bacteria

Homeland Security declares war on flesh-eating bacteria, a bigger threat than Al-Qaeda terrorists (satire)

Sunday, May 27, 2012 by: Ethan A. Huff, staff writer
Tags: flesh-eating bacteria, terrorism, homeland security

eTrust Pro Certified

Most Viewed Articles
Popular on Facebook
CDC issues flu vaccine apology: this year's vaccine doesn't work!
Biologist explains how marijuana causes tumor cells to commit suicide
Depopulation test run? 75% of children who received vaccines in Mexican town now dead or hospitalized
BAM! Chipotle goes 100% non-GMO; flatly rejecting the biotech industry and its toxic food ingredients
Companies begin planting microchips under employees' skin
U2's Bono partners with Monsanto to destroy African agriculture with GMOs
NJ cops bust teenagers shoveling snow without a permit
Russia throws down the gauntlet: energy supply to Europe cut off; petrodollar abandoned as currency war escalates
McDonald's in global profit free fall as people everywhere increasingly reject chemically-altered toxic fast food
Chemotherapy kills cancer patients faster than no treatment at all
Why flu shots are the greatest medical fraud in history
600 strains of an aerosolized thought control vaccine already tested on humans; deployed via air, food and water
Flu vaccine kills 13 in Italy; death toll rises
Italian court rules mercury and aluminum in vaccines cause autism: US media continues total blackout of medical truth
The 21 curious questions we're never allowed to ask about vaccines
Vicious attack on Dr. Oz actually waged by biotech mafia; plot to destroy Oz launched after episode on glyphosate toxicity went viral
Orthorexia Nervosa - New mental disorder aimed at people who insist on eating a clean diet
Whooping cough outbreak at Massachusetts high school affected only vaccinated students

Delicious
(NaturalNews) A former Florida resident who now lives in Peru recently filed a lawsuit against a doctor whose negligence, he says, resulted in his penis being completely eaten by flesh-eating bacteria. In a bizarre case of bacterial terrorism, 65-year-old Enrique Milla says Dr. Laurentiu Boeru, the anesthesiologist who cleared him for penile implant surgery, failed to properly identify Milla's diabetes before approving the procedure, which resulted in Milla's private parts developing irreversible gangrene.

Milla's infection, which reportedly turned gangrenous nine days after his surgery, became so severe that the man's penis literally had to be amputated, leaving him in worse shape than before his surgery when erectile dysfunction was his only concern. Because of his loss, Milla and his wife have filed lawsuits against both Milla's urologist and Dr. Boeru, the latter from which they are seeking "tens of millions of dollars" in compensation.

In a similar incident, 43-year-old Katy Hayes, a mother of three, is now a quadruple amputee as a result of becoming infected by flesh-eating bacteria while giving birth to one of her daughters back in 2010. Both of Hayes' arms and both of her legs eventually had to be amputated in order to save her life, and her family is now trying to raise $200,000 to cover both her medical expenses and the costs associated with the double-arm transplant she is planning to receive later this summer.

Homeland Security declares war on flesh-eating bacteria

Concerned about the growing problem of bacterial terrorism both here and abroad, the U.S. Department of Homeland Security (DHS) has announced that it will now shift its focus from Al-Qaeda and those pesky, gun-toting American patriots, to flesh-devouring "superbugs." According to DHS Secretary Janet Napolitano, Americans need to be primarily on the lookout for flesh-eating bacteria, and if they spot them, to report their location immediately to DHS.

An updated DHS announcement about flesh-eating bacteria is reportedly now being aired at Walmart stores throughout the U.S. as well, warning shoppers to be wary of bacterial terrorists that might be lurking throughout the store. Sec. Napolitano can also be seen in this video announcement urging shoppers to keep a close eye on other shoppers, as well as on their friends, family, and neighbors, who might be harboring flesh-eating bacteria in their vehicles or homes.

According to the federal government, the biggest threat now facing Americans is the potential for flesh-eating bacteria to invade commercial airliners. To address this critical threat to national security, the U.S. Transportation Security Administration (TSA) has decided to replace airport naked body scanners with full-body swab tests that detect the presence of flesh-eating bacteria on skin and clothing.

TSA will now require that each traveler fully strip off his or her clothes, and stand in an upright position as TSA screeners wipe a damp cloth up and down the traveler's body. In order to respect travelers' privacy rights, TSA screeners will be required to rub the cloth with the back of their hand, rather than their fingers, when moving over travelers' private areas.

The cloth, as well as travelers' clothes, are then to be inserted into a revolutionary flesh-eating bacteria detection machine, while travelers move through the second step of screening which involves the probing of their bodily orifices by a second TSA screener for hidden flesh-eating bacteria, explosives, and other weapons of terrorism. The entire process is absolutely necessary, say authorities, to protect Americans and ensure their safety and security while flying.

"We are always looking for new technology and procedures that will both enhance security while strengthening privacy protections," said TSA Administrator John Pistole during a recent interview. "Swabbing air travelers' naked bodies and probing their rectums for flesh-eating bacteria will provide TSA with the latest and most advanced tools it needs to ensure that America remains protected against the continuous threat of terrorism."

The U.S. Congress also recently passed S. 4278, the Banning All Coliforms That Even Remotely Infect Act (BACTERIA), which outlaws flesh-eating bacteria and other bacterial contaminants surmised of eating flesh, from legally occupying U.S. soil. Any American suspected of harboring flesh-eating bacteria will be subject to interrogation or arrest without a warrant or probable cause under the new bill, which lawmakers say will preserve freedom and liberty for all Americans.

"Bacterial terrorism simply can't be ignored in a post-9/11 world," said Nevada Senator Harry Reid, who is also cosponsoring an amendment to the PATRIOT Act that would provision warrantless vehicle checkpoints on U.S. interstates for the purpose of capturing flesh-eating bacterial strains, and immediately treating them with FDA-approved antibiotics. "Today, we take an essential step in defeating bacterial terrorism, while protecting the constitutional rights of all Americans."

Sources for this article include:

http://www.courthousenews.com/2012/05/22/46702.htm

http://www.dailymail.co.uk

http://tv.naturalnews.com/v.asp?v=5A4B5D4B84344D5D9CBD262A53D8B071

Join over four million monthly readers. Your privacy is protected. Unsubscribe at any time.
comments powered by Disqus
Take Action: Support NaturalNews.com by linking back to this article from your website

Permalink to this article:

Embed article link: (copy HTML code below):

Reprinting this article:
Non-commercial use OK, cite NaturalNews.com with clickable link.

Follow Natural News on Facebook, Twitter, Google Plus, and Pinterest

Colloidal Silver

Advertise with NaturalNews...

Support NaturalNews Sponsors:

Advertise with NaturalNews...

GET SHOW DETAILS
+ a FREE GIFT

Sign up for the FREE Natural News Email Newsletter

Receive breaking news on GMOs, vaccines, fluoride, radiation protection, natural cures, food safety alerts and interviews with the world's top experts on natural health and more.

Join over 7 million monthly readers of NaturalNews.com, the internet's No. 1 natural health news site. (Source: Alexa.com)

Your email address *

Please enter the code you see above*

No Thanks

Already have it and love it!

Natural News supports and helps fund these organizations:

* Required. Once you click submit, we will send you an email asking you to confirm your free registration. Your privacy is assured and your information is kept confidential. You may unsubscribe at anytime.