Better than the Flat Tax, the Flax Tax saves our economy and our health! (satire)

Tuesday, October 04, 2005
by Mike Adams, the Health Ranger
Editor of NaturalNews.com (See all articles...)
Tags: flax seeds, healthy oils, omega-3 fatty acids

eTrust Pro Certified

Delicious Pin It
There's a lot of talk today about the flat tax as a new way to raise revenue for the federal government in the United States. At the same time, in the worlds of health and nutrition, there's a lot of talk about the benefits of flax seeds and omega-3 oils. Now, I propose that we combine these two and create a Flax Tax. The Flax Tax can have tremendous benefits for us all, both in terms of lowering our effective tax rates and enhancing our overall health. In fact, the Flax Tax can save our nation! Let me explain how:

Here's how it works: Instead of paying tax in dollars, we pay tax with flax. That's right, we all get flax seeds and we pay our taxes in healthy oils. You see, the problem today with paying taxes in dollars is that the federal government can then decide how to misuse those dollars. This is how we end up with dollars used for ridiculous pork barrel projects. This is how dollars get devoted to building more rockets, bombs, ammunition and funding wars all around the world. It's because we -- the people who pay the tax -- don't really have any control over what happens when those tax dollars go to Washington. (It's the lobbyists, stupid...)

But if we pay tax with flax, it would be much simpler. You can only do so many things with flax. One of the things you can do is grind it up and put it in people's oatmeal, and that has the effect of enhancing the brain health of the entire country. It actually prevents heart disease. It helps prevent Alzheimer's disease and dementia. It gives people better mental function and stronger nervous systems. It enhances their cardiovascular health, reduces the risk of heart attacks and helps control blood sugar and diabetes. In fact, flax seed oil or any omega-3 oil, for that matter, is very good for people, so if we had a Flax Tax, Washington would have no choice but to find something healthy to do with the flax.

Flax-powered vehicles

You can do things other than just putting it in oatmeal, by the way. You can also use flax oil as a form of bio-diesel fuel. Right now there are diesel engines that run on vegetable oil. With a little modification, you could run them on flax oil, too. In this way, a Flax Tax could slash the cost of fuels for vehicles, drastically reduce air pollution from combustion engines, and end our dependence on foreign oil. You could just grow your own fuel in fields across the country instead of having to assault foreign nations who are obviously coveting OUR oil under THEIR sand. (The bastards...)

You see, there are many uses for the Flax Tax. Instead of building bombs we'd be building brains; instead of bombing little countries, we'd be investing in our little children and feeding them right. I mean, gee, if Washington had all of this flax sitting around, they'd have no choice but to ship it off to school lunch programs and retirement centers and hospitals, where they would find ways to put flax into the food items on the menu and to get it into the mouths and bodies of the people out there who need omega-3 oils. Which is pretty much everybody, by the way.

Did you know you can make crackers, cookies, breads and pastries with flax seeds? In fact, raw foods chefs know how to make all sorts of delicious meals out of flax. Just today, I ate some "refried beans" made with flax, barley miso and spices (no beans at all).

Answering the critics of the Flax Tax

Now, I know some critics might say there's not enough flax in the world to convert to a Flax Tax if everybody paid in flax. There's just not enough flax to go around. Hogwash! There are a number of solutions for that. For one, you could make other forms of omega-3 oils an alternative accepted currency. For example, people could pay in chia seeds. They could just fill up their pockets with chia seeds, drive down to the local post office and pay their taxes with this ancient Incan superfood. (The Incas ate chia seeds as "warrior food" because it gave them such great energy that they seemed altogether invincible... that is, until the Spaniards arrived and destroyed the chia-chewing Incas. Which is why modern Peruvians speak Spanish, if you can believe that...)

There are also other forms of healthy oils. What about cod liver oil or salmon oil? What if we all paid tax in salmon? That would be great because then Washington would have to figure out what to do with all this salmon or all of this cod liver oil. What if we paid tax with vitamins and minerals and nutrition? What would happen then? Wow. We'd have this whole country with a surplus of healing nutrients and Washington would have no choice but to hand them out to everyone, free of charge.

But wait a minute! How would our government get anything done if it ran on flax instead of dollars? Are you kidding me? You think our government is getting anything done? Can you name one honest program that actually helped you and wasn't some sort of government trick to shovel more dollars into the pockets of pharmaceutical companies or convince you to give up more of your Constitutional rights for the sake of "security?"

And yet you might say, "You can't actually build roads and highways by paying people in flax." I'm not sure I agree with that. I see signs every day of people who say, "Will work for food." Flax is real food. A lot of people will work for healthy nutrition if you give them a system where they can become healthier and they don't have to spend so much money on prescription drugs or live a life in chronic pain or rely on organized medicine and outrageous therapies like chemotherapy and radiation. So, if we did have a Flax Tax, I'm sure there are plenty of people who would help build roads just to get some healthy food on the table. You CAN pay people in nutrition. It's been done before: ancient civilizations in South and Central America actually used cacao (real chocolate) as a form of currency. (Wow, you could actually EAT your savings account and feel good about it!)

Flax currency is actually worth something!

Our modern system of currency is worthless anyway. Those silly pieces of green paper with Presidents' pictures on them... you think that money stands for anything? The gold standard was dropped decades ago. U.S. currency is only worth the willingness and ability of the U.S. government to back it up, and the U.S. government is bankrupt many times over. Our esteemed President, George W. Bush has -- get this -- outspent the greatest big government liberal spender in history: Lyndon Johnson!

Seriously, what if flax were a form of currency? Then we could pay our landlords with flax. We could pay our electric bill with flax. You see, if you turn flax into the currency, you would actually have something of substance, whereas today the dollar is based on absolutely nothing. And, of course, the Federal Reserve determines what a dollar is worth by how much money it creates in the M2 money supply. (Neat trick, huh? They just print up more money and spend it. If you did the same thing, you'd go to jail for counterfeiting...)

So if you think this is a silly idea, don't knock it until you've tried it. The Flax Tax could really work. I'm serious. It could totally work. All we have to do is convince Washington to switch over to the Flax Tax. That may take a little bit of doing. I'm considering hiring some lobbyists who work for flax farmers to get this legislation passed next year.

If you think all of that is silly, let me explain how this is 100% real and genuine. You could actually do this for yourself and your family. You can exchange worthless U.S. dollars, paper money backed by nothing, for real flax seeds containing real, healthy oils that will really benefit your health. You know how you do that? You go down to your local food co-op and hand them some of this useless paper money, and they will let you walk out of there with flax seeds. How amazing is that? You can take those flax seeds home and you won't even be arrested for shoplifting. That's amazing!

So, if the Flax Tax never passes, don't worry. You can still get flax yourself by exchanging your worthless paper dollars for real, healthy flax seeds. Or chia seeds. Or nutritional supplements... you get the picture. Trade in your useless paper money for something with real value: flax! (Just don't eat all your savings at once...)

This is Mike Adams, the Health Ranger, reporting for Truth Publishing.

Get breaking news alerts on GMOs, fluoride, superfoods, natural cures and more...
Join over four million monthly readers. Email privacy 100% protected. Unsubscribe at any time.

About the author:Mike Adams (aka the "Health Ranger") is the founding editor of NaturalNews.com, the internet's No. 1 natural health news website, now reaching 7 million unique readers a month.

In late 2013, Adams launched the Natural News Forensic Food Lab, where he conducts atomic spectroscopy research into food contaminants using high-end ICP-MS instrumentation. With this research, Adams has made numerous food safety breakthroughs such as revealing rice protein products imported from Asia to be contaminated with toxic heavy metals like lead, cadmium and tungsten. Adams was the first food science researcher to document high levels of tungsten in superfoods. He also discovered over 11 ppm lead in imported mangosteen powder, and led an industry-wide voluntary agreement to limit heavy metals in rice protein products to low levels by July 1, 2015.

In addition to his lab work, Adams is also the (non-paid) executive director of the non-profit Consumer Wellness Center (CWC), an organization that redirects 100% of its donations receipts to grant programs that teach children and women how to grow their own food or vastly improve their nutrition. Click here to see some of the CWC success stories.

With a background in science and software technology, Adams is the original founder of the email newsletter technology company known as Arial Software. Using his technical experience combined with his love for natural health, Adams developed and deployed the content management system currently driving NaturalNews.com. He also engineered the high-level statistical algorithms that power SCIENCE.naturalnews.com, a massive research resource now featuring over 10 million scientific studies.

Adams is well known for his incredibly popular consumer activism video blowing the lid on fake blueberries used throughout the food supply. He has also exposed "strange fibers" found in Chicken McNuggets, fake academic credentials of so-called health "gurus," dangerous "detox" products imported as battery acid and sold for oral consumption, fake acai berry scams, the California raw milk raids, the vaccine research fraud revealed by industry whistleblowers and many other topics.

Adams has also helped defend the rights of home gardeners and protect the medical freedom rights of parents. Adams is widely recognized to have made a remarkable global impact on issues like GMOs, vaccines, nutrition therapies, human consciousness.

In addition to his activism, Adams is an accomplished musician who has released ten popular songs covering a variety of activism topics.

Click here to read a more detailed bio on Mike Adams, the Health Ranger, at HealthRanger.com.

Have comments on this article? Post them here:

comments powered by Disqus

Take Action: Support NaturalNews.com

Email this article to a friend

Permalink to this article:

Reprinting this article: Non-commercial use OK, cite NaturalNews.com with clickable link.

Embed article link: (copy HTML code below):
Most Popular
Today | Week | Month | Year

See all Top Headlines...


Now Available at ShopNaturalNews.com

O3 Essentials OraJuvenate™
A powerful, cleansing dental cream for maximum oral/dental health.
New Cancer Solutions
Over 3 hours of content covering today’s best cancer tests, how to kill cancer cells and the best diets and exercise routines.
Freeze-Dried 100% Organic Whole Corn
Our freeze-drying method preserves taste, texture and nutrients better than any other food preservation method ever invented.
Fenix TK35 Flashlight
Tough, waterproof, extremely bright and it’s touted to throw an 800+ lumen beam more than 1,000 feet into the night.
Inca Treasure Smoothie Pack
This pack of our four most popular superfoods from South America is the perfect combo pack for smoothie lovers.
Pink Himalayan Salt
This salt delivers significant levels of magnesium, zinc and selenium, with trace levels of dozens of other elements.
Pinhole Glasses - Aviator Style
Pinhole glasses are becoming famous for helping people improve their vision without the risks of laser surgery.
Oxy-Rich Facial Serum
O3 Essentials Jojoba Oxy-Rich Facial Serum is cellular nourishment for your skin. Helps smooth fine lines while enhancing tissue elasticity.
Freeze-Dried 100% Blackberry Halves
Our freeze-dried blackberry halves are grown in Serbia under strict organic standards.

Also on NaturalNews:

Health Ranger Videos
Activist music
CounterThink Cartoons
Food documentaries
FREE Special Reports
Colloidal Silver

Advertise with NaturalNews...

Support NaturalNews Sponsors:

Advertise with NaturalNews...

Most Popular Stories

The five biggest lies about Ebola being pushed by government and mass media
White House admits staging fake vaccination operation to gather DNA from the public
Why does the CDC own a patent on Ebola 'invention?'
Ultraviolet light robot kills Ebola in two minutes; why doesn't every hospital have one of these?
EXCLUSIVE: Natural News tests flu vaccine for heavy metals, finds 25,000 times higher mercury level than EPA limit for water
Irrefutable proof we are all being sprayed with poison: 571 tons of toxic lead 'chemtrailed' into America's skies every year
Truvia sweetener a powerful pesticide; scientists shocked as fruit flies die in less than a week from eating GMO-derived erythritol
Russia taking McDonald's to court, threatens countrywide shutdown
Oregon man serving prison sentence for collecting rainwater on his own property
The best way to help your body protect itself against Ebola (or any virus or bacteria)
Senator who attacked Doctor Oz over dietary supplements received over $146,000 in campaign contributions from Big Pharma mega-retailer and Monsanto
Global warming data FAKED by government to fit climate change fictions

25 Amazing Facts About Food

This FREE downloadable report unveils a collection of astonishing and little-known facts about the food we eat very day. Click here to read it now...


Resveratrol and its Effects on Human Health and Longevity - Myth or Miracle.

Unlock the secrets of cellular health with the "miracle" nutrient Resveratrol Click here to read it now...


Nutrition Can Save America

FREE online report shows how we can save America through a nutrition health care revolution. "Eating healthy is patriotic!" Click here to read it now...

The Healing Power of Sunlight and Vitamin D

In this exclusive interview, Dr. Michael Holick reveals fascinating facts on how vitamin D is created and used in the human body to ward off chronic diseases like cancer, osteoporosis, mental disorders and more. Click here to read it now...

Vaccines: Get the Full Story

The International Medical Council on Vaccination has released, exclusively through NaturalNews.com, a groundbreaking document containing the signatures of physicians, brain surgeons and professors, all of which have signed on to a document stating that vaccines pose a significant risk of harm to the health of children. Click here to read it now...

Health Ranger Storable Organics

GMO-free, chemical-free foods and superfoods for long-term storage and preparedness. See selection at www.StorableOrganics.com

Recommended Resources On:

Natural News trends
Health Ranger news
Natural News GMOs
Mike Adams tracker
Natural News photos
Natural News Global
Natural News in focus
Natural News connect
Natural News shocking stories
Natural News radar
Health freedom
Dr. Paul Offit

This site is part of the Natural News Network © 2014 All Rights Reserved. Privacy | Terms All content posted on this site is commentary or opinion and is protected under Free Speech. Truth Publishing International, LTD. is not responsible for content written by contributing authors. The information on this site is provided for educational and entertainment purposes only. It is not intended as a substitute for professional advice of any kind. Truth Publishing assumes no responsibility for the use or misuse of this material. Your use of this website indicates your agreement to these terms and those published here. All trademarks, registered trademarks and servicemarks mentioned on this site are the property of their respective owners.

eTrust Pro Certified Android app on Google Play

Sign up for the FREE Natural News Email Newsletter

Receive breaking news on GMOs, vaccines, fluoride, radiation protection, natural cures, food safety alerts and interviews with the world's top experts on natural health and more.

Join over 7 million monthly readers of NaturalNews.com, the internet's No. 1 natural health news site. (Source: Alexa.com)

Your email address *

Please enter the code you see above*

No Thanks

Already have it and love it!

Natural News supports and helps fund these organizations:

* Required. Once you click submit, we will send you an email asking you to confirm your free registration. Your privacy is assured and your information is kept confidential. You may unsubscribe at anytime.