tags: bananas, domestic violence, police arrest

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(NaturalNews) As Robin Williams' character in "Mrs. Doubtfire" said, perhaps it was a "drive-by fruiting."

But police in Miami say a man launched an attack against his girlfriend using a deadly - banana. If Michael Bloomberg were mayor, he'd most likely be calling for a ban on "assault fruit."

As reported by Miami's NBC affiliate:

Phillip Joseph Smolinsky, 36, was arrested [recently] on charges of domestic battery and resisting arrest without violence related to the fruit fight, according to the Pasco County Sheriff's Office.

Makes you wonder if he threatened deputies with a Florida orange. Or perhaps a prickly pineapple:

He was being held without bond Thursday, jail records showed. It was unknown whether he has an attorney.

When deputies responded to Smolinsky's Port Richey home, his live-in girlfriend told them he had thrown a banana at her, WFLA reported. Smolinsky denied the accusation and said she had thrown the banana at him.

Upon further "investigation," however, deputies found damning evidence. Officers found that the girlfriend's face was slightly red where she told them she was struck by the assault banana, according to an arrest affidavit.

And deputies found the actual piece of fruit in the garbage later; parts of the peel were discovered on the ground as well.

When deputies sought to arrest Smolinsky, the reports said, he resisted - and he had to be subdued with a vegetable-based product: pepper spray.

Yep. You just can't make this kind of stuff up.


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