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What are CounterThoughts? They're the commonsense questions you ask yourself when you see something in the world that just doesn't make any sense. They're a glitch in the Matrix. You know, like when you see a sign on the road that says, "Men at Work" but they're all just standing around definitely not working.

Here's a collection of current CounterThoughts from yours truly.

Is it really food?

Can you think of any other genuine food product that needs to use the word "food" in its name? We don't run around saying we're going to buy "broccoli food" or "lettuce food." It's just broccoli or lettuce. The fact that it's food is obvious. But apparently not with cheese food. It's neither cheese nor food, and if it didn't have the word "food" on the can, Wal-Mart stock boys wouldn't know whether to put it in the grocery or the automotive section.

The air travel water ban

What are they gonna do next, dehydrate all the passengers before they board? The airlines would love the policy, as it would lighten the passenger load and save them millions in fuel costs.

Can you board a plane if you have water in your mouth but haven't swallowed?

I recently smuggled a liter of water onto an airplane. You know how I did it? I took a cue from drug smugglers and just swallowed the stuff before boarding.

The surveillance double standard

Drive through for drugs

Where did you get that milk again?

The name says it all

Notice it's not called the American Anti-Cancer Society? 'Nuff said.

The doctor will see you now

You're making the mistake of thinking the doctor takes your time seriously. It's really not an appointment with the doctor, you see; it was an appointment to have the privilege of signing up to wait in line.

I know of no other business that works so hard to make it inconvenient for customers to buy their services.

Don't worry, we tested it on animals

Getting the public to swallow the fluoride lie

The miracle of plastics

The WMD gift that keeps on giving

The answer, obviously, is that OUR weapons of mass destruction are not weapons of mass destruction. But THEIR weapons of mass destruction, which we sold them in the first place, ARE weapons of mass destruction. Why? 'Cuz we said so. If the logic is difficult to follow, don't worry. Nobody else can figure it out, either.

Uh yeah, it's a feature!

Too bad today's high-tech DVD players can't resurrect this old-school feature. Then again, modern DVD players also don't have that ultra-frustrating editing feature called, "Eating the tape" (always accompanied by cool crunch-like sound effects).

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Related Articles: • The Honest Food Guide empowers consumers with independent information about foods and health • Interview with "Kevala" Karen Parker, master raw foods chef • Cigarettes, Lies, and Pet Food Advertising	Take Action: Support NaturalNews.com Email this article to a friend Share this article on: NewsVine | digg | del.icio.us Permalink to this article: http://www.NaturalNews.com/020429_food_water_America.html Reprinting this article: Non-commercial use OK, cite NaturalNews.com with clickable link. Embed article link: (copy HTML code below): <a href = "http://www.NaturalNews.com/020429_food_water_America.html">CounterThoughts: Water on airplanes, drive-through Rx and doctor appointments (satire)</a>