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Natural News Notes: FDA Inspects Wrong Factory in China (satire)

Monday, March 03, 2008 by: Mike Adams, the Health Ranger, NaturalNews Editor
Key concepts: The FDA, China and MRSA
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You've heard about the recent deaths and extreme side effect in patients taking Heparin, right? As the mainstream media reported, a key ingredient in the drug was manufactured in a plant in China that had never been inspected by the FDA! It turns out that 93% of international chemical manufacturing plants that make ingredients for U.S. drug companies have never been inspected by the FDA.

Now, in effort to say, "It's not our fault!" the FDA has admitted that it inspected the wrong chemical plant in China! It turns out that two chemical manufacturing companies share a common name, and the FDA visited the first plant once, declared it to be safe, and then when it came up for inspection as the second plant, the FDA crossed it off the list because they knew they had already inspected it. Brilliant, huh?

I just wonder: Didn't the FDA inspectors notice that the chemicals being produced by the plant didn't match their checklist? I mean, c'mon: If you're at a plant that makes chemical X, and there's no chemical X being produced by the plant, that should send up some sort of red flag, wouldn't you think? Not at the FDA, apparently. They don't pay much attention to the actual chemicals being produced by these plants, it seems, and the fact that the chemical plant actually being inspected didn't happen to produce any of the chemicals the FDA inspectors were supposed to look for apparently didn't prevent them from giving the factory a passing grade.

Didn't the FDA goons think to bring along a Chinese translator on their little China factory escapade? FDA inspectors are apparently incapable of accurately reading Chinese characters, which is doubly shocking given that so many chemical ingredients in U.S. pharmaceuticals are now made in Chinese chemical factories. I don't read Chinese characters either, but I speak enough Chinese to know that the FDA inspectors are "ben-dan."

Even better: Fan-Tong! That's an insult that roughly translates into someone being as stupid as a rice bucket. However, I think the proper insult for FDA inspectors in China is actually "Bai-Chi" (with a short "i" sound). I'll leave it to you to figure out what that actually means in Chinese. Just don't go uttering it in a Chinese restaurant unless you like extra "secret" ingredients in your lunch special.

Let's blame all the gays for yet another medical disaster!

I chuckled when reading the recent headlines that declared homosexual men to be responsible for spreading MRSA (that's the antibiotic-resistant superbug that's now spreading through the population). Gee, I thought the old "blame the gays" tactic was worn out with the big AIDS scam, didn't you? But no, health authorities have found a clever new way to blame the gays yet again by pinning MRSA on them. People who have straight sex, they imply, must have some sort of undocumented natural immunity to drug-resistant bacteria.

MRSA, of course, is actually caused by the rampant over-use of antibiotics by doctors. Blast enough bacteria with antibiotic chemicals, and sooner or later a few of them are going to mutate to be resistant to that chemical. Multiply this by a dozen different antibiotics over millions of doses, and you've created the perfect breeding ground for superbugs that can't be killed by any drugs known to modern medical science.

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