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Please monitor suspicious activity at your local Wal-Mart and report to the Department of Homeland Security (satire)

Tuesday, December 07, 2010
by Mike Adams, the Health Ranger
Editor of NaturalNews.com (See all articles...)
Tags: Wal-Mart, suspicious activity, health news

Wal-Mart
(NaturalNews) As an urgent alert to all citizens, NaturalNews is joining the Department of Homeland Security in calling for people to "report suspicious activity" at your local Wal-Mart. If we hope to beat the terrorists, it's important for us all to spy on each other.

I've released a personal video of my own effort to go to Wal-Mart and observe "suspicious activity" which you can see at: http://naturalnews.tv/v.asp?v=5A4B5D4B84344D...

In my video, I explain how I saw terrorists at Wal-Mart trying to carry bombs downs their pants, and how the terrorists are now using genetic engineering to make "animal-man creatures" to try to fool the rest of us. I also observed evidence that the terrorists are sending time-traveling agents from the future to shop at Wal-Mart disguised as humanoid robots.

I'm really glad Janet Napolitano asked us all to go to Wal-Mart and monitor the place for "suspicious activity" because, as I discovered, Wal-Mart seems to be a kind of secret headquarters for international terrorism activities. I'm pretty sure I saw a guy planning to bomb something (or maybe he was just trying out a measuring tape, I can't be sure), and I'm certain there was another guy who must have been a terrorist because he was talking to himself (or maybe he was just on his cell phone, I can't be sure about that either).

The strangest part of all is that I saw people trying to kill their families by shopping at Wal-Mart. Yep, they were buying processed junk food laced with toxic chemical food additives and artificial colors. Apparently, they planned to take these items home and feed them to their children, which I'm pretty sure is an act of food terrorism.

I also saw people lining up at the Wal-Mart pharmacy to buy patented chemical medications, most of which probably qualify as medical terrorism.

In fact, from the moment I set foot in that Wal-Mart store, I'm quite certain I was observing suspicious activity from start to finish. To me, the mere act of shopping at Wal-Mart seems suspicious given how Wal-Mart has overrun small, local businesses with its corporate business model.

I'm really glad Janet Napolitano now has Americans watching out for each other at Wal-Mart. It's really important because if we're going to be safe from terrorism, we all need to stop scrutinizing the government itself and spend more time spying on each other. It worked for Stalin, after all. It's the People who are dangerous, not the government, didn't you know?

Watch my full video at: http://naturalnews.tv/v.asp?v=5A4B5D4B84344D...

Enjoy!

(For the record, yes this article is satire. But it's satire with a point: To show how ridiculous this new "spy on your citizens" program from DHS really is.)
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About the author:Mike Adams (aka the "Health Ranger") is a best selling author (#1 best selling science book on Amazon.com) and a globally recognized scientific researcher in clean foods. He serves as the founding editor of NaturalNews.com and the lab science director of an internationally accredited (ISO 17025) analytical laboratory known as CWC Labs. There, he was awarded a Certificate of Excellence for achieving extremely high accuracy in the analysis of toxic elements in unknown water samples using ICP-MS instrumentation. Adams is also highly proficient in running liquid chromatography, ion chromatography and mass spectrometry time-of-flight analytical instrumentation.

Adams is a person of color whose descendents include Africans and American Indians. He self-identifies as being of American Indian heritage, which he credits as inspiring his "Health Ranger" passion for protecting life and nature against the destruction caused by chemicals, heavy metals and other forms of pollution.

Adams is the founder and publisher of the open source science journal Natural Science Journal, the author of numerous peer-reviewed science papers published by the journal, and the author of the world's first book that published ICP-MS heavy metals analysis results for foods, dietary supplements, pet food, spices and fast food. The book is entitled Food Forensics and is published by BenBella Books.

In his laboratory research, Adams has made numerous food safety breakthroughs such as revealing rice protein products imported from Asia to be contaminated with toxic heavy metals like lead, cadmium and tungsten. Adams was the first food science researcher to document high levels of tungsten in superfoods. He also discovered over 11 ppm lead in imported mangosteen powder, and led an industry-wide voluntary agreement to limit heavy metals in rice protein products.

In addition to his lab work, Adams is also the (non-paid) executive director of the non-profit Consumer Wellness Center (CWC), an organization that redirects 100% of its donations receipts to grant programs that teach children and women how to grow their own food or vastly improve their nutrition. Through the non-profit CWC, Adams also launched Nutrition Rescue, a program that donates essential vitamins to people in need. Click here to see some of the CWC success stories.

With a background in science and software technology, Adams is the original founder of the email newsletter technology company known as Arial Software. Using his technical experience combined with his love for natural health, Adams developed and deployed the content management system currently driving NaturalNews.com. He also engineered the high-level statistical algorithms that power SCIENCE.naturalnews.com, a massive research resource featuring over 10 million scientific studies.

Adams is well known for his incredibly popular consumer activism video blowing the lid on fake blueberries used throughout the food supply. He has also exposed "strange fibers" found in Chicken McNuggets, fake academic credentials of so-called health "gurus," dangerous "detox" products imported as battery acid and sold for oral consumption, fake acai berry scams, the California raw milk raids, the vaccine research fraud revealed by industry whistleblowers and many other topics.

Adams has also helped defend the rights of home gardeners and protect the medical freedom rights of parents. Adams is widely recognized to have made a remarkable global impact on issues like GMOs, vaccines, nutrition therapies, human consciousness.

In addition to his activism, Adams is an accomplished musician who has released over a dozen popular songs covering a variety of activism topics.

Click here to read a more detailed bio on Mike Adams, the Health Ranger, at HealthRanger.com.

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