water

CounterThoughts: Water on airplanes, drive-through Rx and doctor appointments (satire)

Thursday, September 14, 2006
by Mike Adams, the Health Ranger
Editor of NaturalNews.com (See all articles...)
Tags: CounterThoughts, health news, Natural News

eTrust Pro Certified

Delicious Pin It
What are CounterThoughts? They're the commonsense questions you ask yourself when you see something in the world that just doesn't make any sense. They're a glitch in the Matrix. You know, like when you see a sign on the road that says, "Men at Work" but they're all just standing around definitely not working.

Here's a collection of current CounterThoughts from yours truly.

Is it really food?

Why does cheese food have to use the word "food" in its name? Is the substance so far removed from food that it has to declare its own food-ness or we might mistake it for a canister of fix-a-flat tire repair?

Can you think of any other genuine food product that needs to use the word "food" in its name? We don't run around saying we're going to buy "broccoli food" or "lettuce food." It's just broccoli or lettuce. The fact that it's food is obvious. But apparently not with cheese food. It's neither cheese nor food, and if it didn't have the word "food" on the can, Wal-Mart stock boys wouldn't know whether to put it in the grocery or the automotive section.

The air travel water ban

The TSA has banned all water from airplanes, but if they really enforced the regulation, they shouldn't be letting people on the planes at all. Why? Because the human body is 75% water.

What are they gonna do next, dehydrate all the passengers before they board? The airlines would love the policy, as it would lighten the passenger load and save them millions in fuel costs.

Can you board a plane if you have water in your mouth but haven't swallowed?

I recently smuggled a liter of water onto an airplane. You know how I did it? I took a cue from drug smugglers and just swallowed the stuff before boarding.

The surveillance double standard

Why is HP Chairwoman Patricia Dunn about to be brought up on criminal charges for spying on a dozen corporate board members, but President Bush remains scot free after spying on everybody?

Drive through for drugs

Why are people aghast at the idea of a drive-through liquor store while completely accepting of drive-through Pharmacies? The pharmacy sells far more intoxicating, brain-deadening substances than any liquor store. Drinking and driving is "bad," but drugging and driving seems perfectly acceptable to society.

Where did you get that milk again?

If adult humans are drinking milk meant for baby cows, why aren't we feeding baby cows human breast milk?

The name says it all

If you formed a society interested in promoting rock climbing in America, you might call it the "American Rock Climbing Society." If you created a national club to promote the study of gems and crystals, you'd call it the, "American Gem Society." So what would you call a society that was interested in promoting cancer? The American Cancer Society.

Notice it's not called the American Anti-Cancer Society? 'Nuff said.

The doctor will see you now

Did you ever notice that an appointment with the doctor is really only HALF an appointment? You show up, but the doctor has disappeared into a maze of tiny rooms. You think to yourself, didn't we have an agreement about a time here?

You're making the mistake of thinking the doctor takes your time seriously. It's really not an appointment with the doctor, you see; it was an appointment to have the privilege of signing up to wait in line.

I know of no other business that works so hard to make it inconvenient for customers to buy their services.

Don't worry, we tested it on animals

Why do health authorities urge everyone to use sunscreen on their skin when the very chemicals used in sunscreen products would be a violation of environmental protection laws if dumped into any river?

Getting the public to swallow the fluoride lie

Speaking of dumping chemicals into rivers, why is fluoride -- a chemical byproduct of aluminum processing -- illegal to dump into rivers and streams unless it is first fed to the population via the water supply? If this stuff wasn't dripped into the municipal pipelines, it would have to be disposed of as highly-regulated hazardous waste.

The miracle of plastics

Did you ever wonder why nearly all detox vitamins and nutritional supplements are packaged and sold in plastic bottles that contain toxic chemicals like bisphenol A? When will somebody come up with healthy vitamin bottles?

The WMD gift that keeps on giving

Why is depleted uranium (used on enemy targets by the U.S. military in the Middle East) not considered a Weapon of Mass Destruction (WMD)? Last time I checked my physics manual, radiation did not discriminate between enemy combatants and innocent children. It just sort of irradiates everyone. Which is, of course, the very definition of Weapons of Mass Destruction.

The answer, obviously, is that OUR weapons of mass destruction are not weapons of mass destruction. But THEIR weapons of mass destruction, which we sold them in the first place, ARE weapons of mass destruction. Why? 'Cuz we said so. If the logic is difficult to follow, don't worry. Nobody else can figure it out, either.

Uh yeah, it's a feature!

Remember the awesome features of the bygone VCR? When you stopped watching a movie, ejected the tape and then later inserted the tape and hit play, the VCR miraculously resumed the movie right where you left off!

Too bad today's high-tech DVD players can't resurrect this old-school feature. Then again, modern DVD players also don't have that ultra-frustrating editing feature called, "Eating the tape" (always accompanied by cool crunch-like sound effects).

###

Get breaking news alerts on GMOs, fluoride, superfoods, natural cures and more...
Join over four million monthly readers. Email privacy 100% protected. Unsubscribe at any time.




About the author: Mike Adams (aka the "Health Ranger") is the founding editor of NaturalNews.com, the internet's No. 1 natural health news website, now reaching 7 million unique readers a month.

With a background in science and software technology, Adams is the original founder of the email newsletter technology company known as Arial Software. Using his technical experience combined with his love for natural health, Adams developed and deployed the content management system currently driving NaturalNews.com. He also engineered the high-level statistical algorithms that power SCIENCE.naturalnews.com, a massive research resource now featuring over 10 million scientific studies.

In addition to being the co-star of the popular GAIAM TV series called Secrets to Health, Adams is also the (non-paid) executive director of the non-profit Consumer Wellness Center (CWC), an organization that redirects 100% of its donations receipts to grant programs that teach children and women how to grow their own food or vastly improve their nutrition. Click here to see some of the CWC success stories.

In 2013, Adams created the Natural News Forensic Food Laboratory, a research lab that analyzes common foods and supplements, reporting the results to the public. He is well known for his incredibly popular consumer activism video blowing the lid on fake blueberries used throughout the food supply. He has also exposed "strange fibers" found in Chicken McNuggets, fake academic credentials of so-called health "gurus," dangerous "detox" products imported as battery acid and sold for oral consumption, fake acai berry scams, the California raw milk raids, the vaccine research fraud revealed by industry whistleblowers and many other topics.

Adams has also helped defend the rights of home gardeners and protect the medical freedom rights of parents. Adams is widely recognized to have made a remarkable global impact on issues like GMOs, vaccines, nutrition therapies, human consciousness.

In addition to his activism, Adams is an accomplished musician who has released ten popular songs covering a variety of activism topics.

Click here to read a more detailed bio on Mike Adams, the Health Ranger, at HealthRanger.com.

Have comments on this article? Post them here:

comments powered by Disqus

Take Action: Support NaturalNews.com

Email this article to a friend

Permalink to this article:

Reprinting this article: Non-commercial use OK, cite NaturalNews.com with clickable link.

Embed article link: (copy HTML code below):
Most Popular
Today | Week | Month | Year

See all Top Headlines...



GET SHOW DETAILS
+ a FREE GIFT

Now Available at ShopNaturalNews.com

O3 Essentials OraJuvenate™
A powerful, cleansing dental cream for maximum oral/dental health.
New Cancer Solutions
Over 3 hours of content covering today’s best cancer tests, how to kill cancer cells and the best diets and exercise routines.
Freeze-Dried 100% Organic Whole Corn
Our freeze-drying method preserves taste, texture and nutrients better than any other food preservation method ever invented.
Fenix TK35 Flashlight
Tough, waterproof, extremely bright and it’s touted to throw an 800+ lumen beam more than 1,000 feet into the night.
Inca Treasure Smoothie Pack
This pack of our four most popular superfoods from South America is the perfect combo pack for smoothie lovers.
Pink Himalayan Salt
This salt delivers significant levels of magnesium, zinc and selenium, with trace levels of dozens of other elements.
Pinhole Glasses - Aviator Style
Pinhole glasses are becoming famous for helping people improve their vision without the risks of laser surgery.
Oxy-Rich Facial Serum
O3 Essentials Jojoba Oxy-Rich Facial Serum is cellular nourishment for your skin. Helps smooth fine lines while enhancing tissue elasticity.
Freeze-Dried 100% Blackberry Halves
Our freeze-dried blackberry halves are grown in Serbia under strict organic standards.

Also on NaturalNews:

Health Ranger Videos
Activist music
CounterThink Cartoons
Food documentaries
FREE Special Reports
Podcasts
Colloidal Silver

Advertise with NaturalNews...

Support NaturalNews Sponsors:

Advertise with NaturalNews...

Most Popular Stories

Flu shot kills 19-year-old, but vaccine industry still has total immunity against lawsuits
Here's a nutty fact: Eating more tree nuts lowers the risk of all-cause death by up to 20 percent
Six important facts you're not being told about lost Malaysia Airlines Flight 370
Malaysia Airlines Flight 370 now clearly a government cover-up: All evidence contradicts official story
10 other companies that use the same Subway yoga mat chemical in their buns
BLM fracking racket exposed! Armed siege and cattle theft from Bundy ranch really about fracking leases
High-dose vitamin C injections shown to annihilate cancer
U.S. treating meat with ammonia, bleach and antibiotics to kill the '24-hour sickness'
USDA to allow U.S. to be overrun with contaminated chicken from China
Vaccine fraud exposed: Measles and mumps making a huge comeback because vaccines are designed to fail, say Merck virologists
Battle for humanity nearly lost: global food supply deliberately engineered to end life, not nourish it
Diet soda, aspartame linked to premature deaths in women

25 Amazing Facts About Food

This FREE downloadable report unveils a collection of astonishing and little-known facts about the food we eat very day. Click here to read it now...

 

Resveratrol and its Effects on Human Health and Longevity - Myth or Miracle.

Unlock the secrets of cellular health with the "miracle" nutrient Resveratrol Click here to read it now...

 

Nutrition Can Save America

FREE online report shows how we can save America through a nutrition health care revolution. "Eating healthy is patriotic!" Click here to read it now...

The Healing Power of Sunlight and Vitamin D

In this exclusive interview, Dr. Michael Holick reveals fascinating facts on how vitamin D is created and used in the human body to ward off chronic diseases like cancer, osteoporosis, mental disorders and more. Click here to read it now...

Vaccines: Get the Full Story

The International Medical Council on Vaccination has released, exclusively through NaturalNews.com, a groundbreaking document containing the signatures of physicians, brain surgeons and professors, all of which have signed on to a document stating that vaccines pose a significant risk of harm to the health of children. Click here to read it now...

Health Ranger Storable Organics

GMO-free, chemical-free foods and superfoods for long-term storage and preparedness. See selection at www.StorableOrganics.com



Recommended Resources On:

Natural News trends
Health Ranger news
Natural News GMOs
Mike Adams tracker
Natural News photos
Natural News Global
Natural News in focus
Natural News connect
Natural News shocking stories
Natural News radar
GMOs
Quackwatch
Vaccines
Health freedom
Dr. Paul Offit

This site is part of the Natural News Network © 2014 All Rights Reserved. Privacy | Terms All content posted on this site is commentary or opinion and is protected under Free Speech. Truth Publishing International, LTD. is not responsible for content written by contributing authors. The information on this site is provided for educational and entertainment purposes only. It is not intended as a substitute for professional advice of any kind. Truth Publishing assumes no responsibility for the use or misuse of this material. Your use of this website indicates your agreement to these terms and those published here. All trademarks, registered trademarks and servicemarks mentioned on this site are the property of their respective owners.

eTrust Pro Certified Android app on Google Play

Sign up for the FREE Natural News Email Newsletter

Receive breaking news on GMOs, vaccines, fluoride, radiation protection, natural cures, food safety alerts and interviews with the world's top experts on natural health and more.

Join over 7 million monthly readers of NaturalNews.com, the internet's No. 1 natural health news site. (Source: Alexa.com)

Your email address *

Please enter the code you see above*

No Thanks

Already have it and love it!

Natural News supports and helps fund these organizations:

* Required. Once you click submit, we will send you an email asking you to confirm your free registration. Your privacy is assured and your information is kept confidential. You may unsubscribe at anytime.