(NaturalNews) Your friendly neighborhood psychiatrist is not above making new year's resolutions. After all, he needs to improve himself just like the rest of us. Here are the likely top ten!
1. Try not to commit suicide
Research suggests psychiatrists have a higher suicide rate than the general public, twice what would be expected. They also take their own lives more than any other type of doctor.
Many folks think this is because they deal with people's problems all day - a depressing endeavor. I disagree. Psychiatrists don't deal with people's problems. They prescribe drugs. In the end, drugs are not a solution to problems.
So, psychiatrists are involved in people's problems while not providing any solutions. This is the depressing part.
2. Deal more drugs
It is all they know how to do, so this resolution is critical. Drugs are the backbone of psychiatric intervention! Falling behind the times in this area is unthinkable.
3. Label more people mentally ill
Yes, marketing is the key to business success. Psychiatry's primary marketing plan is to convince normal people with normal problems that they are mentally ill. It's called "market expansion."
4. Study the brain less
Dr. Daniel Amen, a psychiatrist who has challenged conventional psychiatry, once told me that psychiatry is the only medical profession that doesn't study the organ it pretends to treat. Psychiatrists do not treat the brain. They treat fuzzy concepts like "biochemical imbalances" that they cannot explain or prove.
5. Avoid psychology and human relations
A few mental health counselors and some personal coaches who buck mainstream trends actually do study human relations and how the mind works. Psychiatrists don't study or practice therapeutic intervention of any kind.
6. Spend less time with patients
Yeah, let's get that 12-minute appointment down to ten minutes this year! After all, we are only dealing with people's lives.
7. Schmooze that cute drug rep some more
Industry insiders know the deal. The pharmaceutical companies send in a cute drug rep that flirts her way into the doctor's good graces. Then she can move her lines, coaxing the docs to use her samples and so on. Wink, wink! Male docs fall for this all the time.
8. Prescribe more drugs to treat side effects of other drugs
Ah, the medication roller coaster! When a patient begins to have side effects from one drug, the idea is to give him another drug, too. Then, a third drug to deal with the side effects from the second drug, and so on. With a little luck and some good salesmanship, perhaps we can get patients on 10 or more. That would be a good, average goal.
9. Close the mind further to natural healing
Psychiatrists are notoriously closed-minded to natural medicine and real mental health solutions that might compromise their drug trade. Always a good idea to sharpen up the criticism and close the mind a bit tighter.
10. Be more convinced of your superiority
Goal: stare in the mirror every morning with your most smug look and say, "I really am better than everyone!"
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