Seven rarely mentioned requirements for happiness

Friday, September 21, 2012 by: Mike Bundrant
Tags: happiness, how-to, recipe

eTrust Pro Certified

Delicious Pin It
(NaturalNews) I put together the following list of requirements for happiness based on research as well as my experience as a counselor and coach.

1. Inner alignment

One of the best ways to be miserable is to live in conflict with you. Sometimes we conflict ourselves by trying to live opposing values. For example, some men try to be a family man and a playboy at the same time. Their values for family and their values for fun with women conflict heavily. The result is hypocrisy and misery all around.

Other people create inner conflict by trying to please too many people, all of whom want different things. Still others live out of alignment by through shear dishonesty. Regardless of how to get there, misalignment sends you in opposing directions, making happiness impossible.

A prerequisite to happiness is inner alignment and simplicity. You know your priorities and don't spend time on other things.

2. A primal companion

A primal companion is a term I coined for your deepest friends and lovers, those whom you have allowed to get behind your defenses and public front. A primal companion knows who you really are and still loves you.

Often friends and lovers are not primal. They don't know who you are because you hide yourself from them. This is fine for most common friendships, colleagues and acquaintances. If you are in a marriage with someone who doesn't know how you really feel or think, then you cannot be happy in that relationship.

To be happy, everyone needs at least one primal companion in life - someone who knows you deeply and whom you can trust with your deepest thoughts and feelings. Of course, most studies that factor in long-term relationships cannot evaluate the quality or depth of the relationships. Still, research concludes that long-term relationships significantly increase happiness and decrease depression.

3. A true projection

My wife's goal in life is to be the same person on the outside as she is on the inside. If she thinks or feels it, she expresses it. I have never seen her hide from anyone. Most people call her courageous, yet she takes it for granted. She says she is not willing to live with the anxiety that comes from putting out a false message.

When you project a false front, you automatically create anxiety by having something to hide, even if others have no idea that you are doing it. You still create the threat of being discovered in your own mind. Whether you project yourself as more or less than you actually are, you are hiding the truth, which is a pressure cooker.

This one boils down to honesty, which Americans don't take all that seriously. Research suggests that the average American tells 11 lies per week. Interestingly, research also suggests that your health can be improved by discontinuing the stream of lies and half-truths that flow from most people's mouths.

4. A clean diet

Of course we know toxic food creates bad health. It also creates mood disorders. Years of processed sugar alone will depress the immune system and create a physiological depression. There are even cross-cultural links between sugar and depression, with an established correlation between the prevalence of depression and sugar use across several cultures.

A totally clean diet is best: organic, non-GMO food, pure water, nothing processed or artificial, lots of raw stuff. However, if you need a place to start, eliminate processed sugar.

5. A realistic goal

I cannot remember the last time someone came to me for coaching and said, "I want to live an ordinary life. You know, I want to find more meaning in what I already have, rather than search for more. My goal is to be a typical person who enjoys life."

People often pursue crazy, unrealistic goals and wonder why they are stressed and discouraged. Crazy, unrealistic goals create stress, pressure and anxiety until discouragement settles in and you give up. Have you ever done this?

Amazingly, happiness is available any time we look around, count our blessings and make the most of what we have. As soon as we begin to desire something beyond, we create dissatisfaction.

This is why I love setting goals that are just a few steps beyond where you are right now. It keeps a forward momentum and does not create dissatisfaction by comparison to what you have.

6. A view of others as people like you

Happy, well-adjusted people see others as similar to themselves. Over 30 years, the Arbinger Institute has created an impressive collection of stories that demonstrate people's lives change the moment they begin to see others as people, too.

The concept is deceptively simple. As soon as you acknowledge that other people have wants, needs, desires and feelings that are as real to them as yours are to you, your life changes. You become more responsive, respectful and compassionate. Your perspective broadens and you begin to live in harmony with those around you. For most people, this is a massive paradigm shift.

7. An engaged mind

The happiness bottom line is the conscious use of your own mind. When you consciously engage your brain in any task, you automatically relax. In a real way, it doesn't matter as much what you are engage in, as long as you are present and intentional in how you use your attention.

Try this: Listen to the sound of a fan, or the refrigerator. Tune in to some monotonous white noise. Do it consciously and intentionally. Just listen and do nothing else. After 10-20 seconds, you will feel yourself settle a bit inwardly. This relaxation is your brain's response to conscious use, as opposed to autopilot use.

Your mind was designed for conscious use. It won't be happy any other way.

About the author:
Watch the free video The AHA! Process: An End to Self-Sabotage and discover the lost keys to personal transformation and emotional well-being that have been suppressed by mainstream mental health for decades.

The information in this video has been called the missing link in mental health and personal development. In a world full of shallow, quick-fix techniques, second rate psychology and pharmaceutical takeovers, real solutions have become nearly impossible to find. Click here to watch the presentation that will turn your world upside down.

Mike Bundrant is co-founder of the iNLP Center and host of Mental Health Exposed, a Natural News Radio program.

Follow Mike on Facebook for daily personal development tips.

Get breaking news alerts on GMOs, fluoride, superfoods, natural cures and more...
Join over four million monthly readers. Email privacy 100% protected. Unsubscribe at any time.

Have comments on this article? Post them here:

comments powered by Disqus

Take Action: Support

Email this article to a friend

Permalink to this article:

Reprinting this article: Non-commercial use OK, cite with clickable link.

Embed article link: (copy HTML code below):
Most Popular
Today | Week | Month | Year

See all Top Headlines...


Now Available at

O3 Essentials OraJuvenate™
A powerful, cleansing dental cream for maximum oral/dental health.
New Cancer Solutions
Over 3 hours of content covering today’s best cancer tests, how to kill cancer cells and the best diets and exercise routines.
Freeze-Dried 100% Organic Whole Corn
Our freeze-drying method preserves taste, texture and nutrients better than any other food preservation method ever invented.
Fenix TK35 Flashlight
Tough, waterproof, extremely bright and it’s touted to throw an 800+ lumen beam more than 1,000 feet into the night.
Inca Treasure Smoothie Pack
This pack of our four most popular superfoods from South America is the perfect combo pack for smoothie lovers.
Pink Himalayan Salt
This salt delivers significant levels of magnesium, zinc and selenium, with trace levels of dozens of other elements.
Pinhole Glasses - Aviator Style
Pinhole glasses are becoming famous for helping people improve their vision without the risks of laser surgery.
Oxy-Rich Facial Serum
O3 Essentials Jojoba Oxy-Rich Facial Serum is cellular nourishment for your skin. Helps smooth fine lines while enhancing tissue elasticity.
Freeze-Dried 100% Blackberry Halves
Our freeze-dried blackberry halves are grown in Serbia under strict organic standards.

Also on NaturalNews:

Health Ranger Videos
Activist music
CounterThink Cartoons
Food documentaries
FREE Special Reports
Colloidal Silver

Advertise with NaturalNews...

Support NaturalNews Sponsors:

Advertise with NaturalNews...

Most Popular Stories

Flu shot kills 19-year-old, but vaccine industry still has total immunity against lawsuits
Here's a nutty fact: Eating more tree nuts lowers the risk of all-cause death by up to 20 percent
Six important facts you're not being told about lost Malaysia Airlines Flight 370
Malaysia Airlines Flight 370 now clearly a government cover-up: All evidence contradicts official story
10 other companies that use the same Subway yoga mat chemical in their buns
BLM fracking racket exposed! Armed siege and cattle theft from Bundy ranch really about fracking leases
High-dose vitamin C injections shown to annihilate cancer
U.S. treating meat with ammonia, bleach and antibiotics to kill the '24-hour sickness'
USDA to allow U.S. to be overrun with contaminated chicken from China
Vaccine fraud exposed: Measles and mumps making a huge comeback because vaccines are designed to fail, say Merck virologists
Battle for humanity nearly lost: global food supply deliberately engineered to end life, not nourish it
Diet soda, aspartame linked to premature deaths in women

25 Amazing Facts About Food

This FREE downloadable report unveils a collection of astonishing and little-known facts about the food we eat very day. Click here to read it now...


Resveratrol and its Effects on Human Health and Longevity - Myth or Miracle.

Unlock the secrets of cellular health with the "miracle" nutrient Resveratrol Click here to read it now...


Nutrition Can Save America

FREE online report shows how we can save America through a nutrition health care revolution. "Eating healthy is patriotic!" Click here to read it now...

The Healing Power of Sunlight and Vitamin D

In this exclusive interview, Dr. Michael Holick reveals fascinating facts on how vitamin D is created and used in the human body to ward off chronic diseases like cancer, osteoporosis, mental disorders and more. Click here to read it now...

Vaccines: Get the Full Story

The International Medical Council on Vaccination has released, exclusively through, a groundbreaking document containing the signatures of physicians, brain surgeons and professors, all of which have signed on to a document stating that vaccines pose a significant risk of harm to the health of children. Click here to read it now...

Health Ranger Storable Organics

GMO-free, chemical-free foods and superfoods for long-term storage and preparedness. See selection at

Recommended Resources On:

Natural News trends
Health Ranger news
Natural News GMOs
Mike Adams tracker
Natural News photos
Natural News Global
Natural News in focus
Natural News connect
Natural News shocking stories
Natural News radar
Health freedom
Dr. Paul Offit

This site is part of the Natural News Network © 2014 All Rights Reserved. Privacy | Terms All content posted on this site is commentary or opinion and is protected under Free Speech. Truth Publishing International, LTD. is not responsible for content written by contributing authors. The information on this site is provided for educational and entertainment purposes only. It is not intended as a substitute for professional advice of any kind. Truth Publishing assumes no responsibility for the use or misuse of this material. Your use of this website indicates your agreement to these terms and those published here. All trademarks, registered trademarks and servicemarks mentioned on this site are the property of their respective owners.

eTrust Pro Certified Android app on Google Play

Sign up for the FREE Natural News Email Newsletter

Receive breaking news on GMOs, vaccines, fluoride, radiation protection, natural cures, food safety alerts and interviews with the world's top experts on natural health and more.

Join over 7 million monthly readers of, the internet's No. 1 natural health news site. (Source:

Your email address *

Please enter the code you see above*

No Thanks

Already have it and love it!

Natural News supports and helps fund these organizations:

* Required. Once you click submit, we will send you an email asking you to confirm your free registration. Your privacy is assured and your information is kept confidential. You may unsubscribe at anytime.