(NaturalNews) A woman came to see me years ago, very concerned because her 9-year-old her son, Bobby (name changed), was "severely disrespectful" in school. His teacher suggested that he was ADHD and asked the mother to please get it under control. Bobby routinely refused to follow instructions, couldn't sit still or follow lesson plans, and would often get up to wander aimlessly around the classroom in the middle of a lecture.
Of course, the thoughtful teacher referred mom to a nice doctor with a reputation for hooking up frustrated parents with drug fixes for their kids. Parents who didn't mind turning over their child's brain to big pharma flocked to him.
Not Bobby's mom. In spite of being at her wits end, she came to me to discuss other interventions that might be made before resorting to drugs. Within a month, my new nine-year-old friend had made such dramatic improvements that his teacher called me to ask what I did. "It wasn't very complicated," I replied. "They figured out what was troubling Bobby and addressed it."
If a child is distracted, uncooperative, stressed, confused, hyperactive or otherwise troubled, then there is a reason for that. Something is wrong. It is entirely possible to find out what's going on and then address it. When you do, the problem goes away.
Bobby's mother left his father two years prior to my meeting them. Dad had always been good about visiting Bobby on weekends until recently. He had a new girlfriend and was favoring time with her over his son. Bobby was lucky if he saw his dad once a month.
Mom had recently picked up some extra work and was bringing it home at night. She needed the money, but this new preoccupation stole time she usually spent with her son. Bobby was feeling more and more alone, but wasn't aware how stressed out he had become over all of this. His feelings manifested through his behaviors, which were getting worse every week. It didn't help that when Bobby acted out he was scolded and sent to his room for the night.
Do we need to go further than this? Do we need a medical diagnosis to enlighten us as to the problem here? Do we need drugs to solve this one? Of course not. In fact, giving the kid a label and shoveling drugs down his throat would be yet another way to overlook Bobby's needs.
Mom got it. Like any caring mother who wakes up to her child's overlooked needs, she put herself in a position to address them. Here is what she did:
• Set aside time every night to do homework and play a game with Bobby.
• Called her ex-husband and communicated what Bobby was going through, which woke dad up, too (somewhat).
• Met with Bobby's teacher to set classroom goals and send the message to Bobby that mom and teacher were working together.
• Spoke with Bobby regularly about his feelings, reminding him every day how much she loved him.
• Reduced her evening workload to what she could accomplish after Bobby went to bed.
And that solved the problem. Bobby relaxed significantly and began to cooperate and follow along in class and at home, although he was still a creative, high-energy kid. Do doctors understand or care about any of the real issues in a boy's life beyond which meds can properly hijack their brains? There was nothing wrong with Bobby's brain. He was troubled and for very good reasons. Once those troubles were addressed, his behavior improved.
Can you imagine if Bobby's mother had taken him to a doc who doled out some pills to solve this problem? Can you imagine simply sweeping this young boy's needs under a blanket of chemicals just to avoid dealing with reality?
Here are some examples of questions
doctors should be asking parents before whipping out the prescription pad. If your doctor is too narrow minded to deal with these kinds of issues, then he or she (in my opinion) is the wrong doctor.Is your child under any unusual stress that you know of?
Have you asked him what kinds of things are bothering him?
Does your child have any reason to stay distracted?
Is there excessive fighting in the family?
Has there been any trauma in his life?
How stable is family life in general?
How involved are you with your child?
How much time do you spend together?
Stress, trauma, conflict and other emotional issues deeply affect children. However, children often don't express their emotional problems verbally (neither do many adults for that matter). The emotional fallout manifests through behavior. If their behavior were talking to you, what would it say? How can you support your child in ways you haven't thought of (or haven't practiced in a while).How calm are you when you discipline your child?
How calm are you when you communicate with him in general?
How well do you, mom or dad, manage your own mind?
Parents' emotional state has everything to do with their children's emotional state. It's simple. If mom and dad are stressed, kids are stressed. Count on it. And when you're screaming at your kid and telling him to calm down, it tends to backfire.Is your child creative?
Does he get along with his teacher?
Is his teacher competent and interesting?
Smart, creative, high energy kids often find boring teachers boring! Imagine that. If your kid is creative or non-linear, you need to learn how to communicate with him. So does his teacher. These kids are work! If you can't keep up, it is a sign that you should increase your own energy rather than attempt to decrease your child's energy.Does he eat a lot of sugar or chemicals?
How is his diet?
Nutrition is one huge factor in ADHD
that I am less qualified to write about, but that doesn't excuse your doctor.
There are hundreds of questions a conscientious doctor might use to simply find out what is going on. Is this too much to ask? I can hear some people remarking that doctors aren't supposed to deal with these kinds of issues. This is the realm of counselors. Rubbish. If a doc is willing to put a child on drugs, he should be willing to learn who that child is.About the author:
Mike Bundrant is author of the book, Your Achilles Eel, Discover and Overcome the Hidden Cause of Negative Emotions, Bad Decisions and Self-Sabotage
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