Battery display devices mistaken for terrorist bombs

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Boston is in an uproar this week after stupid people dialed 911 upon spotting "threatening looking" devices planted in various locations around the city. What was threatening about the devices? They had wires and batteries.

Oh yeah, and they were advertising the cartoon character from Aqua Teen Hunger Force. Scary, huh?

Thanks to over five years of fear mongering by the Bush Administration and Fox News, Americans believe they live in a country under siege by terrorists who use size "D" batteries to plant advertising displays of mass destruction in large U.S. cities. The same devices were also planted in Los Angeles, New York, Chicago, Seattle and even Atlanta, but for some reason, only the people in Boston were stupid enough to mistake them for bombs.

To show how serious they are about fighting terrorism, law enforcement authorities in Boston are charging Peter Berdovsky and his "accomplice" with a felony count of planting "hoax devices." The real hoax, of course, is that Berdovsky's simple battery-operated LED displays were any threat at all, or that they even resembled some sort of bomb. It takes a whole lot of paranoia to look at an animated flashy cartoon circuit board and come to the conclusion that Al Qaeda has invaded your city and strategically placed bombs in key advertising locations designed to maximize visibility.

Apparently, the average American is so unfamiliar with basic electronics that they think anything with exposed wires is an Improvised Explosive Device (IED). Obviously, they've they've never opened the lid on their own personal computer, because if they did, they'd probably frantically dial 911 from their own desk, thinking that some terrorist had planted a bomb in their computer. "Look at all the red wires! It must be a bomb!" (And then they would think they got the bomb from an email virus, too.)

Here's an actual quote from a news story about the incident: Authorities said some of the objects looked like circuit boards or had wires hanging from them. Really? Wires? The authorities figured this out all by themselves without even having to Google the phrase "red wires flashy thingy with batteries?" Thank goodness our tax dollars are hard at work in the Boston law enforcement community, keeping the citizenry safe from battery-powered red flashy thingies with wires.

I have an important message to share with the citizens of Boston: there are wires in your car, too. Don't leap from your driver's seat and call 911, screaming about how terrorists have wired your car to blow up. Those wires operate your vehicle's electronics. They actually have a purpose that is not related to terrorism. It's all detailed in that automobile owner's manual you've never opened, still crammed in your glove box under a pile of greasy oil change receipts and unpaid parking tickets.

Spread the word around Boston, please, and let people know that wires do not equal bombs. Circuit boards are built by the Chinese, not by Al Qaeda. And when terrorists plant bombs, they do not use bright, flashy electronic displays that scream, "Look at me!"

The fact that electronic displays can now cause a major U.S. city to go into a terror-sticken panic says a lot about the success of fear mongering in America today. The pro-war, fear-based propaganda campaigns masterminded by the White House and catapulted into mainstream consciousness by Fox News are now causing Americans to experience consensus mass hallucinations, where an entire city shares a fictitious (in fact, laughable) delusion based on nothing but programmed psychology.

The War on Terror was invented, packaged and marketed by the Bush Administration as a way to control American citizens, and the fact that it can turn an entire city into a mob of delusional, paranoid idiots is downright impressive. I knew the sheeple were easy for the White House to manipulate, but I never imagined they could be programmed to look at simple electronics and see weapons of mass destruction.

Then again, they can also look at an idiot standing behind a podium and think they see a world leader. So who knows what's really possible here. The sky's the limit. In 2004, the whole country thought it actually saw an election. Pretty much everybody thinks they saw a jumbo jet fly into the Pentagon on 9/11, too, but as I've stated previously, it was actually a flying grilled cheese sandwich.

And I have the photo to prove it!

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