Holistic Communication: Even the alternative community isn't ready for THIS

Tuesday, July 24, 2012 by: Mike Bundrant
Tags: holistic, communication, hidden feelings

eTrust Pro Certified

Most Viewed Articles
Popular on Facebook
BACK INTO THE CLOSET: Why U.S. reporters are not allowed to write about rainbow events in nations where being gay is still condemned
Depopulation test run? 75% of children who received vaccines in Mexican town now dead or hospitalized
A family destroyed: Six-month-old dies after clinic injects baby with 13 vaccines at once without mother's informed consent
INVESTIGATION: Three days before Dr. Bradstreet was found dead in a river, U.S. govt. agents raided his research facility to seize a breakthrough cancer treatment called GcMAF
BAM! Chipotle goes 100% non-GMO; flatly rejecting the biotech industry and its toxic food ingredients
BOMBSHELL: China and America already at war: Tianjin explosion carried out by Pentagon space weapon in retaliation for Yuan currency devaluation... Military helicopters now patrolling Beijing
ECONOMIC SLAVERY FOR ALL: While we were distracted with the Confederate flag flap, Congress quietly forfeited our entire economic future via fast-track trade authority
March Against Monsanto explodes globally... World citizens stage massive protests across 38 countries, 428 cities... mainstream media pretends it never happened
GMO crops totally banned in Russia... powerful nation blocks Monsanto's agricultural imperialism and mass poisoning of the population
SCOTUS same-sex marriage decision may have just legalized the concealed carry of loaded firearms across all 50 states, nullifying gun laws everywhere
Nearly every mass shooting in the last 20 years shares one surprising thing? and it's not guns
Vicious attack on Dr. Oz actually waged by biotech mafia; plot to destroy Oz launched after episode on glyphosate toxicity went viral
Holistic cancer treatment pioneer Dr. Nicholas Gonzalez dies suddenly; patients mourn the loss of a compassionate, innovative doctor who helped thousands heal from cancer
Pepsi drops aspartame from diet soda as consumers reject toxic sweetener
Bride of Frankenfood: Hillary Clinton pushes GMO agenda... hires Monsanto lobbyist... takes huge dollars from Monsanto
STATINS RED ALERT: Widely prescribed drugs act as cellular poisons that accelerate aging... deactivate DNA repair... promote diabetes, muscle fatigue and memory loss
Wild eyes and bowl cuts: Why do mass shooters always share the same hair styles and crazed zombie stares?
Mind control through emotional domination: How we're all being manipulated by the "crisis of the NOW"
(NaturalNews) As the mainstream struggles to accept alternative health, even staunch supporters cry foul when introduced to holistic communication.

It may be that communicating with the whole person and respecting the underlying causes in the arena of interpersonal communication are simply too much for most everyone.

My fascination with holistic communication began in the 1980's in high school psychology class. We were studying micro-expressions, the ever brief facial expressions that often contradict the primary verbal message.

I was fascinated that a person could speak the words "thank you" while their face simultaneously flashed a lightning-fast expression that said something more along the lines of "f*** you!" Intrigued, I learned to observe a new level of interaction, eventually studying the field of Neuro-Linguistic Programming and non-verbal communication.

Hidden feelings are nearly universal

People are rarely taught to value feelings, especially the darker or socially unacceptable kind. In fact, most children are punished for feeling resentful, angry, jealous, afraid, spiteful, rebellious, greedy, nervous, and so on.

Fearing rejection or punishment, people eventually learn to hide darker feelings, which quickly assume their position beneath words, breaking through to the surface - often at the most inopportune times - through facial expressions, voice tones, hard blinking, stiff posture and other non-verbal forms of communication.

Fortunately, most people pretend not to notice. We practice avoiding our own underlying, socially unacceptable feelings, as well as those of others! Who wants to deal with all the ugliness? The problem is, studies suggest that repressing emotions is harmful to your overall health, causing high stress and high blood pressure, among other health concerns.

The strange woman who forced me to communicate holistically

I am a participant in and supporter of psychiatric orgone therapy. Brainchild of Dr. Wilhelm Reich, this bold and holistic, body-centered therapy model aims to relax emotional armoring, the rigid patterns of muscle tension that serve to repress and hold back powerful yet socially unacceptable emotions.

In one particular session, I thanked my doctor, Mary Lou MacIlvaine, for something she did that I found helpful. Her reply was, "I heard the words, but what did your eyes say?"

"I'm not sure, but I suppose I was glaring at you," I confessed.

"Yes, you were and you tend to do that. So, let's just say that from now on - in here - you follow any 'thank you' with a 'f*** you.'"

Now THAT is a holistic approach!

It honestly took into account the whole of my feelings on the matter. The next time I felt to thank her, I did so, followed by a familiar resentment and a solid curse. To my amazement, I felt complete because my communication was complete. My underlying resentment of this crazy lady who had been challenging my dearest assumptions for months was finally coming through freely.

Of course, you must think I am nuts, but consider the following:

• The super nice woman who continually does for others, and never complains except under her breath.

• The tough guy that looks like a scared little boy in the briefest moments of vulnerability.

• The child who promises to obey and reminds mom and dad how much he loves them, then promptly continues doing what he wants with a scowl on his face.

• The preacher who entertains prostitutes on the side. The prostitute, alluring and sexy on the outside, hates the man with a passion while letting him have his way with her.

• The man called "Mr. Natural" who, at night, takes out his strong box, kept under lock and key, then pulls out a Hostess Twinkie and pops it in his mouth!

• The enlightened one who embraces the Universal laws of love and light, guiding others toward certain fulfillment and prosperity, who silently stresses over money and can barely pay the rent.

And so forth. The above are not merely examples pulled out of thin air, but real life scenarios that I have personally encountered as a therapist and coach. In other words, underlying causes of mental, emotional and relationship problems are for real. They are continually brewing just under the surface and must be dealt with if we are to become mentally, emotionally and spiritually whole.

The problem is, these issues are UGLY!

So is a fatty liver, a leaky gut and an intestinal parasite. In the holistic community we have no problem slinging these terms around as if we had unveiled a fine gem. Why not embrace and express all of our ugly feelings when we feel them? If we are committed "whole-ists" then why do we bite back the part of our message that is the ugliest?

We hold back because we want to keep our jobs, spare our children, preserve our marriage, keep the public peace and stay out of jail. Holding back raw emotion is the wise thing to do in most situations.

Now what?

Some people think the answer is to find a safe place to "let it all out" like I have suggested with the holistic thank you technique. This is worthwhile, but not the ultimate answer. The solution lies in the mature expression of our deeper feelings.

Feelings and attitudes of all kinds exist. To pretend otherwise, or cover up the underlying tension, is like treating surface symptoms and only acknowledging part of the person. The whole truth remains half-buried and this does not lead to healthy, whole, honest relationships.

The problem is, are you supposed to express your anger "in a mature way" to your boss who'd rather not hear it? Probably not. We're in a real pickle between the demands of the social world and the realities of emotional life.

Still, there is a place to start - with the people closest to you. Slowly become aware and learn to express your whole self in a mature and respectful way. Regardless of what you may be feeling, there is a respectful way to communicate it and give those you care about feedback from your entire self; the good, the bad, the ugly and the beautiful. It's all part of living holistically.

Sources for this article include:

About the author:
Watch the free video The AHA! Process: An End to Self-Sabotage and discover the lost keys to personal transformation and emotional well-being that have been suppressed by mainstream mental health for decades.

The information in this video has been called the missing link in mental health and personal development. In a world full of shallow, quick-fix techniques, second rate psychology and pharmaceutical takeovers, real solutions have become nearly impossible to find. Click here to watch the presentation that will turn your world upside down.

Mike Bundrant is co-founder of the iNLP Center and host of Mental Health Exposed, a Natural News Radio program.

Follow Mike on Facebook for daily personal development tips.

Follow real-time breaking news headlines on
Holistic at FETCH.news
Join over four million monthly readers. Your privacy is protected. Unsubscribe at any time.
comments powered by Disqus
Take Action: Support NaturalNews.com by linking back to this article from your website

Permalink to this article:

Embed article link: (copy HTML code below):

Reprinting this article:
Non-commercial use OK, cite NaturalNews.com with clickable link.

Follow Natural News on Facebook, Twitter, Google Plus, and Pinterest

Colloidal Silver

Advertise with NaturalNews...

Support NaturalNews Sponsors:

Advertise with NaturalNews...


Sign up for the FREE Natural News Email Newsletter

Receive breaking news on GMOs, vaccines, fluoride, radiation protection, natural cures, food safety alerts and interviews with the world's top experts on natural health and more.

Join over 7 million monthly readers of NaturalNews.com, the internet's No. 1 natural health news site. (Source: Alexa.com)

Your email address *

Please enter the code you see above*

No Thanks

Already have it and love it!

Natural News supports and helps fund these organizations:

* Required. Once you click submit, we will send you an email asking you to confirm your free registration. Your privacy is assured and your information is kept confidential. You may unsubscribe at anytime.